Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

You need to ask him if anything will change. Eg will he remain happy for daughters to sunbathe topless on holiday and for the whole famly except for him have a wonderful bacon fry up on Sundays, if he will be making a will in accordance with shariah not English law and that find of thing. Is he still happy to come to the carol service at school and sing the hymns and that kind of thing.

The UK has 2m muslims and nearly 40m Christians and 200,000 jews are we usually all get along fine. Half the UK does not believe in God. As long as he does not force the family to change even if things the family does are against his religion then that may be acceptable although even things like ramadam might affect you all as he might be eating when you aren't which could interfere with family life or wake you in the night early or late as he has to eat before and after sunrise and might not be cooking and washing up the family meal at 7pm even if he is not eating it or may be he will - ask - it must be fairly hard to ensure a religion does not interfere with normal family life really.

I think that it is a really wonderful thing when life allows you the opportunity to find your own path. Most of the unpleasantly dogmatic people whom I have encountered have inherited a set of beliefs and gone along with them like zombies, never daring to question their personal compatibility to those beliefs. You should be keeping an open mind at this stage and also spending time sorting out in your head what your actual beliefs are (and how you will negotiate) all of the recurring issues/stereotypes which are likely to rear their heads soon.

Deal breaker for me. I am a practicing Christian with a son. It would change too much.

I converted to Christianity - from the default British religion of not really interested in anything - when I was 20. At first I was very zealous and tried to convert everyone around me, but I mellowed.

My conversion was very quick. I had not been searching for anything or aware of any lack in my life, but one single conversation with my new Christian housemates suddenly opened up a dimension I had not been aware of before. A couple of days later I realised that I was no longer an atheist - and I had been an utterly convinced one - and that there was “something” there. So I suppose that, being white British and having been brought up in a nominally Christian culture, I assumed that was the way to go. The rest is history, as they say - 38 years of it.

Some might interpret my story to mean that I was vulnerable or having a mental health crisis. I really don’t think I particularly was. I suppose I was vulnerable to some of the people I met afterwards who tried to school me into their particular interpretation of Christianity. But fortunately I still had a brain and didn’t follow anything hook line and sinker.

If my DH became Muslim it would be a huge surprise, because he has been Christian all his life - and I mean actively involved, not just nominally. But I would cope with it, as long as he didn’t try to get me to wear a Hijab or give up bacon. I think it’s extremely unlikely, though, because both of us now have fairly open theological views. I am happy to say that I am a Christian and you are a Muslim and they are a pagan, and all of us are trying to connect with Something bigger than ourselves. The Something I believe in - and know - is all about love and compassion, not judgement and exclusion. I think God cares a lot less about theology and the exact details of religious practice than human beings do.

I gave up believing in the concept of hell and eternal damnation a long time ago. My life is better for it.

You're OPINION is idiotic.

And I am reporting you for hate speech.

Pathetic views from a Pathetic poster.

What a nasty, dogmatic and narrow minded view.

It’s people like you who cause disharmony when the vast majority of the rest of us are perfectly respectful despite differences.

Not a bloody chance if you’re non muslim!

I originally years ago was interested in a Persian guy but work colleague who’s Iraqi but very liberal Muslim warmed me off!

Run.

Most recent converts to most religions tend to be evangelical/zealous.

You won't hear the last of this

It’s the conversion to any faith that’d trouble me.not specifically Islam but I’m atheist
converts are vulnerable and can be manipulated or targeted,and can be overzealous to fit in or be a good/observant. I’ve observed this directly with Catholicism, Judaism,Islam . In all these examples the convert was over zealous, preachy and v strict.
perhaps because they lack the buffer of inquisitiveness (cynicism?) you have when you grow up in and Immersed in a faith,that it’s not 100% acceptance

I can only say that my Algerian friend that I used to work with (for a couple of years) and go weight training with (who never discussed religion with me bar one discussion that quickly became very heated - I dropped it and main a point never to raise it again) - once he moved away to London - and I'm relating the story as told to me by his French ex-wife - he became more involved with a local mosque in order to make friends initially but he then started to put more pressure on his wife - she thinks - because of the pressure put on him - to get her to convert and to live as a family more in accordance with the tenets of Islam - it started with a headscarf (which she did at first out of respect for his friends) and then not eating pork but it became too much - he wanted their daughter to go to a Muslim faith school - he became very controlling - I found him a charming guy on the whole but felt there was definitely an edge to him that I never understood (at the time we worked together) that put me off liking him more - it's only after he started working abroad and through keeping in touch with his wife before and after they split (she wanted to go back to France - he didn't) - she did and they split - that I heard about the pressure he put her under not only to convert but to change the way they lived - his faith started to impact on everything in their life and relationship and there came a point where she just didn't want to go along with it any more. To add balance - after they split he continued to support her and his daughter financially and kept in touch although he continues to work in various countries in Europe.

Me too. The implications of this could be far reaching. Born again Christians are bad enough. As an athiest I’d be running a mile from this. 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

His interpretation of a book told him how to treat his wife? Not just him being a decent person? Concerning, not heart warming. What if the book says beat your wife, does he point at it then too?

Religion has no place today whether it's Muslim, Christianity, anything. People who are vulnerable and easily brain washed (sometimes from childhood), "lost" or even mentally ill get sucked in. Its very sad, causes far more problems than it'll ever solve. People do crazy things in the name of a god, often through interpretation of a book.

Yes, this.

I'm a tolerant atheist with a fair bit of knowledge of Islam from friends/work/community contacts. I wouldn't mind people converting (or reverting, as he'll likely refer to it shortly!), faith can give support to people. I'd assume he's missing something in his life and subconsciously hopes to fill it with the rich culture and instant community a religion can bring. What is he hoping to find in Islam?

However, would I want to live with someone who is converting? Nah. It can be a big lifestyle change, especially if done with the zeal of a new convert. Take notice of what @Cocacolathanks and @NiceSmellNiceSmile have said.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham 79% of white converts to Islam are redheads.

In Islam, children by default take on the father's religion. So your children will be brought up Muslim, too. If he is following the religion accurately.
This is why Muslim women can't marry a non Muslim, but Muslim men can marry women of the book.
This is a religion that impacts all areas of your life from how and what you eat and wear to how you do charity, split inheritance and even have sex. I don't think people who say it won't impact you know enough about Islam, tbh or perhaps what they do know comes from observing 'cultural' Muslims who actually are not following Islam as it actually is.
You need to ask him how far he is going with his conversion and what sort of life he wants to lead and see if this aligns with your principles and wishes for your own life. Of course he himself may not know how much or little the conversion will go and whether it will actually last.

I’m muslim op and if you were my friend I’d be concerned. Many people who become born again or convert tend to want to be really strict and follow things literally which as you know with islam can become quite dodgy if he doesn’t use some common sense and wisdom when it comes to things. The obvious problem would be if he starts expecting you to change, dress a certain way etc or then start saying he’s entitled to this and that. I always worry when I hear of men convert to Islam, are they wanting the perceived male privileges that come with it or genuinely are attracted towards the nice stuff. Also depends on his mates at mosque, are they good men or misogynists, with loads of cultural attitudes? they will be a huge influence on his practice imo so I’d watch out for that. My muslim Dh doesn’t go to mosque for that reason. All I can say is don’t be pressured into doing anything that doesn’t feel right. Also what will happen when you have kids? How will they be brought up? There is no obligation on you bringing them up as muslim as seems to be a common misconception for non Muslim wives, that only applies to legalities where sharia law is the legal law. Think long and hard.

This would be my worry.

As a few PPs have said, there are lots of Muslims who are liberal, non fundamentalist and great family men etc.

it’s the die hard converts who know little to nothing about the Quaran etc or Muslim culture in general who worry me.

I’ve worked for an Iranian lawyer dealing in immigration mostly for Iranian clients he was a liberal Muslim and then my ex boss (solicitor) (Jewish) had a few Muslim clients. It’s interesting re culture and how they treat their women and inheritance which is good in general but when you try to factor this into UK cultural life there can be clashes.

I had an Iranian possible client ring up saying she couldn’t get divorced, wanted one and had no idea of UK law.

lots of Muslims and other religions and cultures have no issues in western world and live happily here it’s just when there are issues it can go wrong and a liberal Muslim man can turn more non liberal if you see what I mean.

Great post and 100% agree!

Hate speech?? This happens a lot, I don't hate all Muslims, gosh one of my best friends is from a Muslim background (though she's chosen to break free and marry a white man, a whole other thread). It's just the whole converting so suddenly, rings alarm bells. This happens whether you want to pretend it doesn't.

I would not be ok with this AT ALL