Husband expects same level of holiday for his 50th that I got for my 40th

[Myusername100]

AIBU? My husband is 50 in 2024 and has started talking about where we will go away. When I turned 40 he spent a huge amount taking me to the Maldives, I think around £11K. He expects the same in return. Thing is I only earn £50K a year, where as he earns more than 3 times that amount.

I have savings that could cover it, but that is rainy day money, you never know when you might need it, especially with how the world is at the moment.

I suggested a nice place in St Lucia, high class with AI al la carte restaurants, premium brand alcohol etc. But he's unhappy that it doesn't include a private pool. Heck, I couldn't even afford the swim up room.

I just feel like he isn't sympathetic to my income and means.

Some of you are vile.

Can we please have the word vile back to meaning people like serial killers? This random use of the word 'vile' is so fucking annoying.

Because he earns 150 and she earns 50. I really don't understand all this "joint money" stuff. Bills covered fairly between both, rest is yours, not oh you earned all that but its mine too cos "wifey" fuck that

He's your husband can't you just discuss this with him he obviously knows how much you earn

Spend what you can afford (I'm assuming from how op is phrased you don't pool resources?) - if he doesn't like it then ltb.

He just sounds really materialistic. And demanding and self entitled. I would pay out what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with. He sounds awful, but I guess you haven’t come on this thread to be told to LTB. He clearly has no respect or consideration for you, otherwise he wouldn’t want to put financial pressure on someone who he supposedly loves and cares about.

Doesn't look like you're pleasing anyone on this thread, tbf.

"Only 50k" you poor thing

Lol. How ever will you cope...

I earn just over £11k a year.

Good luck with your holiday.

Still searching for a violin tiny enough for this one.

HOW VERY INCONSIDERATE! 11K £200,000 JOINT INCOME, ST LUCIA, AL A CARTE, PREMIUM BRAND ALCOHOL. ffs!

In your shoes, I'd have seen this coming a very long way off & would have been making a little savings pot to one side. Life is for living! Take him somewhere great, you only live once.

Trying to type through my tears...

Oh how I wish I “only” earned 50k…..
Enjoy your luxury holiday whilst half of us struggle to pay the electricity bill (absolutely not jealous at all before anyone suggests, I have a great life, money doesn’t make you happy, obviously!)

Ah go formit, you don't really need a rainy day fund. Enjoy it whilst you can!

Take in some ironing?

I suggested a nice place in St Lucia, high class with AI al la carte restaurants, premium brand alcohol etc. But he's unhappy that it doesn't include a private pool. Heck, I couldn't even afford the swim up room

😂
You have to be having a laugh.

Are you Hyacinth Bucket by any chance?

Proper snorted at that

🤣🤣🤣

🤣

I would never dream of expecting my husband to pay 100% for a holiday (and he wouldn't expect me to). Our incomes are roughly the same but even if they weren't we would both contribute proportionately.

This man is supposed to be your life partner.
Surely he knows the difference in your income.
What exactly does he expect you to do? Magic up a load of cash you don’t have? Go into debt for this??
Tell him you can’t afford it. The end!!
I can’t understand this at all.

@Bintymcbintface

Quote: Because he earns 150 and she earns 50. I really don't understand all this "joint money" stuff. Bills covered fairly between both, rest is yours, not oh you earned all that but its mine too cos "wifey" fuck that

Because when you get married you decide to share your lives. If you earn similar and want to keep splitting everything it sounds inconvenient but whatever but if one earns much more than the other I cannot see the point in one partner in a marriage stressing and eating soup for tea in order to save for their half of a new boiler (or whatever) while the partner is eating steak in a restaurant/planning their next new car.

Only £50k a year. I wouldn’t get out of bed for at least £100k 🙄