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Husband expects same level of holiday for his 50th that I got for my 40th

249 replies

Myusername100 · 11/11/2022 18:40

AIBU? My husband is 50 in 2024 and has started talking about where we will go away. When I turned 40 he spent a huge amount taking me to the Maldives, I think around £11K. He expects the same in return. Thing is I only earn £50K a year, where as he earns more than 3 times that amount.

I have savings that could cover it, but that is rainy day money, you never know when you might need it, especially with how the world is at the moment.

I suggested a nice place in St Lucia, high class with AI al la carte restaurants, premium brand alcohol etc. But he's unhappy that it doesn't include a private pool. Heck, I couldn't even afford the swim up room.

I just feel like he isn't sympathetic to my income and means.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

693 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Lcb123 · 11/11/2022 18:41

Either he pays (or at least contributes a lot), or you have a less expensive trip. Whenever we go away for one of our birthdays/anniversary etc, we always split 50/50

ThreeblackCats · 11/11/2022 18:41

Nice stealth boast.
£200k per annum and great holidays. Enjoy.

Passtheduchyonthelefthandside · 11/11/2022 18:42

Seriously? 🍪

NukaColaQuantum · 11/11/2022 18:42

I take it you don’t have equal access to money then?

nononononovom · 11/11/2022 18:42

Urgh, I'm out. Enjoy your privileged dilemma.

nancydroo · 11/11/2022 18:43

It's a quandary that's for sure

Swissnotswiss · 11/11/2022 18:43

This sems a really weird way to arrange things. Surely he knows you earn less??

PuppyMonkey · 11/11/2022 18:43

Thoughts and prayers.

shoogled · 11/11/2022 18:43

What a dilemma Confused

Merlott · 11/11/2022 18:43

All money is family money how have you got to this age with separate pots!

Albgo · 11/11/2022 18:44

£11k for a holiday?????

SocksAndTheCity · 11/11/2022 18:44


Chippy1234 · 11/11/2022 18:44

Look at Cape Town. Very stylish and not expensive once you get there

MissAmbrosia · 11/11/2022 18:45

Surely if it's a holiday it comes from joint funds?

longtompot · 11/11/2022 18:46

Work out what percentage of his wage he spent on your birthday and pay the same amount for his.

EscapeTheCastle · 11/11/2022 18:46

What on earth is going in here? What a financial kerfuffle!

milkysmum · 11/11/2022 18:46

Very odd way of managing finances. Isn't there a joint pot?

Hesma · 11/11/2022 18:46

You: Maldives vs St Lucia
Me: heating or mortgage

Tell your husband to get a fucking grip and stop being an entitled brat

Edwina83 · 11/11/2022 18:47

You are being unreasonable to post the details of your very comfortable life to an audience which includes many people worrying how to feed their families and heat their homes.
You could have posted the situation with out the details in order to not sound so tone deaf to the current economic climate.
Your husband is obviously being totally unreasonable.

Mirabai · 11/11/2022 18:47

So 11k is 7.3% of 150k. 7.3% of 50k is 3500.

So your budget is £3500 unless he wants to contribute.

Bintymcbintface · 11/11/2022 18:47

I think this is maybe meant as a gift? You don't buy your own gifts. Then again it's super unreasonable to hint/ask for an extravagant expensive gift too

MightyAtlantic · 11/11/2022 18:47

Good one! 😂
How about Maui?

Charcy · 11/11/2022 18:47

Humble brag🤷🏼‍♀️

What has the world come to when you can only afford St Lucia and not the Maldives 🤢

Maybe you should get a better job 🤔 🤦🏼‍♀️

2socks · 11/11/2022 18:47

Doesn't all your money go into one bank and you just use the card?

AuntieEntity · 11/11/2022 18:48

Can I suggest you take in some ironing to make up the shortfall?

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