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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friend is being mean?

217 replies

PhuketReject · 10/11/2022 12:41

There’s a band I love - friend and her boyfriend love them too. They are American and not toured in the UK for years.

I asked friend if she wanted to go and she said she’s already going with boyfriend. Which is fine, I’m just not sure why we couldn’t all go together. I don’t think her boyfriend has an issue with me.

I don’t have anyone else to go with who will pay that much to see a band they’ve likely never heard of.

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 12/11/2022 08:31

I'd go on your own. But also, don't discount other friends that might be up for trying something new and just having a good night out with you.
I know I would go out with a friend to something wasn't necessarily my 'thing'.

If you do get ticket/s don't feel awkward about mentioning to your friend that you are going. Don't feel like you have to miss out because she bought tickets for the 2 of then first!
Hope you get there and enjoy.

KatherineJaneway · 12/11/2022 08:40

A date night is not going to a gig.

So no one goes on a date that includes going to a gig? i've heard it all now.

CatJumperTwat · 12/11/2022 08:47

It's fair to not want a third wheel. Just go on your own.

dustofneptune · 12/11/2022 09:53

Some of the replies to this are so shocking to me. All this "third wheel" stuff - seriously such a vile sentiment.

I go to gigs at least once a month and always consider it an open group thing. It's not not a bloody dinner date.

There wouldn't even be a scenario where I'd go with a partner and NOT invite a friend I knew also loved the band. I would invite them before the tickets even went on sale. I've spent more time in relationships than I've spent single, and I can't stand couple privilege nonsense. In my group of close friends, everyone is welcome - partners, best mates, friends from work, etc. We don't gatekeep gigs for "date night".

I guess some people really feel a driving need to have a RoMaNtiC gIG ExPeRiEnCe? Where they can kiss through the gig and irritate everyone around them with their PDA.

I hope you can go with someone else - maybe even someone online in the community of the band that is playing! It's worth putting it out there.

Comedycook · 12/11/2022 10:12

Also in regard to this third wheel, crashing their date stuff...if they were a married couple with ten kids who never have a babysitter and this is a rare opportunity for them to have a date night, then fine, leave them to it happily. If they are a couple who don't have kids and either live close to each other or together, then I don't see the big deal with going along with them.

Sennelier1 · 12/11/2022 10:48

I think your friend and her boyfriend just want the evening all to themselves, date night. Some say going to a gig is not date night. I beg to differ 😊 My son and DIL usually go to a restaurant, then to a gig, after that maybe a drink somewhere, and they call it date night when they app me to ask if my grandson can spend the night here. Date night can be whatever makes you happy, even staying in and binge watch Netflix together sharing a bag of crisps.

Jacobsacracker · 12/11/2022 10:49

dustofneptune · 12/11/2022 09:53

Some of the replies to this are so shocking to me. All this "third wheel" stuff - seriously such a vile sentiment.

I go to gigs at least once a month and always consider it an open group thing. It's not not a bloody dinner date.

There wouldn't even be a scenario where I'd go with a partner and NOT invite a friend I knew also loved the band. I would invite them before the tickets even went on sale. I've spent more time in relationships than I've spent single, and I can't stand couple privilege nonsense. In my group of close friends, everyone is welcome - partners, best mates, friends from work, etc. We don't gatekeep gigs for "date night".

I guess some people really feel a driving need to have a RoMaNtiC gIG ExPeRiEnCe? Where they can kiss through the gig and irritate everyone around them with their PDA.

I hope you can go with someone else - maybe even someone online in the community of the band that is playing! It's worth putting it out there.

Totally with you on this. It's so bizarre. I would never leave someone out because I wanted to go with my partner to a gig. It's a celebration of music ffs.

CuriousMama · 12/11/2022 12:04

I agree with seeing if there's a Facebook fan page and seeing if anyone local is going? Or post on your own wall asking if anyone wants to go? That's if you have Facebook?

CuriousMama · 12/11/2022 12:05

I'm going to a local gig tonight with a friend. DH is coming too and ds2 but probably won't stand with him. Anyone can come.

Longjohn21 · 12/11/2022 12:21

If its The Lumineers. I'm going to London to see them. Welcome to tag along 😁

Gbtch · 12/11/2022 12:24

i don’t think there is any doubt that your friend would prefer to just be with her boyfriend. Don’t see it as mean, just is. Don’t make it difficult by asking to tag along. Get your own ticket and go alone. A friend of mine often goes on her own to concerts and she loves it.

Jacobsacracker · 12/11/2022 15:28

I think there's a need for a gigs topic on MN. We can post to see if anyone wants to join us at gigs when we're going on our own!

menopausalbloat · 12/11/2022 15:30

How old are you, 10?

KatherineJaneway · 12/11/2022 18:24

Some of the replies to this are so shocking to me. All this "third wheel" stuff - seriously such a vile sentiment.

I go to gigs at least once a month and always consider it an open group thing. It's not not a bloody dinner date.

How do you know it is not a dinner date?

Norahlee · 12/11/2022 18:28

Nothing wrong with going by yourself. I bought a pricey ticket to a concert and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

mrstea301 · 13/11/2022 12:55

Jacobsacracker · 12/11/2022 15:28

I think there's a need for a gigs topic on MN. We can post to see if anyone wants to join us at gigs when we're going on our own!

Exactly!! This would be really handy!!

crazeekat · 24/11/2022 18:56

Op what happened? Did u go??

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