To think friend is being mean?

[PhuketReject]

There’s a band I love - friend and her boyfriend love them too. They are American and not toured in the UK for years.

I asked friend if she wanted to go and she said she’s already going with boyfriend. Which is fine, I’m just not sure why we couldn’t all go together. I don’t think her boyfriend has an issue with me.

I don’t have anyone else to go with who will pay that much to see a band they’ve likely never heard of.

I'm with you op...it's mean.

I agree.

I definitely would say to a friend to come along.

Most good friends would.

It's not dinner for two!

I would just message her and say you've decided to go to the gig on your own and something like 'hopefully we can catch up for a drink at some point during the show'. Then 1. it wont be weird if you bump into them and 2. you will probably end up staying together for at least some of it (if she's a good friend surely she will enjoy spending some time together even if she's earmarked before/after as a date night)

Can you go on a Facebook fan page for the group and see if there are any other lone fans that want to go and see them?

Just go by yourself. It's the best place to make new pals I've heard. At least for the night.

What if your other half had wanted to be alone with you, would you just disregard your other half's feelings?

She's not being mean at all, she's planned to go as a date/trip away with her boyfriend and they want time together alone. It's not mean to not want you to gatecrash their trip op.

It is mean. If you usually go as a three,your friend knows this and is purposely leaving you out.Please get a new friend!The band is obviously important to all of you and she could have date night anytime instead of leaving you out.She knows you don't have anybody else to go with,especially if the band is obscure.She doesn't have to invite you but there is no way in hades I'd leave my friend out.

Ignore the mumsnet lot that think everybody is exactly the same as them and can do exactly as they do.If not perceive you as infantile.

'Why can't you go by yourself ?':do you know op,have you had the same experiences as her? Is she as confident as you.....I'm guessing you don't know op? Her world view and realities are different to yours.She will also be able to do things that you can't, vice versa!

I did go by myself to see WT (friend dropped out),I was terrified and only able to go because I was seated.Luckily for me ,I had a great time and made concert buddies for life!

I think it’s mean too, and my DH would agree.

It’s not like we’re short on ‘alone time’ - we live together!

We’re both ‘the more the merrier’ types, which makes life easy.

Sorry, OP.

I met my best friend when I went to a festival alone 15 year ago (although I wasnt alone when I met her I had already met a boy and turned it into a instant makeshift date... because you know lots of similar interests)

she new the boy and stopped to say 'hi' and been best friends ever since - god knows what happened to the boy, he was quite dull in the end lol.

You know I didn’t think of this and you’re probably my right.

I’ve known her maybe 12 years and they’ve been together longer than I’ve known her so she probably doesn’t get what it’s like doing things alone.

What famous band can you still pay £22 to see, tickets havent been those prices since 2003.

It’s not a trip. It’s a 20 minute drive to our city centre 😅

I didn’t say they were famous.

I love the band Modern Baseball, popular in the US but only a support act in the UK. Fame is relative.

Its not mean to not cancel your prearranged plans.

Its not mean to refuse to impose on someone else.

Its not mean to want to do something with your partner

OPs life experiance means NOTHING, she doesnt get to impose herself on others and others and doing anything wrong by sticking to their oringinal plans before OP tried to gate crash.

The lack of self awareness from 3rd wheels and their entitlement is utterly embarrasing.

Thank you and sorry if I’ve given the impression we’ve been together before - we haven’t. I just know they’ve seen them quite a few times and I went with a different friend the one time I saw them - but I’ve drifted away from that friend in those 10 years so it would be weird to ask her?

It's a no name band in a small local venue... makes it even more ridiculous that you wont go alone.

Surprised no she needs to #bekind yet. .... or is 'don't be MEAN!' the new version? (I.e do what I want not what you want!)

Many people wouldn’t feel comfortable to gate crash a couple’s night out, and maybe your friend assumes you’re one of those people. Or maybe her boyfriend doesn’t like you as much as you think. If you want to go that much why don’t you just ask her if she’d mind you tagging along.

When I used to want to go to a band that none of my friends liked, I bought 2 tickets and asked a friend to come with me. I wouldn’t expect a friend to pay for a gif they didn’t want to go to but I always had someone that would come when the ticket was free.
If they are only £22 buy two and ask another mate to go.

You sound psychotic. You’ve literally made up so much bullshit in your head.

I never asked or expected her to cancel plans. At no point have I insinuated that.

How is asking a friend to do something you know she’d like and her saying she’s already doing it make me a gatecrahser? I never asked to join her.

Youre clearly projecting.

😂you title says she's mean what else are we meant to think

You didn’t say how I gatecrashed an event that hasn’t happened and one that I didn’t ask my friend if I could still go with her.

And when did I expect her to cancel?

How have I slagged off her date exactly? Because I said the tickets weren’t hundreds of pounds and it’s in the city we both live in. Those are facts,

If I’d arranged to go to a concert with my DH, then later invited a friend, he would be really grumpy about it. He is lovely to all of my friends and they think he’s great so would never expect him to react like that. Maybe it’s the same for your friend.