To think friend is being mean?

[PhuketReject]

There’s a band I love - friend and her boyfriend love them too. They are American and not toured in the UK for years.

I asked friend if she wanted to go and she said she’s already going with boyfriend. Which is fine, I’m just not sure why we couldn’t all go together. I don’t think her boyfriend has an issue with me.

I don’t have anyone else to go with who will pay that much to see a band they’ve likely never heard of.

Me too! I’d want my friend to come too. The more the merrier.

So a swingers date?

I haven’t got through the full thread so apologies if this has been said but maybe she genuinely doesn’t you’ve no one else to go with?

**doesn’t realise

But surely if it’s her friend she’d want her to come with her?

Eugh, really, you can’t perceive date nights…? You’d take your mate always. How old are you? This site is for over 18s;

If it’s only £22 and you really want to go why don’t you pay for another friends ticket to go with you?

Maybe her friend has assumed she’d ask someone else though and genuinely doesn’t realise she has no one else to go with?

Is it one night only or are they playing another venue? Ask if your friend wants to go with to on a different night or to see them at another venue. Otherwise just go along, you said it’s a small venue so they will be around but you shouldn’t miss out even if they are there as a couple.

You could have just dropped into the conversation that you were thinking of getting a ticket but worried about going alone. No harm in asking if she’d mind if your tagged along.
If she was ok for you to go with them & you are all travelling to the venue one of you might drive so you could share the cost of fuel.

OP, I think it's abit mean. And thoughtless, which is another type of mean in my book.

If you were my friend, in similar circumstances, I wouldn't think twice about us all going together! But then, I'm nice to my friends 🙂

Have they not maybe already got tickets? Maybe seated tickets therefore not possible for you to go and sit with them

Also, even thought I know my boyfriend likes my best friend, she's not his bestfriend. They have two totally different personalities and I know that a full evening with her is not his thing so I wouldn't book something with the both of them for a full evening when he might not enjoy it as much if it was me and him. This could be the same situation. It sort of would feel like I'm putting him out and I wouldn't want that for a gig when it's meant to be a carefree fun night. Shame but if it's something they already had planned I doubt your friend wants to change the dynamic

And same if I had a night planned with my bestfriend, I wouldn't want to put her out and change the dynamic of our night by inviting my boyfriend

If you’ve already arranged to go with someone else, even if that someone is your boyfriend, it’s pretty rude to ask a different friend along without getting their agreement first.

Yes, I feel like if OP said she was going to a special concert with her DF, but now the DF’s DP also wanted to come, the answers would be totally different. ‘Oh, it changes the dynamic!’ etc

I don’t think it’s mean, and would also just buy my own ticket.

Are you going to go to the gig OP?

You are being Unreasonable because you don't know how they came about the tickets. Perhaps her boyfriend got them two tickets as a gift, perhaps they are trying to carve out alone time. There are many reasons why it would not be reasonable for your friend to invite you along. Its her perrogative. There are situations where I would be OK with my OH bringing along a single friend and situations where I would not be OK with it. You do not know the situation yourself and you have no business asking either.
However I have accepted invitations from single friends to go to gigs I had very little interest in so that they were not alone and I had an awesome time. Its time to expand your horizons. I know you thought you would share the experience with someone who loves the band as much as you but that doesn't mean you can't have an excellent time with someone else. Buy two tickets and look for someone to go with! Yeara ago I took my older relation to a gig that my partner or anyone else had no interest in. We had a great time and they ended up meeting the love of their lives that night!
You sound entitled.
Like on of those non drivers who expects everyone to ferry them around.

Eugh?

A date night is not going to a gig. She’s not asking to come along to an intimate romantic meal. They’re going to see a band.

They might not want to have an interluder with them on that day. So what, they want to go without you. It's not for them to fill the gap because you don't have anyone to go with and nor should they have to. Go on your own... Are you really so insecure that you can't go on your own and need a BFF to hold your hand?

If you want to go so badly and really like the band, go on your own or with someone else. You said tickets are £22 - offer to pay for a friend for that amount of take them for dinner as part of the deal.

You sound clingy - maybe it's something you could work on.

Just say hey csn I tag along too I'd love to see them again. Every time we go to a gig I end up losing thr fella anyway as he bounds off to the front and I prefer standing further back. We both end up making a tonne of gig mates while there, you wouldn't be inserting yourself in a date you would. Just be tagging along till you made a new friend

YANBU I think it's mean. I'm happily married and would never do this. I've always been there for friends. Different if they rarely get chance to go out alone but I suspect not?

Contact the old friend. I bet they'll go. Unless they're awful and you wouldn't want to rekindle that friendship?

I think you just have to come out with to be honest with your friend and say could I tag along with you guys to the gig, none of my other friends want to go.

Date night can be anything, doesn't have to be romantic dinner. If they want to go on a date to a concert that's their choice.

Two's company, three's a crowd.

Do they have children? Just thinking from my perspective if me and DH were going anywhere just the two of us it would be classed as a very rare date night! So I definitely wouldn’t be inviting anyone else.