To think friend is being mean?

[PhuketReject]

There’s a band I love - friend and her boyfriend love them too. They are American and not toured in the UK for years.

I asked friend if she wanted to go and she said she’s already going with boyfriend. Which is fine, I’m just not sure why we couldn’t all go together. I don’t think her boyfriend has an issue with me.

I don’t have anyone else to go with who will pay that much to see a band they’ve likely never heard of.

Altho he'd meeting them before hand for like a semi private gig thing so you'll have to stand outside 😂

Just buy yourself a ticket and go. There will be other like-minded people there. Going with others can be a pain when you have to arrange lifts and stuff.
Enjoy it.

I do t think it's mean at all. They have chosen to go as a couple.

Yeah, why aren't you just going anyway?! If it was a band I really wanted to see, I would be there in a shot, sod anyone else

Does the band begin with a D and end with a Y? I am going to this hopefully.

Would you consider going on your own? When the above band toured last time my friend broke her arm and couldn't go so I ended up going on my own and I had a ball. Though perhaps it might be awkward if you bumped into your friend there. I personally don't see why she has been so off about it though. Its not like a gig is super romantic

I would be a bit hurt under these circumstances too @PhuketReject , as this band is a shared interest of yours it does seem a bit off that a good friend wouldn't automatically think of including you too. I would take this as your not good friends tbh and more acquaintances or it is one-sided/she is a bit of a frenemy and knows is is mean.

I would seriously consider going by yourself - whilst I really enjoy doing things with other people I enjoy doing things by myself too when I know others won't be able to make it/aren't interested. I guess you have a few months to get to know other fans online and could possibly meet up there?

it isn’t Noah’s Ark 😂

I can't see at all how your friend is being mean. Starting a thread on the internet to slag off someone who won't change their pre arranged plans to suit you on the other hand...a bit of self reflection wouldn't go amiss.

Just go on your own if you're that into the band. Or if you have other friends you could ask them if they wanted to go with you.

Clearly she wants a date with her boyfriend.

Find another friend to go with? It's surely not that big a deal?

Failling to see how she's being mean...

If you say the band name, maybe someone on here is going. I can’t see how that’s at all outing I must admit. If you’re worried about your friend recognising herself, well she’ll figure that out from your post anyway if she reads it 🤷‍♀️

She's not being mean at all.

So what if it is or isn't a 'special' date night.

She's within her rights to want a night with her boyfriend. You're coming across as a bit needy.

It's not mean for a couple to want to spend time together without a third person. Just go on your own, there is no rule against it.

This is a revelation to me. I didn't realise that women went to gigs on their own. That's changed my life! Bit dramatic possibly but I often want to see a band and then cba trying to find someone to go with!

Because if you are going on a date of sorts with your OH then either half, or both, may just not want a tagalong.

It's that simple. She can't really invite you if her OH expects it to be a romantic time for them.

I'd go alone, because at a concert no one really looks twice at who someone else is with, point being no one will know you are there alone, and if you bump into them just say hi then go your separate ways unless they pull you back to join them.

Alternatively find a date to go with online, I mean this is modern times and hooking up for a date is the done thing and there doesn't have to be any expectation of anything romantic. You could go on Bumble for friends.

But honestly at my age I would 100% just be going alone.

Go on your own. I do it all the time.

I don't see how she's being mean. I don't see why you can't just get a ticket and go on your own. I go to concerts on my own quite a bit.

Honestly you usually get talking to fellow fans and even if you don't it's not an intimidating experience.

Paying hundreds? Why have you made that assumption … the tickets are £22

Does it actually matter wether it’s a special date night or a normal date night? They don’t want a third wheel on their date, which is fair enough.

It does seem to come across that you just want us to roundly agree with you that your friend is mean. You don't really seem willing to listen to other ideas or alternatives & clearly don't think you're the one being unreasonable here.

I'd just book my own ticket and go solo. You don't have to go with them. It would be a shame for you to miss out, but they don't owe you their company.

It isn't your friends responsibility to accompany you to any gigs. If you both want to go together, great, but this time she is going with someone else. Three of you going together is different to a date night.

You can still go to the gig!

I think you are the one being mean here, expecting your wishes to be prioritised over theirs.

Probably because you asked who would pay 'that much' to see a band they have probably never heard of.

Loads of people would pay £22 to go to a gig of someone they don't really know, especially with months to go where they can listen to their music.

Your friend is being absolutely fine, it's you that's being odd. Either rope someone else in or go in your own, don't sit there grumping because you can't crash someone's date night.

As a long time single person I don't think they are being mean on purpose, often I have found couples don't think about what it's like to be single and having to do everything by yourself all the time, particularly if they've never really been single for any length of time.

Hmmm, ok the 22 quid is a surprise, when you said paying that much I think folks were thinking it was 80 or 90 quid and a major act. 22 quid is quite cheap for a gig. So I’m guessing everclear in Oxford.

look it doesn’t matter if it’d a special date night or not, what matters is they decided to go as a couple. You aren’t entitled to go with them, you are not entitled to their company. They are allowed to decide to go as a couple and not bring yon along with them. It is not a reflection on your friend ship. It sounds like they do take you with them a lot.

so go on your own or ask other friends.

I've been going to see bands on my own for 30 years. Just go.