AIBU about DH, lazy in the mornings?

[Calmoutside]

DH wfh, when our DS wakes I go to him and just chill with CBeebies for a while until I shower and dress and get ready, then get DS washed and ready. We leave the house at just gone 7.

DH is generally in bed until about 645, he will sit with DS while I dry my hair if it’s a hair wash day.

He then gets nearly two hours to chill as work doesn’t start till 9.

Its clearly really unfair but not sure how to improve it without being petty and ‘well I’m up so you have to be up to’ territory.

I don't understand this. How old is dc?are you taking a little child to childcare at 7am every day when his father could take him later?

Why don’t you do mornings and he does evenings?

Most households have chores that could definitely happen between 8-9am.

What don’t you understand, sorry? I thought it was clear but apparently not!

@BlackberryCat in what sense though? I mean I can’t go to bed at 5 to take two hours chilled time to myself

Why do you have to rush around sorting your DS out if he's got 2 spare hours in the morning? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to take DS to childcare?

The question is, why is your DS having to leave at such an ungodly hour while your DH snoozes. Can DH take DS to nursery an hour or so later?

Why isn't your husband taking him to nursery? I don't understand the logic.

Why would it be unfair to tell him getting your shared child ready in the morning isn’t entirely your job?

I honestly despair sometimes when I see some mother’s attitudes. You are up early and doing everything every day and you’re worried asking your DH to step up is unfair!!

Your husband takes him to nursery then?

There is zero logic in your morning routine.

Can’t your husband take him in and you pick up?

Hm I'm the DH in this situation. My DH does the breakfasts, ironing kids uniforms, lunches. He is task orientated and I'm still having coffee trying to still wake up. I do the hair though. He sleeps well and I don't. I would expect him to say if he had an issue

Why not?

After dinner, he can bathe and put the child to bed while you have a couple of hours to relax or do whatever you like. It sounds perfect to me!

So you leave home at 7 to drop your dc at nursery?
Dh stays in bed?

I suggest you get welcome tattooed across your body and lay in the doorway.
Seriously, unless the nursery is a 5 minute walk from your workplace start sharing the drop offs.

I can see why people are saying it makes no sense. Your writing does, but your set up doesn't. Why do you do all the drip offs? Why is baby going to nursery so early if Dad is at home? So many Whys

He takes him to childcare a bit later then? Makes no sense you and DS rushing about so he can relax for 2 hours before work.

If you didn't have to drop your child at childcare what time could you leave? Who picks up the child too?

Maybe nursery is near the ops work?

I have. A similar issue. In the mornings I get up at 5. I do a work out/meditation/study or just chill with tea for a bit. Then do lunchboxes sort laundry empty dishwasher get breakfast for the dc.

DH rolls out of bed at 745 usually. While we’re getting dressed. Absolutely infuriating.

Too little info. I'm going to assume the childcare is at or 5 mins from your work.

What does he re chores? As he is at home is washing done and dried? Meals prepared? House hoovered? In downtime?

Maybe take it in turns to take ds to nursery. Why are you doing it every day?

Is this because you’ve got one car, and you drive to work?

I can’t think of any other reason for making your DS’s childcare day so long. Many nurseries don’t even open at 7am.

but even then, if his dad WFH, surely there’s a nursery he can drop him at before he starts work at 9.

Can you explain your daily routine for both of you in better detail? Why are you doing drop offs if he is at home? Who does pick ups? Who’s doing the bulk of the housework etc?

Its clearly really unfair but not sure how to improve it without being petty and ‘well I’m up so you have to be up to’ territory.

Well you are saying that and it is petty. Either your DH takes the child later, and you leave him with the child for 2 extra hours or the poor kid goes to childcare early. Either way one of you is primary caregiver in the morning because of your work schedule. Just even it out at the end of the day or some other time. Not every minute of every day has to be equal in a relationship.

But DH does have time to take ds to nursery.

It needs to be a shared task.