Boyfriend wants to go to his work party instead of my graduation

[spuddy56]

I have a degree level graduation to attend for the CIM course I self funded and worked really hard on around my full time work. It was really tough to do, especially as it was all distance learning, and I'm so glad I got through. Unfortunately it clashes with my boyfriends overnight work party that I am also invited to attend. It is at the other end of the country and he is putting the pressure on to attend that instead as "its a free night in a spa hotel."
I booked the graduation tickets before we knew about the work party and was really looking forward to going as I missed my uni graduation due to being away on a scholarship course.

The whole thing is just a mess now and he is being really grumpy about it. Aibu to just say no to the party and maybe even go on my own?

My grandparents have also cancelled on me due to train tickets etc. So I've wasted over £100 buying tickets for everyone thinking they might be proud of me 😭

Ditch the boyfriend. More understanding of your grandparents.

Graduation over his work party any day.

You'll get another opportunity to stay in a hotel, you won't get another opportunity to graduate.

You earned it, enjoy it & be proud

Let him go to his party with a friend. Take a friend of your own to your graduation. Honestly, graduation ceremonies are pretty tedious unless you’re the one getting the award (and frankly, even if you are) watching a bundle of strangers walk across a stage before a fleeting moment of seeing the person you actually know do it, I wouldn’t bother to try to guilt him into it when he’ll not enjoy it because he’d rather be elsewhere and you’ll end up deflated.

Well the party sounds more fun to be fair. Just sayin!

Graduation is massively overrated. The party sounds fun

He won’t be your boyfriend for much longer with that shitty attitude, you deserve better. Ditch him and go get your hard earned degree and be proud of yourself!!

Does he know it's important to you? I've never really seen the point of graduation ceremonies so accept I'm coming to this with my own bias, but I would be utterly perplexed if my DP wanted to go to a graduation event for a professional qualification over a free night in a spa hotel. Do you know the people you did the course with? That would make more sense, but with distance learning I would assume there's not really any close bonds there.

I look back at graduation now and think, how boring that was. Hours of sitting.

Surely you go to that if you want to, and he goes to his party if he wants to?

The party probably will be more fun, but that’s not the point. This is something you’ve worked hard for, you’d booked tickets before the party was on the table. He’s being really unsupportive. He ought to be booking a spa hotel near your graduation. I’m sorry your achievement isn’t being celebrated enough.

Honestly I was bored at my own graduation, I only went because I knew it meant a lot to my parents and grandparents to see me graduate, but I would not have expected anyone else to attend.

Is no one going to graduation with you?

I didn’t go to my degree graduation, I did a diploma one and that was boring enough. Work party wins for me.

The party would be more fun even if it was an degree graduation, but ceremonies for professional qualifications aren't really a "thing" - so I can see why he doesn't think it's important. He's not in the wrong for wanting to go to his do, but neither are you in the wrong for being a bit disappointed.

Take your family and enjoy the event, then forget about it and move on.

He will be really upset if I say no to the work party and probably will not go without me anyway. He really wants me to go to the work party, not just each do our own thing.

I just thought it would be nice to celebrate something I was so proud of doing with people I love but obviously I was wrong as no one wants to come.

i have just re read and it isn't even a degree graduation its for a professional qual, even more reason to go to the party

I think Graduations are great for the person graduating but not so much for the friends and relatives going to watch.
I only wanted to see my DS graduating but spent the whole afternoon clapping and clapping and clapping what seemed like every student in the town. Then DS disappeared off on the town with his mates. 🤷‍♀️
There’s not a single picture of both of us.

I can see why you’re upset but can also see why he’d not want to go.

The graduation will be tedious. I don't even know why they have a ceremony. I have achieved chartered status without a graduation ceremony. University graduation is more about celebrating a milestone in your life and is different from any other graduation. I'd skip the graduation and go to the party or send him to the party and go "graduate" yourself. Can't blame your GPs for skipping it either.

CIM is a great achievement but the ceremony isn't interesting for visitors attending - is yours in the centre of London?

can you not do both? have your graduation event, have a chat with your course mates then go to the party for afters?

I wouldn't expect grandparents to go - partner yes, if free, but I agree with others it's a boring occasion and makes more sense to go with fellow students if they are your friends.

I did a postgrad cert a few years ago and didn't even consider going or inviting anyone - it was enough to pass and feel proud of that.

Could you celebrate with your dp another time?

Sorry but it sounds dull as dishwater, great for getting the qualification but ditch the ceremony and go and have fun at the party for gods sake!

Can you go to the graduation and be late to the work party? Graduation trumps work party imo you worked flipping hard you get to celebrate and have that acknowledged.

Graduation ceremonies are extremely dull and totally overrated.

A graduation from a professional development course? I'd pick the party too.