I want a sibling for our 4 year old but DH doesn’t want anymore

[Mangoandcoconut]

As the title states.

I want our 4 year old DS to have a sibling but DH doesn’t want anymore.
Our son is suspected ASD/ADHD but definitely ND in some way.

We aren’t in a great financial position. But I think we could manage with one more. We have a spare bedroom too.

Anyway, he’s adamant he doesn’t want to do it again. The sleepless nights, the potty training, the colic, weaning and all the rest of it.

I don’t know where to go from here.
The thought of him not having a sibling makes me really sad…I have a brother who I was close to growing up and my DH has a brother and sister. So neither of us know what it’s like having no siblings.
I’m worried he’ll be lonely and have no one to play with as he grows up.

@AnnoyedHumph

Load of rubbish. We were both developmentally on track we just happened to get on.

There is 5 years between my oldest and youngest (I have 3). They get on like a house on fire. The middle child and the oldest often clash and there is 22 months between them.

Swings and roundabouts but you can’t assume a sibling will not be beneficial due to a 5 year gap.

No two children will be the same and at the same age developmentally so why does it matter? Kids closer in age are more likely to argue. Saying the gap is too big to be worth it is ridiculous. It’s also triggering for those who are struggling with secondary infertility who can’t get this ‘ideal short gap’.

Well you are triggering me with your dismissive attitude.

I grew up an only child and found it incredibly lonely.

My kids have a large gap and are very close. YANBU but neither is your husband. Tough situation.

I have an idea OP.

Your 4 year old will be going to school soon, so put wheels in motion to get yourself a job. If you have job you can save for a couple of years. Do some financial planning and then in about 5 years you can have another child and have enough money to pay for them and a nanny.
By that time your eldest will be 9/10 and more independent.
Run that one past your DH and see what he says 🙂

There are lots of positives for an only child. Undivided attention, more money to spend on them, and siblings might not get on with each other anyway.

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