To think a grandparent should want to spend time with their grandchild/grandchildren?

[Woopwoo]

I understand grandparents shouldn’t HAVE to babysit grandchildren but why would they not WANT to (if they are physically able to do so)?

There are lots of threads on here from parents who struggle to get childcare due to various reasons, one being that grandparents can’t/won’t help out.

When I was younger I used to love going to my grandparents houses for dinner/sleepovers and they were always just as excited as me!

My parents don’t bother with my children and I feel really sad for them. They never ask to have them round at their house for dinner and I can count on 1 hand the amount of times they have had a sleepover (they are primary aged children)

If my children choose to have their own children when they grow up I would love to be the grandma and do lots of activities with them and have them for sleepovers! I just don’t understand why so many don’t?

Worth bearing in mind that it's becoming increasingly common to have children later on in life, so grandparents are getting older and older. And it's also increasingly common to work for later, so not all grandparents are retired.

I think it's very different for your parents being grandparents now than for your grandparents being grandparents then.

There’s a thread in here about how we were much b better parents before we had kids because it’s easier to say we will do x,y and z till the reality kicks in.

This reads very much like that but in relation to grandparents.

I was never once looked after by my grandparents. They saw me as an expensive inconvenience. It still affects me as an adult. When people are dismissive about me or don’t let me speak (eg. in a meeting), I go into ‘little girl that sits in a corner desperately trying not to get seen or heard’ mode.

My husband didn't have children til he was 40. If our sons do likewise he'll be 80+ when any grandchildren arrive and I'll be mid 70s, so however delighted I am to have them I doubt we're going to have a huge amount of energy for doing solo care.

My DM has never had any time alone with my DD. Has never babysat or done anything with DD. She recently came to my house for the first time in about 4 years... She claims to be interested but actions speak louder than words. I never had any grandparents so don't feel like DD is missing out.

I have possibly been a bit unfair to my parents - particularly my mum. She freely admits that she doesn’t enjoy small children - once they are a bit older, and can have a conversation with her, she enjoys their company more. I guess she felt the same when dsis and I were little, but I can’t remember feeling unloved or that mum wasn’t interested in me.

She definitely enjoys spending time with the boys now they are grown up - and she absolutely loved meeting her great granddaughter recently. Sadly my dad died in 2000, so never got to see the boys grow up. I wish he had - especially as he was a maths teacher all his working life, and now ds2 is too. I think he’d have been really pleased.

Because they don't have to. You decided to have children so even if they can why should they help out?

I get no help and don't expect it either. They've done their part if they don't want to actively look after their grandchildren then so be it.

It's not an entitlement on your behalf.

We're all different! I'm a hands on grandparent to two sets of grandchildren, hands off to the other two sets (really my daughters in laws choice, which is fine). I take them out, babysit, have them overnight or while parents are on holiday, collect from school, take to sports fixtures etc. My choice. If I didn't want to do I wouldn't. Your parents have opted out.