Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be embarrassed by my behaviour- road rage incident

219 replies

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:45

I am absolutely mortified this morning...

When I was driving home there was busy traffic on the main road and there were cars trying to join the main road from a side road. I was on the main road and the people in front of me were letting all the cars from the side road in in front of us so I was stuck still in traffic for ages behind them all . To make matters worse my child was screaming in back of car whole time as wasn’t happy the car wasn’t moving. I know obviously you need to let cars from the side road in but it was literally every car so it meant when the traffic did start to move a bit they were just letting another car in and so I wasn’t getting to move forward at all for ages.

anyway when I finally reached the point in the road where other cars from the side road were trying to join I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in as I had been waiting for a long time as everyone in front of me had been letting them all in.
However there was a man with who I’m guessing was with his wife and teenage son in the car trying to join in front of me and he was having none of it.
there wasn’t much room between me and the car In front but this man just kept coming forward and forward and trying to get in front of my car and I could see he was laughing as he was doing it. He actually forced me to break as otherwise he was just going to go in into my car he got that close.
he managed to squeeze just a bit of the very front of his car in between mine and the car in front of me.
This is where I am really embarrassed I all of a sudden was so angry and I beeped my horn and stuck my finger up at him and shouted (I doubt he would have heard me shout as the windows were shut) but he then proceeded to sit in the car and him and his teenage son looked at me and laughed hysterically. They looked and laughed at me for a while it was ridiculous .
I was absolutely furious at a grown man who looked to be in his 50’s acting so childish.
when the traffic moved forward a bit in front of me he was then able to properly pull out and I beeped at him again as I was so wound up at this point because they had just been sitting laughing at me.

I’ve never done that before and now that I’ve calmed down I’m really embarrassed somebody that I know might have seen me. I also feel like such a bad mum as I had just had a great night with my son and I feel so bad ruining it because I got so angry at some idiot and shouted in front of him. I know I reacted badly to quite a minor incident, I’m under a lot of stress and pressure at the moment. I’ve been going through court with an abusive ex who used to abuse me and wind me up and then laugh at me reacting to his abuse and so this just kind of stuck a nerve with me.

Has anyone else just lost their temper and then totally regretted it afterwards?

OP posts:
Schroedingersimmigrant · 06/11/2022 09:53

How is he the bad guy since you didn't allow for zipper merge?

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:54

It was in a small village it wasn’t on the motorway or anything

OP posts:
Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:55

Was I just meant to sit on the main road all night as all the cars from the side road joined in front of me?

OP posts:
HRD2be · 06/11/2022 09:55

You decided not to let anyone in then lost your temper when they got in anyway, yes YABU.

I say this as someone who suffers from road rage!

primeoflife · 06/11/2022 09:55

Surely you take it in turns

Traisonthewine78 · 06/11/2022 09:56

We all have bad moments. A crying child in the back of the car can push you to the edge. Don't be hard on yourself.

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:56

It was only because the cars in front of me had been letting literally everyone in so I had been sitting stuck still for ages

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 06/11/2022 09:57

anyway when I finally reached the point in the road where other cars from the side road were trying to join I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in as I had been waiting for a long time as everyone in front of me had been letting them all in.

YABU for this. That's just how road etiquette works. You all take it in turns. Everyone else has been waiting too.

MsMcGonagall · 06/11/2022 09:57

Sounds like it was your right of way.

Also , nothing got damaged, you didn't bump the car etc.

So don't worry , there were reasons for your stress and anger.

Sorry there is so much stress in your life at the moment.

NCFT0922 · 06/11/2022 09:57

How busy is a main road in a small village? You obviously wouldn’t of been there all night. YABU and pathetic, it’s unsurprising they laughed really seeing a grown woman get so worked up over someone joining the road.

JudgeRindersMinder · 06/11/2022 09:57

Oh dear. Not your finest moment but we’re all allowed to have them. No harm has been done, don’t dwell on it, I’m sure the other driver isn’t

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:58

You aren’t understanding what I’m saying though I had been waiting longer

OP posts:
smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 06/11/2022 09:58

Im inclined to say you were being unreasonable, imo each car should let a car out to keep the traffic moving in all directions. I suspect the fact you had a screaming child was making you stressed but i think you were in the wrong.

Badgirlriri · 06/11/2022 09:58

Honestly, don’t worry about it. He doesn’t know you personally so just try to push it from your mind.

He didn’t have right of way if he was joining the main road from a side road so he was rude and in the wrong.

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:59

NCFT0922 · 06/11/2022 09:57

How busy is a main road in a small village? You obviously wouldn’t of been there all night. YABU and pathetic, it’s unsurprising they laughed really seeing a grown woman get so worked up over someone joining the road.

They were laughing even before I got worked up as he was trying to push himself infront of me

OP posts:
DifferentOne · 06/11/2022 09:59

YABU but you won't be the first to get wound up by this happening and you won't be the last. Don't beat yourself up. There isn't a driver on the road who hasn't done something a bit stupid at some time or other.

I hope your stress eases for you soon, you must be going through hell.

BlackberryCat · 06/11/2022 10:00

Were they zip merging or not?

we all lose our shit sometimes. Don’t sweat it. It an be stressful driving with kids.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 06/11/2022 10:00

I think a crying child is a very stressful noise which really puts the pressure on as you drive. Don't beat yourself up about this. Try to be more chilled in future. 💐

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 10:00

NCFT0922 · 06/11/2022 09:57

How busy is a main road in a small village? You obviously wouldn’t of been there all night. YABU and pathetic, it’s unsurprising they laughed really seeing a grown woman get so worked up over someone joining the road.

It was bonfire night so extremely busy

OP posts:
Badgirlriri · 06/11/2022 10:01

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 06/11/2022 09:58

Im inclined to say you were being unreasonable, imo each car should let a car out to keep the traffic moving in all directions. I suspect the fact you had a screaming child was making you stressed but i think you were in the wrong.

But OP quite clearly said the drivers infront of her had been letting more than 1 car out so she was waiting a lot longer than the people in the side road, when she had right of way!

HRD2be · 06/11/2022 10:01

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:58

You aren’t understanding what I’m saying though I had been waiting longer

Why bother posting if you think you're in the right anyway?

Schroedingersimmigrant · 06/11/2022 10:01

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:58

You aren’t understanding what I’m saying though I had been waiting longer

The fact that someone before allowed too many cars in doesn't mean you can swear at the one car trying to merge in.

1 in one straight, one in, one straight is the best way to keep traffic flowing even in this situation

ajandjjmum · 06/11/2022 10:01

I think the OP is say (please correct me if I'm wrong) that rather than following the 'zip merger' where every car lets one car in front of them, the cars infront were letting everyone out of the side street, so it could have been 3-4 cars at a time. That would have peed me off too.

Don't worry OP - I've had this time of road rage before and lived to tell the tale!

SkylightSkylight · 06/11/2022 10:03

Schroedingersimmigrant · 06/11/2022 09:53

How is he the bad guy since you didn't allow for zipper merge?

@Schroedingersimmigrant

thats not a 'zipper merge' 🙄🙄🙄🙄

@Newmum1998 I do give way, a LOT. The school run in particular has lots of 'opportunities'. I give way to cars crossing traffic pretty much every time because otherwise they hold up loads of traffic behind them.

in a situation like yours, I'm mindful of the fact that I might have time to wait, but I'm also forcing those behind me to wait.

I have & do sometimes refuse to give way to rude twats. I wouldn't have shouted, but I might have mouthed 'fuck off twat' but usually I just don't give them eye contact & make it impossible for them to pull out in front of me.

don't give it another thought!

Nitgel · 06/11/2022 10:03

He sounds like an arse. Don't stress. Round here in similar circs cars def don't merge in turn but a few cars.