To be embarrassed by my behaviour- road rage incident

[Newmum1998]

I am absolutely mortified this morning...

When I was driving home there was busy traffic on the main road and there were cars trying to join the main road from a side road. I was on the main road and the people in front of me were letting all the cars from the side road in in front of us so I was stuck still in traffic for ages behind them all . To make matters worse my child was screaming in back of car whole time as wasn’t happy the car wasn’t moving. I know obviously you need to let cars from the side road in but it was literally every car so it meant when the traffic did start to move a bit they were just letting another car in and so I wasn’t getting to move forward at all for ages.

anyway when I finally reached the point in the road where other cars from the side road were trying to join I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in as I had been waiting for a long time as everyone in front of me had been letting them all in.
However there was a man with who I’m guessing was with his wife and teenage son in the car trying to join in front of me and he was having none of it.
there wasn’t much room between me and the car In front but this man just kept coming forward and forward and trying to get in front of my car and I could see he was laughing as he was doing it. He actually forced me to break as otherwise he was just going to go in into my car he got that close.
he managed to squeeze just a bit of the very front of his car in between mine and the car in front of me.
This is where I am really embarrassed I all of a sudden was so angry and I beeped my horn and stuck my finger up at him and shouted (I doubt he would have heard me shout as the windows were shut) but he then proceeded to sit in the car and him and his teenage son looked at me and laughed hysterically. They looked and laughed at me for a while it was ridiculous .
I was absolutely furious at a grown man who looked to be in his 50’s acting so childish.
when the traffic moved forward a bit in front of me he was then able to properly pull out and I beeped at him again as I was so wound up at this point because they had just been sitting laughing at me.

I’ve never done that before and now that I’ve calmed down I’m really embarrassed somebody that I know might have seen me. I also feel like such a bad mum as I had just had a great night with my son and I feel so bad ruining it because I got so angry at some idiot and shouted in front of him. I know I reacted badly to quite a minor incident, I’m under a lot of stress and pressure at the moment. I’ve been going through court with an abusive ex who used to abuse me and wind me up and then laugh at me reacting to his abuse and so this just kind of stuck a nerve with me.

Has anyone else just lost their temper and then totally regretted it afterwards?

Don't give it anymore thought-he sounds like he was taking the piss and you gave him the middle finger wave for his trouble. Don't worry it-doesn't sound like you've done him any harm so the only person you're upsetting.

I said YANBU because you aren't unreasonable to be embarrassed. Live and learn and move on.

You said you shouted as well. You no you over reacted, the embarrassment will pass. I’d have laughed if I was them aswell, and surely you’d rather be laughed at for shouting and swearing than have that man shout back or get out of his car and confront you for your aggression when you had your child in the car. Both of you were wrong, just be glad it’s over and you didn’t end up in danger.

I've had road rage in the past from the passenger seat, lol, when my kids were young & in the car & I felt other drivers were putting us at risk! Don't worry about it.

You should've got out the car wielding a baseball bat and stoved in his front windshield. That would've wiped the smirk off his face.

Or done a Kathy Bates and repeatedly rammed his car with yours.

So all in all I don't think you behaved that badly.

Newmum1998 I absolutely know where you're coming from!! At the bottom of our road there's a main road with traffic lights. Just before the main road there's a right hand turn.These roads are routes through to 2 local schools. To get to one of the schools, I have to go down our road then turn right into the right hand turn. And, because of school traffic there are always cars waiting to pull out.The traffic backs up because of the traffic lights changing.You can guarantee that 2 or 3 of the cars in front will sit and let the cars in that are waiting to pull out from the right turn,and,in the meantime the traffic lights can change 2 or 3 times, so none of us are actually moving anywhere. I sat there the other day and the car in front let 4 cars out, they all happily went through the green traffic lights...and myself, and all the other cars that were waiting behind me,hadn't moved an inch. You then get the cars that stick their noses out into the road so I can't even overtake the car in front to turn right! It drives me mad!
It's not you who needs to filter,it's the cars in front of you. If everyone let one car in each, there wouldn't be a problem!

I posted once how I laughed at someone who was aiming their road rage at me and I was absolutely torn apart on here!

You had right of way. He was forcing his way out of a side road like a twat and laughing. Sounds like a bit of a jerk tbh.

No, not your finest hour and honestly, do you think you bothered him at all by beeping your horn? I'd guess not. So not worth your aggravation.

I've had a really intimidating driver come up behind me recently beeping his horn behind me while I waited to go round some parked cars in a narrow street, then followed me fsr too closely and did distract me to a point where I think it was dangerous. I didn't flip him off, but I was extremely (maybe overly) careful for the rest of the drive until he got the hump and drove round me at speed. That sort of thing happens so often these days. I avoid driving at all. Saw another idiot man trying to stop traffic so someone could reverse out of a driveway into a busy main road. He walked into the middle of the road to guide them out and I just thought wtaf are you doing? I'm amazed he didn't get run over. I walk everywhere unless I really can't avoid it. Too many idiots on the road where I am

He was not the bad guy. You were.

@Newmum1998 why wouldn’t he of laughed if you were a man? You stuck the finger up at a man…

Sounds like you both acted a bit knobish, I wouldn't give it another thought if I was you. Just one of them things.

I very much doubt anyone saw you or that you'll see the other driver again.

Please don't be too harsh on yourself as I'm sure the other driver won't of given it a second thought.

Next time, just let a car in and remember they also have been queuing to get to the road. It'll make you feel much better being kind ♥️

Yes you behaved badly by beeping and swearing and shouting, it's road rage and I'm sure most people have been there!

He was an idiot for still trying to merge when it was clear you weren't going to let him in. You both antagonised the situation by playing the edge forward game, it never ends well when people do that!

People laugh in that sort of situation, I've laughed before when a man has beeped and sworn at me (he was in the wrong lane though!) it's my natural reaction to that sort of situation. My DH does the same, he laughs if anyone ever acts like that because tbh it does look quite funny!

That would annoy me too although I wouldn't have reacted quite as strongly. Don't worry about it.

Yes! I’m really shocked how many people are blaming him. He could have been laughing at anything. The OP got completely wound up about nothing and acted like a fool. It happens, but I don’t think he did anything wrong at all.

Last week I stuck my finger up at a driver who sped towards me on a single lane road forcing me out of the way so they could get past (and didn't say thanks to me for pulling over for them). As she went past I realised it was a school mum who I'm usually on good terms with. I died inside but thankfully she hadn't seen me and we are still on good terms.

Lesson learnt - always rise above when driving, especially in your home town!!

@BattenburgDonkey

yes, of course she should have smiled at the man laughing at her & pushing in. Bloody woman she just meekly defer.

FFS

It's just good manners, the decent thing.

Only arseholes don't do this.

I'd have wanted to punch the smug git in the face so I guess that means I'm going straight to hell if the standards on this thread are anything to go by.

You didn't have to give way to him. He was an arse. You lost your temper. No one was killed. Enjoy your day and give it no more head space.

Don't be embarrassed op. It sounds like a very minor incident. I once flew out of my car and squared up to a man that had gotten out of his car to come and threaten me. I'm not strong, brave or a good fighter but was going through a minor breakdown at the time. The look on his face was priceless. I then got back in my car and had a full on panic attack with 2 small dc in the back 😔

A zipper merge situation would be two lanes on the main road merging into one. From OP's description this clearly wasn't the case.

I didn’t say she should do that @SkylightSkylight and I don’t really understand your point. She didn’t achieve anything and now feels embarrassed, shouting and swearing didn’t exactly bother the man did it?

@SkylightSkylight for Christ sake, some women need to get a fucking grip. Why is man in bold for crying out loud. She stuck the middle finger upto a MAN she tried to barge infeont of a MAN. She wasn’t scared of this MAN. She was childish and pathetic. It’s funny when people are so determined not to let others in. I’ve laughed at equally childish drivers before too who get themselves so worked up when trying furiously to ensure others cannot join their road.

At cheeky fuckers you honk your horn once and roll your eyes. you weren’t exactly being the model driver either. Clearly people knew the side road was quicker than waiting and if drivers had been doing a one in one on it would have worked well. You didn’t follow that convention and while I understand why, you got pwnd by the entitled dickhead driver.

your hissy fit isn’t exactly high end road rage and certainly not worth posting about with full on guilt. Move on from the indigent and enjoy your life

Violating the right of way = nothing done wrong at all. Yeah right.

I'd laugh at you too if I were him. People who get road rage or who try to deliberately avoid eye contact and not let anyone in are dicks.