To be embarrassed by my behaviour- road rage incident

[Newmum1998]

I am absolutely mortified this morning...

When I was driving home there was busy traffic on the main road and there were cars trying to join the main road from a side road. I was on the main road and the people in front of me were letting all the cars from the side road in in front of us so I was stuck still in traffic for ages behind them all . To make matters worse my child was screaming in back of car whole time as wasn’t happy the car wasn’t moving. I know obviously you need to let cars from the side road in but it was literally every car so it meant when the traffic did start to move a bit they were just letting another car in and so I wasn’t getting to move forward at all for ages.

anyway when I finally reached the point in the road where other cars from the side road were trying to join I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in as I had been waiting for a long time as everyone in front of me had been letting them all in.
However there was a man with who I’m guessing was with his wife and teenage son in the car trying to join in front of me and he was having none of it.
there wasn’t much room between me and the car In front but this man just kept coming forward and forward and trying to get in front of my car and I could see he was laughing as he was doing it. He actually forced me to break as otherwise he was just going to go in into my car he got that close.
he managed to squeeze just a bit of the very front of his car in between mine and the car in front of me.
This is where I am really embarrassed I all of a sudden was so angry and I beeped my horn and stuck my finger up at him and shouted (I doubt he would have heard me shout as the windows were shut) but he then proceeded to sit in the car and him and his teenage son looked at me and laughed hysterically. They looked and laughed at me for a while it was ridiculous .
I was absolutely furious at a grown man who looked to be in his 50’s acting so childish.
when the traffic moved forward a bit in front of me he was then able to properly pull out and I beeped at him again as I was so wound up at this point because they had just been sitting laughing at me.

I’ve never done that before and now that I’ve calmed down I’m really embarrassed somebody that I know might have seen me. I also feel like such a bad mum as I had just had a great night with my son and I feel so bad ruining it because I got so angry at some idiot and shouted in front of him. I know I reacted badly to quite a minor incident, I’m under a lot of stress and pressure at the moment. I’ve been going through court with an abusive ex who used to abuse me and wind me up and then laugh at me reacting to his abuse and so this just kind of stuck a nerve with me.

Has anyone else just lost their temper and then totally regretted it afterwards?

You totally overreacted but it was your right of way so he was also being belligerent. Watch it in future, you never know who's behind the wheel and it's not worth it. I forget the name but there's a Russell Crowe film that shows how a little road rage can escalate!

Side note I'll often let people in but agree it's annoying when you're queuing for ages on a main road and see the quieter residential side roads (assuming this was?) being let out constantly, it means the main busier run of traffic doesn't progress and builds up further back. The quieter side roads don't need to be let out immediately.

As long as your shouting fest didn’t involve swear words in front of your young child, let it go and try breathing techniques next time.

He was a dick, but didn't mean that you had to. I really suggest doing what I do, which is to catch yourself earlier in the antagonistic behaviour (his) and just go, "Do you know what, F it" and realise that it's not worth the hassle or stress. He's a tool not you, but you went down to his level last night and for that you should have a bit of a think to yourself....

You don't have to let people in from a side road, it's good etiquette to keep the traffic flowing, but I wouldn't if the car(s) in front of me are letting everyone in.
I dislike aggressive dicks that try to force the way in and I would have tried to block someone like that too.
You're human, we can all lose our tempers once in a while, especially when we are under stress.

But to answer your question. yes completely over the same type of instance where I had right of way and burk kept edging out and pushing in. I had let one car come out of the junction just because I do like to let cars out, but then he thought he could join in on the game. I had already put my hand up in a stop motion to tell him I wasn't letting him in. I was in a company car and honestly thought, heah, If we hit each other it doesn't affect me, the company pays... I realised the following day whilst I had been stewing on it all night, that I was the one who had come off worse because I had stewed on it whilst he probably carried on his journey, went drinking with 'the boys' had a pot noodle and a .......
Luckily where I worked, I was good friends with the fleet manager and she was (and is still) very much for people learning better ways of driving. so she offered me advanced driving course that the company paid for. Honestly completely changed how I thought about driving and why getting frustrated whilst driving just isn't worth it (and it then helped with generallly getting frustrated a bit as well).

Fuck it. You're not human if you've never done this!

I am surprised all the people saying that you should let someone out from the side street. You really don’t have to do that at all. I often let people out, but it’s not compulsory. There’s a road on my way to work where people leave the main road and cut through all the back alleys and want to join the main road again further up. This just backs it up for everyone, if they all just stayed on the main road then it would flow normally. I don’t let those cars out!

honestly, don’t beat yourself up these things happen and no harm came this time. Just maybe learn from this and don’t shout and swear at people it just makes you feel worse.

we used to have a bridge where 2 lanes merge into 1 happens all the time I’ve actually see people run into the back of someon rather than let the other car in
realistically letting 1 car in who hardly delay your journey anymore
tbh I would of laughed at you as well

no doubt other cars were watching and laughing at you as well

forget it and move on

This is entirely different as it wasn’t two lanes that merge in to one
I had the right of way and he pushed his way out in front of me and was ready to hit my car just to get in front of me
I doubt the people in the cars behind me were laughing as we had all been stuck still for ages while everyone in the side street got out in front of us

OP you're probably just winding yourself up more reading and posting on this thread. Everyone loses their shit sometimes. Put it in the fuck it bucket and move on.

This thread is so confusing. I swear some people get their drivers licenses free with a box of cereal. Joining the main road from a side road is not a zipper merge. The driver on the main road has right of way.

People are mad saying you are in the wrong, you were on the road and he was waiting to turn into the road - you don't have to stop and he is in the wrong for pulling out Infront of you. Honestly nothing to feel about!

You’re right, I wish I hadn’t posted on here as I feel worse now
Thank you

I'm not sure that qualifies as road rage, more low level annoyance...
This however was road rage...
While cycling through Twickenham Green back in the day I'm stuck in traffic queuing up to drop kids off at school, imagine nose to tail SUVs and you won't go far wrong. Well one mum is just about to reverse into a parking space when another turns straight into the same spot, now blocking the first from moving at all, and gets out to open the back door.
The first woman gets out, very smartly dressed, shouts 'you fing bitch' and punches the other in the face. The second retaliates in kind and a full on fight ensues, I can't recall who pulled them apart. So go easy on yourself..

Bloody annoying and the most annoying are the ones who pull right out and give you no choice but to let them in. Once upon a time I would have been beeping and gesticulating like crazy but these days you can't be too careful. Too many psychos around who would get out of their car and threaten you or worse. This happened to my son once but the bloke backed down when my son also got out of his car and the bloke realised my son was a foot taller and 20 years younger 😉

@Newmum1998 don’t beat yourself up about it. You had right of way as on the main road, and he should not have been trying to force his way out. I try to be mindful of people trying to get out of side roads, and I regularly let people out in front of me .. but if they try to force their way out instead of waiting, they can fuck off!

I encountered a similar kind of twat recently, although it was on the merge where dual carriageway becomes single lane. Traffic was creeping along slowly, everyone nicely allowing each other to merge at the meeting point, the car behind me was kind of straddling both lanes as hadn’t fully merged yet, and a bloke in a pickup mounted the verge to get around that car and tried to force his way in front of me. I decided this wasn’t going to happen because he was being a dick, so kept close to the car in front. He kept trying to force his way in, so I beeped my horn. He gave up with me, went around the cars in front and tried to force his way in again, but they also weren’t letting him in. A lorry in front then moved out to stop the pickup trying to get around him. As traffic kept creeping on, he then tried to force in front of me again .. so I beeped and shouted at him to fuck off. He finally got the message, but he managed to force his way in behind me instead.

I don’t know why he thought he could bully people out of his way, but multiple cars clearly thought the same as me and wouldn’t let him in.

Maybe next time you’ll try and stay calm, which can be easier said than done, but you had right of way and it sounds like this bloke was a bully too. Try and forget about it 🙂

@Pineapplestropical

You need to start your own thread about that

OP, in future get or use your dash cam. Record idiots like that is they are in fact in the wrong and report them too.

nextbase.co.uk/national-dash-cam-safety-portal/

Then you can upload it, sit back relax smile and have the last laugh. 😂
It makes driving so much more less stressful and in fact it forces you to watch your own driving more.

MN and driving threads. What ever happened it will always be the OP's fault. Even if someone pulls out in front of / to the side the OP should have been driving defensively or had better hazard awareness.

However we can get annoyed, but no harm was done and OP you are allowing this to chew you up, he will have not given it a second thought.

I'd say he was an idiot. He hasn't realised that if you are in his position and wanting to get out onto the main road the trick is to hang fractionally further back than normal. Do the pleasantly unexpected. Trying to nose in gets most normal people's backs up.

Doing the opposite of what is expected and assuming the air of being patient and not pushy whilst making eye contact with the driver you hope will let you in usually gets results. Certainly works for me most of the time and I have this daily for my commute. I try to treat it like a game not a contest for my own sanity but I have my moments.

I don't blame you OP. He sounds like an arse.

my rule is to let in buses and people that signal. But only 1.

it think it's perfectly fair to let in a car and then go yourself - I would like to think that people will let me in when it's being done fairly.

my recent road rage was fairly minor (no swearing or fingers...) when someone was annoyed at the long queue up to a roundabout. There are 2 lanes that go to the left and a third lane for people to go right. Well a CF went in the third lane, all the way round the roundabout and then tried to cut in front of me at the merge point. Actually there was swearing and fingers - but just from him being annoyed at not having his maneuver work and ending back 1 whole car from where he wanted to be.

You were both as childish as each other. If i had to call it, id say an adult woman hooting, shouting and giving the finger probably looked more childish than a 50 year old man laughing.
So yes, it was embarrassing, but the chances of anyone you knew witnessing it are low I'd have thought, so no harm done.
We can't have it all ways can we? Either you keep control of yourself even when provoked (and you can, you wouldn't have done that to your boss or a police officer, however annoyed you were) and have nothing to be worried about, or you indulge your feelings and feel embarrassed after.
Generally speaking though, indulging road rage is risky, especially for a woman alone in a car with her child. That guy laughed, others have been known to follow and be very intimidating.

Obviously losing your temper like that isn't great. But you had right of way and he was pushing in so he wasn't right either. And a crying child in the car can raise your stress levels.

So, not your finest hour but not worth stressing over now.

Why did he beep you?