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Original poster

To be embarrassed by my behaviour- road rage incident

219 replies

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:45

I am absolutely mortified this morning...

When I was driving home there was busy traffic on the main road and there were cars trying to join the main road from a side road. I was on the main road and the people in front of me were letting all the cars from the side road in in front of us so I was stuck still in traffic for ages behind them all . To make matters worse my child was screaming in back of car whole time as wasn’t happy the car wasn’t moving. I know obviously you need to let cars from the side road in but it was literally every car so it meant when the traffic did start to move a bit they were just letting another car in and so I wasn’t getting to move forward at all for ages.

anyway when I finally reached the point in the road where other cars from the side road were trying to join I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in as I had been waiting for a long time as everyone in front of me had been letting them all in.
However there was a man with who I’m guessing was with his wife and teenage son in the car trying to join in front of me and he was having none of it.
there wasn’t much room between me and the car In front but this man just kept coming forward and forward and trying to get in front of my car and I could see he was laughing as he was doing it. He actually forced me to break as otherwise he was just going to go in into my car he got that close.
he managed to squeeze just a bit of the very front of his car in between mine and the car in front of me.
This is where I am really embarrassed I all of a sudden was so angry and I beeped my horn and stuck my finger up at him and shouted (I doubt he would have heard me shout as the windows were shut) but he then proceeded to sit in the car and him and his teenage son looked at me and laughed hysterically. They looked and laughed at me for a while it was ridiculous .
I was absolutely furious at a grown man who looked to be in his 50’s acting so childish.
when the traffic moved forward a bit in front of me he was then able to properly pull out and I beeped at him again as I was so wound up at this point because they had just been sitting laughing at me.

I’ve never done that before and now that I’ve calmed down I’m really embarrassed somebody that I know might have seen me. I also feel like such a bad mum as I had just had a great night with my son and I feel so bad ruining it because I got so angry at some idiot and shouted in front of him. I know I reacted badly to quite a minor incident, I’m under a lot of stress and pressure at the moment. I’ve been going through court with an abusive ex who used to abuse me and wind me up and then laugh at me reacting to his abuse and so this just kind of stuck a nerve with me.

Has anyone else just lost their temper and then totally regretted it afterwards?

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 06/11/2022 15:48

@Windywuss

Windywuss it's good manners in this type of situation to let cars out in turn.

FurAndFeathers · 06/11/2022 15:51

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 10:15

Yes and this annoyed me as well as I knew if I had been some big burley bloke he and his son wouldn’t have sat looking at me and laughing as well

Show quote history

You said they were laughing before they joined the queue. How do you know they were laughing at you and not just a family having a nice evening out?

Windywuss · 06/11/2022 15:53

MajorCarolDanvers · 06/11/2022 15:48

@Windywuss

Windywuss it's good manners in this type of situation to let cars out in turn.

Ok. Well I don't think I can be any clearer about this situation! Yes in theory..yes, one each in turn...not what happened here...loads of cars let out..not one..... anyway, You're like a broken record and can't seem to recognise the particular issue here.

Never mind! ConfusedGrin

FurAndFeathers · 06/11/2022 15:54

SkylightSkylight · 06/11/2022 10:33

@BattenburgDonkey

yes, of course she should have smiled at the man laughing at her & pushing in. Bloody woman she just meekly defer.

FFS

Show quote history

It’s not his fault other drivers had let cars in front and wound the OP up though is it?

why in earth shouldn’t he be laughing with his child on the way back from Bonfire night? Is that an objectionable act now?

should he sit there meekly because Op was already irate, refusing to allow traffic to merge whilst beeping and shouting?
good for him for not letting her bully him

MajorCarolDanvers · 06/11/2022 15:57

@Windywuss

Other people having poor manners doesn't change things.

Although it sounds like others were more generous in their manners.

As for broken records...lol the irony.

Never mind. 😄👍

DWMoosmum · 06/11/2022 15:57

Christ, you wouldn't want to be in a car with me!

I'm pretty obliging with letting cars in and being a considerate driver but the minute I don't get a thank you or someone acts like a total penis then I flare up. I just cant bare rude, inconsiderate drivers. There's just no need.

TastesLikeFlavourlessFizz · 06/11/2022 15:59

Ah chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, OP. Don’t beat yourself up.

We all have our moments and I can understand why you were frustrated.

I’m sure nobody you knew witnessed it but even if they did, don’t sweat it. Most of us wouldn’t judge someone for a moment of road rage.

DappledThings · 06/11/2022 15:59

should he sit there meekly because Op was already irate, refusing to allow traffic to merge whilst beeping and shouting?
It's not merging! Turning from a side road onto a main road gives you zero right of way. OP was not refusing to allow traffic to merge she was just not extending a common courtesy which is entirely her right to do. Doesn't give the other driver any right at all to force his way in against the highway code.

woodhill · 06/11/2022 16:04

Yanbu

It gets on my nerves when people let more than 1 car in from the side road in front of them

It's your right of way, they need to wait

Muu · 06/11/2022 16:11

people are arseholes when they get behind a wheel op.

sounds like nothing really bad happened. Just move on.

next time you laugh at them.

OhMerde · 06/11/2022 16:34

Muu · 06/11/2022 16:11

people are arseholes when they get behind a wheel op.

sounds like nothing really bad happened. Just move on.

next time you laugh at them.

Yep, I'm an arsehole. I have horrendous road rage and let rip. I know I'm being an arsehole but it doesn't stop me. Don't give a shiny shite either. Let it go op. It's only a bit of effin n jeffin in a car. It's good to let rip every now n then! Nothing to be ashamed of....unless it turns out to be your boss or neighbour or you're video'd and appear on BBC news!

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/11/2022 16:39

You were being a dick.

People shouldn’t have been letting more than one car in, but you should still have let one car in because that is the proper system. So he fault lies with you, and you can’t blame him for laughing at you being a tosser.

However we are all dicks at times - just let it go. It’s unlikely anyone saw you.

DappledThings · 06/11/2022 16:45

you should still have let one car in because that is the proper system. So he fault lies with you, and you can’t blame him for laughing at you being a tosser.
It's not the "proper system". It's a convention and not a requirement at all. It's a niceity and nothing else.

Your argument is that OP not being nice meant the other driver was justified in performing an illegal and dangerous manoeuvre? The fault lies with her for his decision to be aggressive and force his way in against her right of way? Seriously?

SpideyCraw · 06/11/2022 16:56

i really don’t know where this it’s the etiquette to let one car in comes from. There’s a busy road near me with bad traffic at rush hour, which ends at a t-junction controlled by traffic lights to join a main road. Because the main road is busy, only about 4/5 cars make it onto the main road when the lights go green - but there’s 5 side roads which join that road so if everyone lets someone in, the back just doesn’t move. It’s madness.

Obviously people from side roads need to be let out but it doesn’t have to be one car lets one car in.

user1471442488 · 06/11/2022 16:59

Ohyoucutie · 06/11/2022 15:08

He was…. Inconsiderate

you were rude and abusive and lost your temper

Given your history op with your ex (I recal your user name), I would have thought you more than most would know how unpleasant abusive behaviour is to be on the receiving end

That is bang out of order. Shame on you.

AncientQuercus · 06/11/2022 17:01

I'm a bit concerned about how many drivers on here are talking about "etiquette" and "the proper system". No wonder driving today is so stressful, when so many people make up their own rules.

If you are on the main road, as the op was, there is no rule to say you have to let anybody out at all. The main road has priority and drivers in the side roads have to wait for a space.

I tend to let people out when the traffic is stopped because there is no sense in blocking a side road when you aren't going anywhere, but it isn't the law and I don't have to. The main road to school is horrible, really busy, full of lorries and buses and cyclists and scooters and people popping out of every side road right and left. There is always one who stops to let every single one out of every junction and it is infuriating when you are already late (I only drive to school when they cancel the bus at the last minute, which is regularly 😡). I particularly hate the sort of driver who thinks they can just barge into you and never let them if I can possibly help it.

Raininghard · 06/11/2022 17:01

Gosh this has it all, the stress, the crying child, the abusive ex.

woodhill · 06/11/2022 17:04

AncientQuercus · 06/11/2022 17:01

I'm a bit concerned about how many drivers on here are talking about "etiquette" and "the proper system". No wonder driving today is so stressful, when so many people make up their own rules.

If you are on the main road, as the op was, there is no rule to say you have to let anybody out at all. The main road has priority and drivers in the side roads have to wait for a space.

I tend to let people out when the traffic is stopped because there is no sense in blocking a side road when you aren't going anywhere, but it isn't the law and I don't have to. The main road to school is horrible, really busy, full of lorries and buses and cyclists and scooters and people popping out of every side road right and left. There is always one who stops to let every single one out of every junction and it is infuriating when you are already late (I only drive to school when they cancel the bus at the last minute, which is regularly 😡). I particularly hate the sort of driver who thinks they can just barge into you and never let them if I can possibly help it.

Sounds like my commute and I'm the same

Ooh I have to turn right out of my road and would sit there all day if I didn't edge out

staceyflack · 06/11/2022 17:07

Cut yourself a bit of slack. Some people do what you did at the end of your tether, on a daily basis - it's their normal driving style. They are shits to take the piss... and I'm not surprised you were triggered from what you've been through before. Your life is hard enough.... let this minor incident go. 💐

FurAndFeathers · 06/11/2022 22:43

AncientQuercus · 06/11/2022 17:01

I'm a bit concerned about how many drivers on here are talking about "etiquette" and "the proper system". No wonder driving today is so stressful, when so many people make up their own rules.

If you are on the main road, as the op was, there is no rule to say you have to let anybody out at all. The main road has priority and drivers in the side roads have to wait for a space.

I tend to let people out when the traffic is stopped because there is no sense in blocking a side road when you aren't going anywhere, but it isn't the law and I don't have to. The main road to school is horrible, really busy, full of lorries and buses and cyclists and scooters and people popping out of every side road right and left. There is always one who stops to let every single one out of every junction and it is infuriating when you are already late (I only drive to school when they cancel the bus at the last minute, which is regularly 😡). I particularly hate the sort of driver who thinks they can just barge into you and never let them if I can possibly help it.

Or perhaps we just follow the Highway Code @AncientQuercus ?

“In slow-moving traffic. You should
reduce the distance between you and the vehicle ahead to maintain traffic flow
never get so close to the vehicle in front that you cannot stop safely
leave enough space to be able to manoeuvre if the vehicle in front breaks down or an emergency vehicle needs to get past
not change lanes to the left to overtake
allow access into and from side roads, as blocking these will add to congestion”

please explain how you allow access from side roads without obstructing the junction by sitting across it? Also you are aware that the Highway code is essentially the rules of the road?

we aren’t just making up ‘etiquette

i’m a bit concerned you aren’t aware of the Highway Code! ’

MrsClatterbuck · 06/11/2022 23:55

MajorCarolDanvers · 06/11/2022 15:24

He was not going to stop he kept edging his car in so yes I had to break he was extremely close to hitting my car

Of course he did.

You were being an arse and going against all road etiquette in these circumstances. You should each let one car out in turn.

Please state where in the highway code that it states that when on a main road where you have right of way that people must let a car out from a side road each in turn.

MrsClatterbuck · 07/11/2022 00:06

Op I know where you are coming from. When I used to commute to work when driving through a small city on one road the traffic would get build up on the approach to lights. There was one particular side road and people would let cars out and I would be one o²f them. Sometimes they would turn right to go in the opposite direction to me and that was fine. No problem.letting someone out but what did annoy me were the do-gooders who would let multiple cars out in one go and then they and the cars they let out would sail through the lights but when I came to the lights they would turn red. I would sit there thinking if they had only let one car out I would not have missed the green light.

Redkettle · 07/11/2022 06:06

To answer the original question yes OP. During menopause I lost it a couple of times big style. One on my work colleagues and once on a bouncer. I cringe to this day. Now I'm over menopause I look back and see how deranged I was.

daisychain01 · 07/11/2022 06:17

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:58

You aren’t understanding what I’m saying though I had been waiting longer

OP it's pretty clear what happened. Unfortunately you've opened yourself up to the gloaty halo-polishers who just want to rub in the fact you are a human being who got impatient. And wound up by the bloke who started laughing at you.

You've already said in your OP that you feel awful about the incident, but that's not enough, you'll get people quoting the Highway code like a competitive sport.

You sound like you've thought through the situation and won't do it again any time soon so just put it into the box marked "Cringeworthy" and move on positively Smile

carefulcalculator · 07/11/2022 06:27

Oh dear! I would say your priority would be tackling your underlying stress. Dickhead drivers are everywhere, you should have just let him out because the alternative is a stressed stand off which makes you feel bad - it sounds like you need support for the underlying stress you feel.

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