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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be embarrassed by my behaviour- road rage incident

219 replies

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 09:45

I am absolutely mortified this morning...

When I was driving home there was busy traffic on the main road and there were cars trying to join the main road from a side road. I was on the main road and the people in front of me were letting all the cars from the side road in in front of us so I was stuck still in traffic for ages behind them all . To make matters worse my child was screaming in back of car whole time as wasn’t happy the car wasn’t moving. I know obviously you need to let cars from the side road in but it was literally every car so it meant when the traffic did start to move a bit they were just letting another car in and so I wasn’t getting to move forward at all for ages.

anyway when I finally reached the point in the road where other cars from the side road were trying to join I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in as I had been waiting for a long time as everyone in front of me had been letting them all in.
However there was a man with who I’m guessing was with his wife and teenage son in the car trying to join in front of me and he was having none of it.
there wasn’t much room between me and the car In front but this man just kept coming forward and forward and trying to get in front of my car and I could see he was laughing as he was doing it. He actually forced me to break as otherwise he was just going to go in into my car he got that close.
he managed to squeeze just a bit of the very front of his car in between mine and the car in front of me.
This is where I am really embarrassed I all of a sudden was so angry and I beeped my horn and stuck my finger up at him and shouted (I doubt he would have heard me shout as the windows were shut) but he then proceeded to sit in the car and him and his teenage son looked at me and laughed hysterically. They looked and laughed at me for a while it was ridiculous .
I was absolutely furious at a grown man who looked to be in his 50’s acting so childish.
when the traffic moved forward a bit in front of me he was then able to properly pull out and I beeped at him again as I was so wound up at this point because they had just been sitting laughing at me.

I’ve never done that before and now that I’ve calmed down I’m really embarrassed somebody that I know might have seen me. I also feel like such a bad mum as I had just had a great night with my son and I feel so bad ruining it because I got so angry at some idiot and shouted in front of him. I know I reacted badly to quite a minor incident, I’m under a lot of stress and pressure at the moment. I’ve been going through court with an abusive ex who used to abuse me and wind me up and then laugh at me reacting to his abuse and so this just kind of stuck a nerve with me.

Has anyone else just lost their temper and then totally regretted it afterwards?

OP posts:
SuperCamp · 07/11/2022 06:33

He was being an arse OP.

And deliberately forcing his way in and enjoying it, hence his teen son being involved.

FurAndFeathers · 07/11/2022 06:50

MrsClatterbuck · 06/11/2022 23:55

Please state where in the highway code that it states that when on a main road where you have right of way that people must let a car out from a side road each in turn.

It clearly says you should allow access from side roads - this enables cars to to enter and exit those roads by merging with the traffic flow
you should not get too close to the car in front nor block side roads.
this is all clear in the highway code and clearly not what the OP was doing

Knulp · 07/11/2022 06:51

I drive a white van for a living, something pretty similar happened to me last week, like you, I was frustrated and feeling impatient, and just did not want to let anyone in, now, when the situation is reversed, and I am the one trying to merge, and someone else makes it clear they are not going to let me, I accept it, and wait for them to pass, I expect other road users to follow this, in fact, I normally try and make eye contact with the driver, and if it is obvious that they are hell bent on not allowing me to merge, its pointless forcing the issue.

However, whilst on the main road, this white brand new Volvo estate merging from the side, insisted on nudging his nose and making me brake hard so that he could get a foothold in front of me, no eye contact, just a determined look on his face that he was entitled to do that, I wound my window down and called him a wanker, he gave me two fingers, I laughed back at him, he laughed back at me, and that was pretty much the end of it.

You were just letting off steam, it happens, don't beat yourself up over it, on a normal day, with no kids in the back, you would have reacted differently, it certainly does not define you, any more than what I did defines me, no one got hurt, no damage was done, sometimes even us humans need to bark at each other like dogs, in this world of fake civility, we sometimes forget that

woodhill · 07/11/2022 18:03

MrsClatterbuck · 07/11/2022 00:06

Op I know where you are coming from. When I used to commute to work when driving through a small city on one road the traffic would get build up on the approach to lights. There was one particular side road and people would let cars out and I would be one o²f them. Sometimes they would turn right to go in the opposite direction to me and that was fine. No problem.letting someone out but what did annoy me were the do-gooders who would let multiple cars out in one go and then they and the cars they let out would sail through the lights but when I came to the lights they would turn red. I would sit there thinking if they had only let one car out I would not have missed the green light.

Yes that is a good point

So annoying

feistymumma · 07/11/2022 18:27

I'm wondering why the OP was a dick in this situation. She had right of way and somebody muscling in would have pissed me off as well. Nothing to be embarrassed about, we all lose our cool at some point.

momtoboys · 07/11/2022 18:30

Don't be too hard on yourself. I did something similar but way worse several years ago. I'm lucky I wasn't arrested.

NowWhatBipolar · 07/11/2022 18:35

YANBU and a lot of people on this thread are either the CFs who pull out on people or they failed to understand the basic premise that this wasn't a "merge in turn" situation it was a situation where you had right of way and whatever car you should have let out was actually miles ahead due to the cars in front of you being people pleasers.
You had right of way. You weren't "blocking" a side road you were driving on the main road in slow moving stop/start traffic.

SecretSwirrel · 19/04/2023 21:14

Don’t worry about it, the man is a tosser.

I’ve noticed lots of unpleasant, aggressive male drivers lately, the latest thing is when they frantically wave their arms around like a deranged ape.

For some reason some people think they’re entitled to go first when it’s not their right of way - I just don’t get it!

Pedallleur · 20/04/2023 21:25

Let it go. It was a few moments and you'll prob not see them again. I've had some moments that I think why did I do that. Now I try to let the incident go. Altho since I commute by bike it can get hairy. But there are some utter knobs out there. Once kicked a car door in when the driver knocked me off and drove off laughing. I caught them up a mile later waiting to go thro a barrier. I put my foot into the passenger as hard as I could. It was wrong but his careless act could have injured me.

Pedallleur · 20/04/2023 21:26

Passenger door not the passenger, who was in on the joke.

Sumthingsweet · 22/04/2023 13:05

Why is it bothering you that much ? I’m not sure what you want people to say , you had a bad day lost your temper - move on

Nolongera · 22/04/2023 14:53

Sumthingsweet · 22/04/2023 13:05

Why is it bothering you that much ? I’m not sure what you want people to say , you had a bad day lost your temper - move on

Not bothering the OP as much as it is bothering others, their last post was in November last year.

Sumthingsweet · 22/04/2023 21:54

Ok 🤷🏻‍♀️

nopuppiesallowed · 14/05/2023 15:08

Me..😪. Days before mobile phones... Our son was about 12 and at a school 20 minutes drive away. It was dark ( no lights on his way from the bus stop to our house). The bus stop was by a small parade of shops with a narrow entrance. I decided to collect him from the bus stop which meant parking in front of the post office in the little line of shops. School bus arrives. No son....'Must have missed it ' I thought. I drove to the school. No son. Back home in case someone had given him a lift back (never happened before). No son. No answer from school when i phoned. Back to the parade of shops in case he'd caught a not - a - school bus. No son. By now, I'm panicking. I get out of my car and run to the phone box to call my husband. He was in a meeting. Decided to drive back to the school, but as I got back into my car a post office van drove in, parked right in front of me and blocked me in. By now I was so frantic (son had been kidnapped and sold to people traffickers 😳) that I absolutely screamed at the post man. You've never seen a post office van reversed so quickly....I'm still so ashamed of myself!

SmudgeButt · 14/05/2023 15:42

nopuppiesallowed · 14/05/2023 15:08

Me..😪. Days before mobile phones... Our son was about 12 and at a school 20 minutes drive away. It was dark ( no lights on his way from the bus stop to our house). The bus stop was by a small parade of shops with a narrow entrance. I decided to collect him from the bus stop which meant parking in front of the post office in the little line of shops. School bus arrives. No son....'Must have missed it ' I thought. I drove to the school. No son. Back home in case someone had given him a lift back (never happened before). No son. No answer from school when i phoned. Back to the parade of shops in case he'd caught a not - a - school bus. No son. By now, I'm panicking. I get out of my car and run to the phone box to call my husband. He was in a meeting. Decided to drive back to the school, but as I got back into my car a post office van drove in, parked right in front of me and blocked me in. By now I was so frantic (son had been kidnapped and sold to people traffickers 😳) that I absolutely screamed at the post man. You've never seen a post office van reversed so quickly....I'm still so ashamed of myself!

So where was he???

nopuppiesallowed · 14/05/2023 16:10

He'd missed the school bus so had decided the best place to be was - the gym!

Sumthingsweet · 24/05/2023 10:16

🧐how dramatic

OooohKeepYourKnickersOn · 24/05/2023 10:23

This post is from November 2022

SW2002 · 24/05/2023 23:23

I totally understand your frustration, you had a screaming child in the car too which can't have helped. No one is in their best place to act totally rationally in that situation, I am sure most people have done something similar.

If you think about it, he had probably been sat in that side road for ages trying to join the main road too. He wouldn't have seen you sat there while others joined, so I guess he probably thought 'why isn't this mean woman letting me out?'

Don't sweat it, it's one of those things and it'll only ruin your day if you continue to give it headspace. Forget it and move on.

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