Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not date someone who can't spell/has poor grammar?

250 replies

denpark · 04/11/2022 23:46

Ok, so Im back in the dating game after being married for a long time and, whilst it's fun, I'm not rushing into anything in particular or desperate to date.

There's a guy who I've met who seems really nice in person. He asked me for my number and we've been texting a bit with a view to going on a date soon.

Thing is - his spelling and grammar are atrocious and it's really annoying me. Im a teacher so it's one of those things that gets under my skin.

Do I overlook it and give it a chance or will it be a thing that constantly winds me up? He could be dyslexic but if it translates into him not speaking properly (e.g. 'could of/should of' or 'pacifically' then it's going to drive me mad...)

He's so nice...!

OP posts:
Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:46

I'm aware of the irony of a lack of an apostrophe in my first sentence. God bless iPhones....

OP posts:
Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:47

And another later on. I may throw my phone out of the window! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
Thethingswedoforlove · 04/11/2022 23:49

Worth meeting him once to see if you have an intellectual connection?

ItSeesMe · 04/11/2022 23:51

My husband can't spell for toffee. He has an engineering degree and runs his own successful business. I'm not sure poor spelling means much on its own.

Hamster1111 · 04/11/2022 23:51

Before I had my daughter I would have agreed with you. But she is dyslexic and has totally changed my perspective. Don't let this put you off an otherwise lovely guy

Taradiddled · 04/11/2022 23:51

I couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t matter if he was a sex god and winner of the official Nicest Man in the World award, I could never shag a man who misused semi/colons.

Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:51

That's what I'm hoping will happen. He honestly seems so lovely. I know I'm being judge but it winds me up and I don't want that to affect things

OP posts:
Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:52

Hamster1111 · 04/11/2022 23:51

Before I had my daughter I would have agreed with you. But she is dyslexic and has totally changed my perspective. Don't let this put you off an otherwise lovely guy

I'm trying so so hard to push that critical teacher part of me to one side on this as he seems so nice!

OP posts:
Scrambledeggsontoasted · 04/11/2022 23:52

My DH is by his own admission 'not very bright'. His spelling and grammar are woeful. He left school with no qualifications.

He is everything the typical man on MN is not. He works full time, actually does 50% of domestic load and raising of the children and is a caring partner. He worked his way up with his employer and now earns more than everyone he went to school with who went to university. I'd sooner have a good man who can't spell than a twat of a man who can.

But this is MN, so you'll have plenty of people who will tell you to ditch him.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 04/11/2022 23:53

Overlook it.

In my experience, some very intelligent people have poor grammar and spelling for various reasons, but more importantly - some very lovely people do, too.

And sure, it still winds me up. But because they are clever they can laugh it off, and/or because they are nice, it’s part of poking gentle fun/a running joke, etc. Rather than picking at details that do my head in.

Pitterpatterofrain · 04/11/2022 23:53

My DH also has a master's and a very highly paid engineering job and is terrible at spelling and poor grammar.

If your potential date is not as shallow as you I hope he runs for the hills. 😂
You sound bloody awful.

Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:53

Taradiddled · 04/11/2022 23:51

I couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t matter if he was a sex god and winner of the official Nicest Man in the World award, I could never shag a man who misused semi/colons.

That's the part of myself I'm arguing with right now. It's like there's a devil in my shoulder whispering criticism.

OP posts:
Emerald4512 · 04/11/2022 23:54

I'm also a teacher and also thought this three years ago. He's currently snoring next to me, with our 9 month old baby boy in the next room 💙 and we're getting married next year. I just take the p* out of him now for it.

Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:54

Scrambledeggsontoasted · 04/11/2022 23:52

My DH is by his own admission 'not very bright'. His spelling and grammar are woeful. He left school with no qualifications.

He is everything the typical man on MN is not. He works full time, actually does 50% of domestic load and raising of the children and is a caring partner. He worked his way up with his employer and now earns more than everyone he went to school with who went to university. I'd sooner have a good man who can't spell than a twat of a man who can.

But this is MN, so you'll have plenty of people who will tell you to ditch him.

Your DH sounds lovely.
I married the twat who could spell...!

OP posts:
Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:55

Pitterpatterofrain · 04/11/2022 23:53

My DH also has a master's and a very highly paid engineering job and is terrible at spelling and poor grammar.

If your potential date is not as shallow as you I hope he runs for the hills. 😂
You sound bloody awful.

I'm honestly not shallow. It's just that one thing that drives me mad and I'm trying to give my head a wobble (why I posted on here, I suppose, as I knew people would do it for me!)

OP posts:
Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:56

Emerald4512 · 04/11/2022 23:54

I'm also a teacher and also thought this three years ago. He's currently snoring next to me, with our 9 month old baby boy in the next room 💙 and we're getting married next year. I just take the p* out of him now for it.

That's so lovely!

OP posts:
howdoyougethingsdone · 04/11/2022 23:56

I've always hated bad spelling.

My daughter was then diagnosed with severe dyslexia and I have seen first hand how it has held her back so much in life and has crushed her confidence throughout her school years.

I'd hate to feel someone didn't want to date her because of it too!

ArcaneWireless · 04/11/2022 23:57

The devil on your shoulder could do with an arse meets boot scenario.

RedWingBoots · 04/11/2022 23:58

Meet up with him.

If you click you click then do everything to limit him writing to you, and if you don't click then move on to the next guy.

Thing is before OLD and smart phones you wouldn't have found out he couldn't write until about 5-10 dates in if you met him and clicked.

Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:58

howdoyougethingsdone · 04/11/2022 23:56

I've always hated bad spelling.

My daughter was then diagnosed with severe dyslexia and I have seen first hand how it has held her back so much in life and has crushed her confidence throughout her school years.

I'd hate to feel someone didn't want to date her because of it too!

In my work I'm the most patient, caring and accommodating teacher and I always ensure that every child is able to achieve their best and I work so hard to help them with any difficulties. That's why I find my reaction to his texts so tricky. It bothers me and it shouldn't but I have a feeling I'll just keep being critical in my head. I'm actually really annoyed with myself.

OP posts:
PaniniHead · 04/11/2022 23:58

I wouldn’t progress forward. If his spelling/grammar annoys you now (and yes, that does make you shallow and pretty shitty from a teaching POV), then let him go to find someone who looks past that

Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:59

ArcaneWireless · 04/11/2022 23:57

The devil on your shoulder could do with an arse meets boot scenario.

It really does need one.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 04/11/2022 23:59

So, do you write off your students that can’t spell or have bad grammar?
.
…
.
…
.
…
Didn’t think so, now get over yourself and go on a date! 🙂

Original poster
denpark · 04/11/2022 23:59

RedWingBoots · 04/11/2022 23:58

Meet up with him.

If you click you click then do everything to limit him writing to you, and if you don't click then move on to the next guy.

Thing is before OLD and smart phones you wouldn't have found out he couldn't write until about 5-10 dates in if you met him and clicked.

He really seems like a thoroughly lovely man!

OP posts:
Original poster
denpark · 05/11/2022 00:00

saltinesandcoffeecups · 04/11/2022 23:59

So, do you write off your students that can’t spell or have bad grammar?
.
…
.
…
.
…
Didn’t think so, now get over yourself and go on a date! 🙂

Of course I don't (with my students). But adults who say things like 'could of' make me want to growl at them!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread