To not date someone who can't spell/has poor grammar?

[denpark]

Ok, so Im back in the dating game after being married for a long time and, whilst it's fun, I'm not rushing into anything in particular or desperate to date.

There's a guy who I've met who seems really nice in person. He asked me for my number and we've been texting a bit with a view to going on a date soon.

Thing is - his spelling and grammar are atrocious and it's really annoying me. Im a teacher so it's one of those things that gets under my skin.

Do I overlook it and give it a chance or will it be a thing that constantly winds me up? He could be dyslexic but if it translates into him not speaking properly (e.g. 'could of/should of' or 'pacifically' then it's going to drive me mad...)

He's so nice...!

i think id loose my mind if i got with some1 like that who could of learned better e nglish to sound gud liek.

its a core tenant of mine as a principaled person,

It would annoy me. I like properly constructed sentences and correct spelling. But...

Do you understand what he says in messages? If it's just badly written but understandable, give it a go. If it's completely incoherent, I'd have to give it a miss.

Invest in lovely phone calls instead of lots of chatty messages and ignore mistakes in functional messages.

My main attraction point for men is intelligence. The smarter the better. DH fits the bill. In person he is eloquent and writes well. He is also tech savvy.

his texts are quite amusing to read. A drunk caveman would do a better job typing on the tiny virtual keyboard.

A bloke I was seeing always opened conversations by saying "up to anything fascinating?" I think he thought it made him sound sophisticated, it actually drove me insane. I had to bite my hand before inevitably replying no.

I've tried to let this go with a couple of people I dated and I couldn't do it. I find it very stressful to read the mistakes, especially if they don't improve. It built up over time for me, so I'd hold my tongue until eventually I'd have to say (for example) 'FFS, how do you not know the difference between to and too' 😡🤬🤯.

I would also not dare someone who uses the term 'banter' in their dating profile or has a picture of them holding a fish!

Dare them to do what?

Might be worth a meet up - you're not making a lifelong commitment by going on a first date. In my experience though, if something annoys you about someone in the early stages, it doesn't go away.

I used to feel a bit like you and then I met my DP who is not the greatest at spelling and grammar. I realised it just doesn't matter and he has so many other skills and talents that I totally lack.

I am not particularly good at maths, but no one is judgemental about that, for example.

Spelling and grammar are skills, like everything else but for some reason they are afforded a moral judgement and people are looked down upon if they are not very good at them.

My partner has bad spelling and grammar and lazy casual pronunciation, it's generally not a problem, we don't communicate in writing a lot, but it does freak me out when it comes to bringing up our kids as I want them to be able to communicate correctly without it seeming foreign or an effort so I end up correcting him. If you might want kids think about how you'd deal with that!

🤣

This.

My DH has a masters degree and has worked his way up in his company to quite a high level. He is definitely smart. His spelling and grammar however are terrible and in speech he says things like you're instead of you've. I try to mostly ignore it though as his parents were not native English speakers and he studied things like accounting and economics whereas I studied languages and humanities. So there's always going to be differences between us. His positive qualities more than outweigh these issues. Though I may have to LTB if he doesn't learn how
to squeeze the toothpaste properly 🤣

But you split an infinitive in your message title or was that just for effect?
Anyway, give it a go and good luck!

It's not harsh to have preferences.

Should lesbians be compelled to date men who think they are women? No, they are allowed to prefer women.

It just depends how much of a dealbreaker it is for you OP.

I know I'd rather date a sexy man who is funny, caring, kind, a great cook and amazing in bed, but can't spell, than an Eton/Oxbridge educated, sexist, Tory voting twat who can spell 🤷🏻‍♀️

This.
Dyslexia?
“Could of “ written is annoying, but poor spelling does not mean a lack of intelligence, @denpark .

I'm a teacher too. It is the sort of thing that annoys me, but I would not let it put me off at least meeting. My previous partner sometimes made mistakes in typing,as I do too. He was a wonderful man and despite not being clever I the traditional sense,his words not mine,he was intellectually stimulating,kind and fun to be with. Sometimes I used to forget that English was not his first language so on the odd occasion he might say he wasn't as clever as me,I pointed out he was bi-lingual and more proficient in his second language than I was in mine. This new man may too have other talents🤣

Oops! A dodgy “ Your” in this message, Op!
We can all make errors, and “ Your” and “You’re” means you make SPAG errors, too!

This

You are not being judgmental. You speak and write properly.

Except for the grammatical errors in OP’s own posts, of course .

🙈.

👍🏻

🤣 it's always the same in these kind of threads!

Back in days of old, before online dating, you would have no idea he couldn't spell.

You may have fallen hook, line and sinker before you found out he didn't meet your writing standards.

Give the guy a break!

I'd sooner have a good man who can't spell than a twat of a man who can.

This. If spelling and grammar is so important to you then maybe move on and let this lovely man find someone not so shallow, who will appreciate his good qualities.

If your communication is by text doesn't his phone correct it?