Anyone else’s nursery pulling this stunt at the moment?

[Skinnermarink]

Let me preface this by saying I KNOW nursery work is hard and it’s long and it’s woefully underpaid. It was a long time ago but I’ve worked in one myself. I can totally see why there’s a recruitment crisis with it at the moment.

DS is one and we thought we’d found a good nursery. Long established, nice staff etc. I wasn’t keen on sending him at all because I wanted him at home with me but it’s not financially viable. So four days a week he goes, at a cost of £1100 a month.

The amount of calls we’ve had to go and collect him over something or other have ramped up in the past eight weeks to the point of ridiculousness. They include

-a temperature that we never managed to catch at home and he was completely well. That happed 3x
upset stomach that magically we never saw at home, but came with a 48 hour exclusion. This went on for weeks. At worst he had a few soft nappies, certainly nothing anyone could describe as diarrhoea. I eventually got a stool sample to clear him for this at their insistence before they’d have him back. He missed days and days of nursery for this.

Teething pain which meant he was ‘not himself’ (I didn’t collect for this, as he was playing, eating and drinking, and I told them I wasn’t going to collect for something as flimsy as this and they were welcome to give calpol)

a head injury that we had to come immediately for or they’d call an ambulance, threw myself into a taxi in sheer panic to find him running around with a tiny bump on his head, but they wanted me to take him home to be checked out and not return him for 24 hours. I’m not under reacting by the way, it really was in no way anything other than a typical toddler bump.

This week has been the final straw. He had his MMR vaccine last week and developed a few tiny spots- a side effect listed on the NHS website. They called and said we had to collect and he couldn’t return today unless a doctor cleared the ‘rash’.

Luckily our GP is fab and had him in this morning, cleared him in seconds with a note so I took him straight to nursery because I had to get to work. There were already 9 babies in the room, mine would take it to ten. 3 members of staff. They looked pissed off and a bit panicked and said he couldn’t come in unless I had a doctor’s clearance - which I produced. The manager was called down who said they had staff sickness but she would be covering herself until an agency worker arrived.

I felt shit leaving him to be honest but it’s no exaggeration to say our jobs have been on the line due to dropping things to pick him up, staying off with him at short notice etc. we’ve used practically all remaining annual leave we had for Christmas so that’s scuppered plans to visit family. We don’t have any outside help, it’s just us, no grandparents to call in an emergency etc.

So I want to know has anyone else been in this situation? I’m not being paranoid (although I did tell myself I was at first) and I honestly think they have to pick babies to send home to stay within the ratios and then hope they stay off the next day.

I’ll add that DS has been genuinely unwell with things on occasion and of course we’ve kept him off. But we are at our absolute limit now and have pissed hundreds up the wall on unnecessary pick ups and days off.

Think I have found an alternative setting and are looking on Monday, but they have no availability until January.

Iv not experienced that from nursery so based on you taking him in and there there not being enough staff, you are probably right.

This is why I went with a sensible childminder over a nursery. I’m a GP frequently pull my hair out over nurseries’ completely none evidence based policies (eg insisting on antibiotic eye drops for viral conjunctivitis). I feel sorry for parents

Childminders are like hen’s teeth around here, but we are seeing a lady on Monday (the location is a pain in the arse but willing to do it) and I’m just praying she has the days we need so we can give notice to the nursery.

Yeah I have definitely not experienced this. My son is beginning to walk and he’s constantly bumping his head. If they sent him home every time I’d never be in work!

I think your concern about ratios sounds valid and I’d be looking for a different setting too in your position.

Oh it certainly feels like it and I have said the above too. In the space of 3 weeks (15 days in nursery) in Oct my 1.5yr old was out for 9 days! Fml.

its 50/50 I think at ours. They say she’s sick or hot then spends 2 days at home being absolutely fine and like a whirlwind, no sick or temp or they say she’s off her food. Its teeth. What are we supposed to do 🤷🏼‍♀️

working parent life is so hard. You have my sympathy 😣

Maybe, just maybe...next time ask for the manager and call them out on the ratio of staff to kids when you collect him.
Ask if other parents are being inconvenienced because they are understaffed or is it just you.
Point out that if they don't want your money...
Hopefully the alternative you find is better than the current situation you have. 🤞

Yup - we had exactly this with exactly what you describe albeit years ago now as mine are teens. In the end I would refuse to go (worked in London, no one to pick up etc) and they gave up asking and kept her in. Of course we would have gone for an emergency or sent a grandparent but I was sick of ‘soft stools’, ‘not herself’, ‘high temp’ which materialised to nothing once home.

Obviously nurseries do have responsibilities toward infection control and protecting the health of both the poorly child and the other children but it really does sound like this particular nursery is taking it too far. Small children get poorly and unless it's something infectious (there is a health agency list of illnesses that they must exclude for) or they're actually unwell in themselves then there's no need to be off nursery. I work in a school, KS1 so age 7 and under, and bugs are part and parcel of it all. No temperature, no D&V, no communicable illness, and happy in themselves is well enough to be there.

a few years ago nursery called to say they thought my oldest had broken her leg so I quickly went to get her, turns out it was pins and needles where she’d sat on it and she. Was fine. Just Ridiculous

They are taking the piss. My daughter has been poorly but they’ve not called me to collect her. They are very pragmatic and sensible! I’d definitely look at other nurseries.

We have had one 'sensible' nursery ie fully staffed and willing to give calpol and muddle through until the end of the day and one where they called at the drop of a hat and wouldn't take them if they needed calpol, even for teething pain, without a doctors note (ffs, brilliant way to pointlessly clog up GP's time). So they definitely do vary in their approach to these things, so there may be other better nurseries local to you.

On the other hand I wish I had just chosen a childminder instead. I found the whole environment better in every way up until they were ready for pre-school. If you can find a good one, go for it.

That's not great. Mine were in nursery years ago and they would give calpol and ibuprofen and strip them to bring temp down only then they would call if it didn't come down

It sounds like the nursery doesn’t have enough staff to cope when one is off sick etc. they then must play a game of “whose child shall we send home today”. It’s so frequent though that you could even question if their business tactic is to book in one more child than staffing allows and send one home every day if nobody is off sick! I’m sure that’s not the case but …

Yeah, our previous nursery went through a phase of this when they were short staffed last year. It's beyond annoying! Other parents experienced it too so they are probably not just singling you out. As you are leaving in Jan there's not much you can do but try speaking to other parents at pick up to see if they think the same. I feel for you, it's an awful situation to be in and it feels so unfair when you are paying so much.

That sounds totally shit op and I’m glad you’re looking to leave. My kids’ nursery has never done this.

Oh my god that is ridiculous!

it’s the absolute lack of common sense and a ‘computer says no’ attitude with a lot of it. And the fact that they play on my working mum guilt a lot as I think I was too soft in the beginning to come and collect when it really wasn’t necessary.

I know I’m biased but DS is really no trouble, he’s sunny, eats and sleeps ok, plays, potters around…. It upsets me that they just seem to want rid of him constantly, especially when we are paying an eye watering sum each month for his care.

I used to use a CM and then had to collect DS when the CM was unwell as well as all the reasons OP has listed so it was double whammy.

I think it’s got better since covid, we’ve had a run of bad luck with illness but generally find my nursery pretty sensible. The thing that irritates me is them not being able to give calpol - often it’s teething and they cope just fine with some calpol. The CM would give calpol if it was clear DS was teething.

The bump on the head business sounds especially OTT. If DS hadn’t been there that long I’d consider looking elsewhere.

This is why we went with a child minder. I'd heard too many stories of children being turned away from nurseries with any little thing.

I hope your meeting with the potential minder goes well and you can get your son out of that nursery soon! :)

This isn't acceptable. I've heard this about nurseries so often and it's one of the things which put my off sending DS. We use a childminder instead and she's fab, never had any issues and she's never called me to collect him. She's so flexible aswell.

I've not experienced this - but one nursery DS was in refused to administer calpol etc unless with a prescription & refused to apply/reapply sunscreen
Thankfully Covid happened & shortly after he was old enough for preschool so sent him there instead.
A friend has her DS at a nursery that sounds similar to yours - calling at the barest thing & costs a fortune.
Get out as soon as you can.

This really highlights how difficult it is for nurseries to make ends meet.
they need a 1:3 ratio for children under 2. But if they get 1100 pounds per child per month, this means that the fees for 3 children (3300 per month) needs to cover

• salary of 1 staff member
• Share of rent, utilities, insurance
• Share of toys, equipment, materials
• Share of any management & admin overhead (systems, payroll, etc)

can’t be easy to pay a decent wage! government not parents should be fixing this though.

My daughter has been going to nursery for 1.5 years and never once been sent home! Only problems we had were during COVID there was a few odd days with staff absence that they couldn't cover so asked any children that could to stay home.

How utterly ridiculous.
My mother worked in early years for over 20 years and she always knew when a child was too poorly to be there and when they were fine to sit it out until collection time. Parents have to work and can't just down tools when it is not an emergency.

Definitely not normal IME. DD has been at nursery for two years and I've never had to collect her for anything.