Anyone else’s nursery pulling this stunt at the moment?

[Skinnermarink]

Let me preface this by saying I KNOW nursery work is hard and it’s long and it’s woefully underpaid. It was a long time ago but I’ve worked in one myself. I can totally see why there’s a recruitment crisis with it at the moment.

DS is one and we thought we’d found a good nursery. Long established, nice staff etc. I wasn’t keen on sending him at all because I wanted him at home with me but it’s not financially viable. So four days a week he goes, at a cost of £1100 a month.

The amount of calls we’ve had to go and collect him over something or other have ramped up in the past eight weeks to the point of ridiculousness. They include

-a temperature that we never managed to catch at home and he was completely well. That happed 3x
upset stomach that magically we never saw at home, but came with a 48 hour exclusion. This went on for weeks. At worst he had a few soft nappies, certainly nothing anyone could describe as diarrhoea. I eventually got a stool sample to clear him for this at their insistence before they’d have him back. He missed days and days of nursery for this.

Teething pain which meant he was ‘not himself’ (I didn’t collect for this, as he was playing, eating and drinking, and I told them I wasn’t going to collect for something as flimsy as this and they were welcome to give calpol)

a head injury that we had to come immediately for or they’d call an ambulance, threw myself into a taxi in sheer panic to find him running around with a tiny bump on his head, but they wanted me to take him home to be checked out and not return him for 24 hours. I’m not under reacting by the way, it really was in no way anything other than a typical toddler bump.

This week has been the final straw. He had his MMR vaccine last week and developed a few tiny spots- a side effect listed on the NHS website. They called and said we had to collect and he couldn’t return today unless a doctor cleared the ‘rash’.

Luckily our GP is fab and had him in this morning, cleared him in seconds with a note so I took him straight to nursery because I had to get to work. There were already 9 babies in the room, mine would take it to ten. 3 members of staff. They looked pissed off and a bit panicked and said he couldn’t come in unless I had a doctor’s clearance - which I produced. The manager was called down who said they had staff sickness but she would be covering herself until an agency worker arrived.

I felt shit leaving him to be honest but it’s no exaggeration to say our jobs have been on the line due to dropping things to pick him up, staying off with him at short notice etc. we’ve used practically all remaining annual leave we had for Christmas so that’s scuppered plans to visit family. We don’t have any outside help, it’s just us, no grandparents to call in an emergency etc.

So I want to know has anyone else been in this situation? I’m not being paranoid (although I did tell myself I was at first) and I honestly think they have to pick babies to send home to stay within the ratios and then hope they stay off the next day.

I’ll add that DS has been genuinely unwell with things on occasion and of course we’ve kept him off. But we are at our absolute limit now and have pissed hundreds up the wall on unnecessary pick ups and days off.

Think I have found an alternative setting and are looking on Monday, but they have no availability until January.

I read your thread with skepticism, but actually that does found bad. I'd thinking the nursery was pulling a fast one too.

Not cost effective for one child.

I know people who have done it for 3+ children or did nanny shares when they had 2 children, particularly when they worked irregular/long hours.

A nanny for the hours we need would cost is double and unless ofsted registered we couldn’t get the tax free childcare discount either, so not an option.

My niece works in a nursery. She was on the apprentice rate of £4.50ph for ages, even though she's 27.

When she completed her final qualification, they told her they'd probably have to make her redundant. Then a more senior person left, she took their place and now earns NMW. She's in charge of a whole room of kids, and all the other staff, approx 4 or 5, are "apprentices" and on £4.50ph. It's the same in all the other rooms at her nursery, a qualified staff member on NMW, and everyone else is an apprentice.

I think it's bloody outrageous to pay NMW to people who are responsible for very small children, plus managing and training staff. That's a huge responsibility.

This sounds so stressful. I'm just about out of the nursery years now, but a colleague was saying the same thing to me earlier this week.

I can completely see that the funding crisis in early years, plus the way covid has shifted cultural norms around infectious diseases, leads to this outcome.

And being less available to pick up must go completely against your heart and mind if nursery are saying your child needs to come home, right? I can't imagine taking that call and saying "sorry no, can't come".

Not the same thing but I had a period of time where my previously-reliable childminder was going through some unpredictable and unmanaged health stuff which meant I had to drop everything and collect my child in the middle of the working day several times. Really stressful. Luckily it didn't cost me my job but it certainly impacted the way many colleagues saw me, and I believe has significantly hindered my career in the medium term. I feel like I'm still earning back my reputation at work.

This sounds very stressful. The first few months at nursery are always difficult and they do generally get sent home more than you ever thought would be possible... that bit does settle eventually. But tbh it sounds like you have lost trust if you believe they are fabricating illnesses to manage their staffing... so I think I'd be tempted to look elsewhere. You can't really put your child somewhere you don't believe in....

That is ridiculous, op. Nursery allows kids in with teething symptoms (my son gets watery eyes and a slight runny nose and runny nappies). Only obvious things they stay home like temperature and really blocked up etc.

Yep! Last week they called me just to tell me DD had one runny nappy. They must do it on the offchance some parents insist on coming to collect based on that.

Lots of little measure have started to creep in which are obviously there to take off the burden from the staff.

It is worrying and tbh I am glad we have less than two years of private nursery left.

I have a 4 and a 1 year old and have been using the same nursery consistently since first born was 9 months old. I have never been called to collect either of them for any reason.

What you describe is not normal from my experience - my workplace would certainly not have been understanding in this situation so I would be looking elsewhere too!

My sister found this with my niece when she started at a nursery last December. Repeatedly being sent home with a temperature, basically every week and she only attended three days a week. My sister is a GP and brother in law a consultant anaesthetist - neither of whom could just drop things and run to pick her up at the drop of a hat! Luckily they have grandparents nearby who could collect. And the mysterious temperatures never seemed to still be around by the time they got home and took them again. Plus y'know, doctors, a GP can tell when a toddler is ill. After a couple of months of this they changed to a friend-recommended local childminder, who is great, and my niece has had the odd thing like HF&M but no more random being sent home with a temperature.

This sounds ridiculous. My two are long out of nursery but I don’t remember it being like this. The odd unnecessary call out yes but this is beyond.

Our nursery have never called us unreasonably - but they have had staffing issues. There was a period after Covid where they often had at least one agency staff member in and a good few months where we were being called routinely because they had to close early, or getting short notice that they'd be closed for a day or two because they couldn't meet the legal staff ratios due to illness/people awaiting Covid test results. It was frustrating but they were at least honest about what was going on!

Yes we had this a lot especially during covid. Sent home with a temperature 7 times but no temperature once he got home. Also excuses like he's not himself he's crying a lot (that is himself he's very fussy and sensitive) or I think he's in pain (happened a lot when they were short staffed or it was raining). A few times he was genuinely unwell but for a while we were being rang at least weekly. He's recently moved to a new preschool and no issues so far.

I’d be pissed off and look elsewhere yeah.

I used a nursery for about 4 years (2 kids) and don’t recall being called to collect, or told I couldn’t bring them in, ever, other than totally understandable situations like proper d&v, chicken pox and in those cases I made the call, not them

have they been charging you for all this time they have NOT been looking after him?

our nursery were really good about letting us swap days when they couldn’t come in due to illness etc. so we never missed out financially.

I had a childminder who pulled this shit. My daughter didn't have solid poo till she was 3. It was totally normal. The amount of times they tried to get me to collect her for it.

Or my son. He apparently was not himself constantly. Do you think at a certain point they would realise actually that was himself? And maybe he'd be less grotty if they made more effort.

We pulled them out. I actually lost my job over the lack of childcare, but we could manage which was lucky. Some settings just don't want to do the work.

That is outrageous OP. I always used a childminder we both loved and never had the slightest problem.

Years ago my DS's kindergarten was like this!

I think they are risk averse because they will get blamed for it.

I would stop collecting early on Wednesdays and pretend you’re working.
It sounds like they know you’re available so are looking for any excuse to get you to collect early.

I’m sorry - I voted YABU totally by accident! That sounds totally excessive, and I’d be looking for find a new nursery.

I feel you on the ‘soft nappies’ thing, my son‘s nursery were very OTT on this and we had to get a stool sample done on more than one occasion - never found anything.

I've had the same thing with the head injury. It was explained to me that after a knock to the head children need to be monitored closely and they didn't have the resources to do that with so many children to look after. I also think having to collect them for a temperature is fair enough especially since covid times.

The teething thing is really silly and stomach bugs usually have other symptoms like lethargy sickness and being off of food etc.. so sounds like they were over the top about those things. The rash thing I would expect them to point it out to you but again, a doctors note is over the top. I had to keep mine off for impetigo and didn't need a doctors note to go back.

I don’t recall a day ever between three children mind were ever sent home. If there was anything it was more at pick up I’d be told they had bumped their head but a cold pack had been applied, or a call to allow calpol. These where big name multiple nursery sites nursery though so highly likely they pulled staff from other sites when needed.

There’s a difference between a loose nappy and diarrhoea.

Yes that’s ridiculous. My nursery is so pragmatic - they often call if DS has had a bad bump (but just to tell me so it doesn’t get lost at handover). They call when he’s poorly (temp or sick) but usually offer to give a dose of something and give it an hour to see if I need to go (if anything, they’re too keen to keep him). Our old nursery was also pretty good but did insist on collection when a temp / sickness occurred (fair enough).

I've had this with a childminder and nursery. Had to pick up and keep off for 48h for an upset stomach with no sign of anything being wrong at home, same with a temp that they didnt have at home. Don't think there is much you can do about it unfortunately.

I think nurseries have changed a lot over the years. At the nursery I send my son to they don't apply suncream, don't administer calpol and don't wipe them after they have been to the toilet, even if they have soiled their underwear.
But they are good with illnesses & bumps. If he's feeling under the weather I just tell them beforehand, if he bumps his head they put a sticker on him and give me an accident report slip of the bump at the end of the day.
They have only called me to collect him once because of a very high temperature.
Sounds like they are making excuses.