Anyone else’s nursery pulling this stunt at the moment?

[Skinnermarink]

Let me preface this by saying I KNOW nursery work is hard and it’s long and it’s woefully underpaid. It was a long time ago but I’ve worked in one myself. I can totally see why there’s a recruitment crisis with it at the moment.

DS is one and we thought we’d found a good nursery. Long established, nice staff etc. I wasn’t keen on sending him at all because I wanted him at home with me but it’s not financially viable. So four days a week he goes, at a cost of £1100 a month.

The amount of calls we’ve had to go and collect him over something or other have ramped up in the past eight weeks to the point of ridiculousness. They include

-a temperature that we never managed to catch at home and he was completely well. That happed 3x
upset stomach that magically we never saw at home, but came with a 48 hour exclusion. This went on for weeks. At worst he had a few soft nappies, certainly nothing anyone could describe as diarrhoea. I eventually got a stool sample to clear him for this at their insistence before they’d have him back. He missed days and days of nursery for this.

Teething pain which meant he was ‘not himself’ (I didn’t collect for this, as he was playing, eating and drinking, and I told them I wasn’t going to collect for something as flimsy as this and they were welcome to give calpol)

a head injury that we had to come immediately for or they’d call an ambulance, threw myself into a taxi in sheer panic to find him running around with a tiny bump on his head, but they wanted me to take him home to be checked out and not return him for 24 hours. I’m not under reacting by the way, it really was in no way anything other than a typical toddler bump.

This week has been the final straw. He had his MMR vaccine last week and developed a few tiny spots- a side effect listed on the NHS website. They called and said we had to collect and he couldn’t return today unless a doctor cleared the ‘rash’.

Luckily our GP is fab and had him in this morning, cleared him in seconds with a note so I took him straight to nursery because I had to get to work. There were already 9 babies in the room, mine would take it to ten. 3 members of staff. They looked pissed off and a bit panicked and said he couldn’t come in unless I had a doctor’s clearance - which I produced. The manager was called down who said they had staff sickness but she would be covering herself until an agency worker arrived.

I felt shit leaving him to be honest but it’s no exaggeration to say our jobs have been on the line due to dropping things to pick him up, staying off with him at short notice etc. we’ve used practically all remaining annual leave we had for Christmas so that’s scuppered plans to visit family. We don’t have any outside help, it’s just us, no grandparents to call in an emergency etc.

So I want to know has anyone else been in this situation? I’m not being paranoid (although I did tell myself I was at first) and I honestly think they have to pick babies to send home to stay within the ratios and then hope they stay off the next day.

I’ll add that DS has been genuinely unwell with things on occasion and of course we’ve kept him off. But we are at our absolute limit now and have pissed hundreds up the wall on unnecessary pick ups and days off.

Think I have found an alternative setting and are looking on Monday, but they have no availability until January.

I have no advice but I read your post and just wanted to say that sounds really hard

I can't believe they're putting you in that position and I really hope you find a better arrangement soon! I literally have a SAHP and WFH and it's still a nightmare covering 3 DCs potential illness or incidents plus our own, so my heart really goes out to you

I had a childminder like this. It tended to happen on days when he was the only kid there, so would mean a paid day off for her. She kept banging on about policies and protecting her business, but she was not protecting my child's education and our employment. Thankfully out of the 4 CMs we had she was the only one, the others were excellent.

Current nursery doesn't do this. They tell us if he has been loose with BM or is feeling off/had a fall, but they monitor first and only drag us out if he is really ill or can't be settled after a long period. I think the nursery needs to be changed or you could just try putting your foot down until they try it with someone else. If your job is a risk I would explain to your work that your nursery appear to be over reacting so you are looking elsewhere, and let the nursery know why they have lost your business too. It isnt fair on you or your child either.

Re: administering medication only with a prescription.

Our council policy states this, too. Why? The dosage and times written on the label correspond to the child's needs. We can only follow those instructions, not those of parent.

Sadly I have had experience of parents wanting to over medicalise their child and bring in over the counter meds or even prescribed meds but wanting a much higher dose to be given to their child. It is safer for all to just follow the doctor's prescription dosage. Nothing to stop parents or carers coming in to administer medication for their child.

Have you posted before a few months ago?
if not, someone else’s definitely had the same experience as you because I remember the thread.

Understand your pain OP! Although your examples do seem extreme. My DS apparently does lose nappies every single week (it's a maximum of 3 and he's out). I always breathe a sign of relief if he makes a full week.
I would definitely visit afew other nurseries/childminders if possible

The nappy thing seems a bit over sensitive. Our nursery always said two loose nappies before they'd call. With babies one dodgy nappy could easily just be one of those things whereas two was more likely to be something of concern.

I've only had to pick up DD twice in 3 years and both times she was off her food so they checked her temp and it was high (because she usually eats for England so being off her food was always notable!). She was then off for a couple of days because they were right, she was coming down with something.

She's been in before "under the weather" but not fully ill and they're fine with that. They kept an eye on her and I made sure to pick her up earlier than usual so she wasn't too tired.

Our nursery are very pragmatic that kids will be under the weather but it ill enough for parents to stay off work to keep them home. Temps and sickness etc are obviously reasons to send home/keep off though.

Your daughter has been poorly and they don't send her home? Why not? Do they want all the staff and children to get ill too?
OP they are taking the piss if they're calling you for that and so often. Until you can move him ask for evidence before you pick him up. Photos of themometre reading or whatever. They can fudge the results but once they realise you are not just going to give in and pick him up they will probably leave you alone.
I work in a nursery and we never do this. Manager is not in numbers so if staff are off sick she covers. I'm surprised the nursery has any children if they behave like that.

When I had a childminder she gave my son a sickness bug then wouldn’t have him despite not having any other children to look after and already having had the bug 😂

I've worked in a nursery for many years, we would never do this. There has been the odd occasion where we've sent a baby/ toddler home after vomiting or loose nappies then it doesn't happen again at home. We've also sent home for rashes which turn out to be nothing. But we're just following our policy, certainly not making things up.

I’ve had the opposite! Big head injury requiring stitches at a&e (I took him - not them) and they didn’t even bother to ring me or let me know he’d hurt himself

I'm surprised there are nurseries happy to give calpol on the parents' say-so. I've used two (outstanding, local authority) nurseries and two (good, v experienced) childminders over the past 10 years, and none would give calpol without prescription. However, they were always fantastic at administering actually prescribed medicine (one child with eczema, the other with asthma).

IMO a child unwell or uncomfortable enough to need calpol isn't well enough to be in childcare. It sucks but it is part of the deal for working parents.

I have heard of this happening around here with some other nurseries. Luckily not mine - they are pretty good about not sending home. Just had one call for generally not being well and they had given her chocolate ice cream to see if she perked up but it didn’t work. So I think that one was justified!!

I'm an old old former nursery nurse and we could not usually get hold of the parents if the children were sick,pre mobile phones had its advantages! We did notice how they were when they arrived though,anyone obviously running a fever or had diarrhoea was sent home. We spent some time cuddling poorly children,and catching their bugs unfortunately.

For times when the call to collect early is for a temperature - could you ask for the temperature to be re-taken when you get there ? And if it's normal, leave the child there, collecting at normal time. OK I know there are lots of reasons why this would be a pain in the neck to do and do be upsetting for the child. But to make a point to the nursery staff ? You could take the child home, but insist of bringing them in the next day / not supplying a GP note.

But then you have parents dropping them off saying they are a little “off colour” but absolutely fine and practically running away before the calpol wears off then ignoring staff calling to get their very poorly child who probably has infected the whole nursery with whatever ….

Ex childminder here, still talk to many locally. This has come up a few times, a local nursery were short staffed so deliberately sending well kids home with illness to bring them into ratio. I know because 2 members of staff are known to me and other childminders who told us that it was constant! Some days they would send home multiple children to bring them back into ratio. It's awful for parents.

Are you for real?? Why on earth would you expect a childminder to look after your kid who has a stomach bug?

I've posted on MN about this before - a couple of my friends had the exact same issue with a nursery in our town. They'd call up and say "oh he's really not himself" only for her to rush out of work to the nursery and find him happily playing! Absolutely horrendous.

No, our nursery are not like this and I’ve had kids in nursery for 5 years so far.

I hear similar things from some of
my friends, some places are so strict. We have a childminder and I don’t think we’ve ever been asked to keep our son at home, maybe once. What are parents meant to do if the crèche is sending kids home at the drop of a hat??

I worked in nurseries for 12 years, this is not normal! Of the things you've listed we'd only have sent your child home for the high temp. If the "diarrhoea" was only a loose nappy, he wouldn't have been sent home. A courtesy call for the other things yes, but not an immediate collection! Crazy!

We had sort of similar with the childminder. She didn't like having DS if I wasn't working, and so she would call about 10am and say he wasn't himself.

I quickly got wise and made sure I always dropped him off in office clothes and then went home to change!

She gave it to him, ergo had already had it so yes I am for real.

See if I really thought a childminder was doing this I’d remove my child on principle. If she resented caring for your child and was dishonest to the point of almost trying to ‘cheat’ you out of the service you were paying for, I wouldn’t like to think of her being with the child the whole time.

I agree a daily nanny is double the cost. It is just that if like most people someone is likely to have a second baby shortly after the first and be back at work full time then there would be double the cost anyway at the point baby no. 2 arrives so sometimes a daily nanny is a feasible option compared with 2 full time nursery places.