Wtf! JLL married his 13 year old Cousin

[Paris2023]

BBC article

why are all these ‘celebs’ offering condolences to a pedophile?

I heard a tragic radio programme about young British women who met GIs in the war and went back with them to America. The women in that programme ended up living in remote communities, were desperately lonely, had no way back and little way of keeping in touch with friends and family back home. One said before she left the UK she broke down crying in front of her Dad saying she didn’t want to go. He told her she had made her bed and had to. So she went.

Exactly. Cultural differences don’t make something okay.

Old news. Been well known for many many years and that’s why his career didn’t reach the heights it should have.

Third cousins is a pretty big distance though. Many people wouldn't even know their third cousins if they passed them in the street.

I thought everybody knew about that. He brought her here and it didn't go down well. It wasn't unusual amongst country people like Jerry Lee. Elvis brought his 14 year old girlfriend, Priscilla, to live with him in his home at Gracelands when he finished his National Service - with her parents' agreement! She went to school from there. He married her when she was 21 and he 28. Loretta Lynn the C&W singer was married at 14. The culture was quite different back then.
In Mexico people can marry at 12.
A paedophile is someone who desires sex with a child who has not reached puberty.

Erm how? He certainly wasn't flying the plane?

The word paedophilia is doing a lot of heavy lifting on this thread.

Paedophilia is a disorder characterised by a sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children. It doesn't mean anyone who sleeps with a teenager.

It's extremely distateful, but what JLL / Elvis did by marrying teenagers is not paedophilia.

Dismissing and ignoring this archaic and extremely sexist behaviour towards young girls because it’s ‘cultural’ is wrong. There are still communities in the UK that remove young girls from the education system as soon as they legally can, effectively binding them to the confines of said communities to keep traditions continuing.

It’s depressing when you witness first hand someone who can not read or write simply because they were deprived of the chance to learn such vital life skills as a means to ensure continuity of traditions, even worse is the conditioning of said girls to believe this is a normal way of life. Marrying young girls off is a shameful travesty that is ignored far too often because addressing it head on would be an inconvenience.

When he brought her over here on his tour and introduced her has his wife, the British public was having none of it. I think most people knew it was off, even then.
He’d already had two failed marriages too! And four since, two of whom died suspiciously.

Watch the clip posted earlier of JLL and his 13 year old “bride”. No one could say that she wasn’t a child.

No one.

If someone posted a thread on Mumsnet saying their 13/14 year old was “dating” a man in their 20s that man would quite rightly be called a paedophile.

We need to be less apologetic about these things.

The marrying and relationships with these young under age girls is vile. I think it's always been frowned upon in most circles, but certainly in some parts (both geographically and status wise) is]t was much more accepted in the past. Sadly rock and pop stars have always seemed to be able to 'get away with' relationships with much younger girls. I do think that acceptance has changed a lot these days, fortunately, amongst both adults and the young people themselves.

It's also not pedophilia - that's an interest in pre-pubescent children, so up to about 11y. Hebophilia is an interest in pubescent (around 11-14) and ephebophilia is an interest in mid-to-late teens, around* 14 to* 17 year olds.

I suspect the latter is far more common than it should be in many adult men, even these days.

Firstly, I think it absolutely is possible to separate the artist from the art. There are plenty of people out there with shady characters and excellent talent. In some people’s eyes their character takes away from their talent but others are able to separate the two.

Secondly, we might not like it now, but things were different back then. And while now we look back with hindsight and judge, when something is the norm and accepted we can’t judge that in the same way. We judge by today’s standards, but standards 70 years ago were different, whether we like it or not.

And to an extent PP is right. There are still some cultures where relationships and marriages at a younger age are seen as acceptable. Do we judge that to be wrong? Absolutely. But equally there are cultures where sex under the age of 18 is legal and where they equally would judge us for having a legal age of 16.

So does that make our culture wrong? If Andrew had had sex in the UK it wouldn’t have been considered illegal because she was over the age of consent. However, because it was in a country where the age of consent was 18 we have branded him a child abuser. Now don’t get me wrong, Andrew is a sleaze of the highest order, but the implication of what he did is different not because of what he did, but because of where he did it.

Oh and, people need to stop referring to someone who has sex with a teenager as a paedophile. They’re not. Paedophiles are interested in prepubescent children, which while still fairly unpalatable, a teenager is not.

Child marriages are very common in the US now.
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/200-000-children-married-us-15-years-child-marriage-child-brides-new-jersey-chris-christie-a7830266.html

In terms of emotional maturity I'd agree, but in terms of physical sexual maturity then no. And yes, a 13 year old is a child, but an attraction to a 13 year old is unlikely to fall into the paedophilia definition, which is characterised by an attraction to pre-pubescent children.

It's not about being apologetic, it's about being accurate about naming what's going on. We can't change the definition of something because we don't like it.

What JLL etc did was extremely wrong (by modern standards and to an extent the standards of the day) but that does not make it paedophilia.

Bill Wyman having a sexual relationship with a 14 year old doesn’t seem to have harmed his career.

Oh I think it does. And so, thankfully, so many other people. I think when we start getting into the realms of disregarding a 13/14/15 etc year old as being a child - either physically or mentally, or both- it enables paedophiles to justify their actions. I accept perhaps the definition isn’t as simple as that but morally it should be, and it’s very poor taste on a parenting forum when we’re even having discussions about this to somehow suggest it’s slightly better than being a paedophile to have a relationship with a young teenager. It isn’t.

I was groomed as a 13 year old by someone in their 20s which is why I feel so strongly about it. In my head I was madly in love with him and felt very adult. I am 42 now and look back and find it absolutely disgusting.

The possibility that he murdered two of his later wives is even more disturbing. I’m in my 50s and had no idea.

I'm not suggesting it's better. I'm saying the use of the word is incorrect. Neither have I disregarded a 13 year old as a child.

If you think it does make someone a paedophile then you don't understand the definition of the word paedophilia.

Stick your fingers in your ears as much as you want. He was a dirty pervert. No amount of number 1 records will change that.

I am reading that no one on here is saying it’s better or okay to have sexual interest in a teen than a younger child, but the definition of a paedophile is sexual attraction to a child who has not reached puberty. Someone dating a teen is still very much a sex offender, probably predatory and a groomer too - but technically not a paedophile. The wording is important.

on another thought, David Bowie is alleged to have slept with a 14 year old and so many people ime just will not hear it, or they just attempt to justify it. So frustrating when people pick and choose who is a sex offender and who ‘lived in a different age’!

If it wasn’t Priscilla and Elvis but 2 ordinary people down the road, wouldn’t we be saying she was groomed as a teenager and that would be clouding her judgement now

How old was Paul walker, when he met his g/f ?

Wonder if we went to the same school, as that description, and timeline matches someone I know too!

Rather than discussing what flavour of pervert they are, shall we just agree that they are nonces.

Just because something is part of a particular culture doesn’t mean it is right or that everybody in that culture willingly accepts it or has to. “Grabbing” is also part of traveller culture for example which the girls absolutely hate and are terrified of.