CM payments and cost of living

[Tuniplobby]

As far as I know the CM calculator doesn't take living in high cost areas such as London into consideration?

My friend's ex has recently gone through CMS and he now has to pay about £40 more a month which doesn't seem much but is the difference in affording the petrol and cost of feeding the children when he has them one weekend a month (6 hour round trip to collect and again to drop off) he moved back in with his parents who live in London after the split, over a hundred miles away from the children as he couldn't afford to private rent and had debts.

His ex wanted him to take them more weekends too but there's no chance he can even visit now which has devastated him.

Is an extra £40 really worth your children not seeing their dad just to get what you're 'entitled to'?

...so their mum, who now has the children almost 100% of the time because he went running bath to mummy and daddy, somehow isn't feeling the pinch with the cost of living crisis? Sure.

If he's living with his parents surely his costs are basically nothing?

If he has them more he can pay less...

I think your friend needs to pull his weight and step up.

ODFOD 🙄

He's still paying off the wedding debt and she wanted a huge wedding, so it's thousands still.

He has no qualifications so is on a low wage.
Rent to his parents, food, debt repayments, parking, car insurance, petrol etc to get to work, what he was paying for CM already left him with nothing at the end of the month.

Not sure what that means?

Nobody's going to condone his poor choices here. He can train and get a better job. He could've asked for the wedding costs to be split jointly during their divorce. He could've said no we can't afford the wedding cost during it. He has minimal costs living at his parents' and pandering his kids 1 weekend a month.

You have to pay 16% of your gross wages for two children. I'm struggling to understand how if he's living with his parents he can't pay this and see his children.

Can you suggest he takes the coach in to wherever she lives and stays at a hostel or something overnight? A six hour round trip over the weekend is probably exhausting on the children and him doing double.

Your aware the costs of EVERYTHING WILL BE rising for her too?

Costs are going up for mom too. If all she is getting from him is the minimum child maintenance required from a low wage worker, she is going to be covering far more than her fair share of the children’s expenses. She also has to deal with balancing earning and caring for the children while he is free to work any hours.

any ire you feel should be towards a man who thinks this is acceptable.

There is no way that this man is paying a fair amount of what it costs to raise his children even with the extra puny 40 quid. And he doesn't do anywhere near a fair amount of the work involved either. Shame on him.

He chose to move away.grom his children. The mother has to look after children most of the time single handed. Maybe she can't feed them with out that £40.

Work more hours few more hours per week? Job training? Budget? Side hustle?

Roughly works out like this...
£1500 a month.

£400 to run, service, insure, park, petrol etc the car to get to work.
Public transport would cost more money than the car.
£400 rent.
£200 food/toiletries/haircut/essential clothes.
£250 debt payment.
Was paying £200 CM. £50 to travel to the kids, pick them up go back to the parents for the weekend, feed them/cheap activity and return them.

He had no choice, couldn't afford not to.
Ex moved straight on and is living with someone else. They aren't struggling, they've admitted that. It's a principle thing..

There looks room to shave off £40. Can’t be purchasing clothes every month. Surely if paying rent to mom and dad then they could cut £20 a month off for the grandkids. Really, it doesn’t matter if she’s moved on, they are his children.

You’re acting like this man had no agency of his own decisions!
He agreed to and took on the ‘wedding’ debt- Christ alive he could have said they needed to wait and save up! I doubt as well that this was all wedding money, £250 is a big monthly payment.
The £800 a month he spends on car and rent would get him a one bed flat and bills in a lot of areas outside of south east.

Why is it that mum just needs to cope and automatically house and feed the children, whereas this bloke gets off next to Scot free?

Has he explained his circumstances to CMS? they do try to accommodate everyone & every situation.
The amount he has to pay is based on what he earns & how much he sees the children,
BUT he is a dad & should provide for his children regardless.
im not sure the sympathy vote will work with CMS though. They see too many deadbeats giving them every excuse under the sun not to pay (trust me, my ex has probably tried to use all of them)

He did try and say to wait and save but she wasn't happy with that. Said having a long engagement would make them look bad so wanted a big wedding, quickly.
There's a few other bits like the sofa he bought for the house she lives in but mostly the wedding.

He needs the car to get to work. Just having a flat wouldn't be enough.

He works 9-6. With commuting it's 7.30 - 7pm. No second job or training time. Parents are elderly and require support.

He could have made better decisions but he can't turn back time. His ex won't take on half of the debt. She doesn't need this £40.
He wants to see his kids.

Oh FFS.

Indeed, right?
If she'd take on half the debt there wouldn't be an issue.

Yawn

I always wonder how these men find women who believe their bs.