Friend not giving me a lift home...aibu?

[greenbradket]

Night out with friend last night
Met her in her city which is around 20 min drive but 1 hr 20 mins by bus.
As we were drinking I couldn't take my car.
So I stayed at her house
This morning she says "sorry I can't take you home,I don't want to use petrol unnecessary "
So she drops me off at the bus stop
The Sunday service is 1 a hour and I've just missed it.
Aibu to think it's a bit crappy?
Bare in mind every time she stays over mine I drive her home or if I feel too hungover I'll pay for her Uber

Well next time she comes to yours you know to drop her at a bus stop ..
it’s been a hard lesson but I’ve learned

I’ve had friends like this. Whether or not they realise they’re being thoughtless they’re simply putting themselves first. But it can make you question what you mean to them. Agree with others, lesson learned, do her no favours as she clearly won’t for you.

Tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t see the error of her ways then I’m afraid it’s time to end the friendship.

Because she pays for ubers for the friend and its the friends turn to oblige?

Honestly, what is going on here lately? Endless stupid comments that seem to be purely based on being as mean as possible to the OP, irrespective of whetehr they make any sense

I agree with everybody. She is selfish and not interested in your welfare. Why you drive or pay for her to get home beats me. Stop being a doormat and stand up for yourself. She can get her self home without you driving her or paying for her uber. Mad.

Treat her as she treats you. It's just that simple. If she's doing something else for you that makes up for her rather selfish behavior about rides, that's fine, but if not, then it's time to refuse to visit her by bus any more.

Do you and your friend have the same financial circumstances? If you’re better financislly off than her you may be offer (very kind) gestures, when she plan and simply can’t and have go sorry about cost of petrol? If so, giving her money towards petrol would make sense.
If however your financial situations are similar, she’s a bit selfish, and you should stop offering!

That doesn't make sense, if she has her car at home to be able to offer to drop you home this morning then she must have returned after dropping her kids off?

This whole friendship is a really odd dynamic and nothing makes sense...

Why do you regularly stop at each others houses? Get a taxi home after your night out.

Why do you pay for her uber?! Also £45 for a 20min trip. Seems extremely unrealistic.

Lying about petrol stations only taking £20 - lies.

You've not given us any context to money situations nothing so its hard to judge.

Is her car old and nackered and she doesn't want to use it unnecessarily. Is she on a PCP on a newer car and gone over her mileage allowance or close, which will cost her money?

There are sooooo many scenarios which you haven't told us so hard to properly judge.

Yeah it seems a bit strange in general but nothing too wild. Honestly she just sounds like a normal friend that can't be bothered driving you today and you seem to maybe give far too much than the normal person and then expect the same back? It doesn't always work like that. Doesn't mean she's a bad friend.

I have many friends that don't drive and it really frustrates me when they expect a lift everywhere. It's not all about the cost of it - it's an inconvenience, it's an 45 min round trip for me, it's adding mileage and wear and tear to my car, I have to drive to a garage to full up the extra. It's an all round pain giving lifts!

Agree with this entirely...

You consider her a friend? Stop giving her a lift

Navigating, sensible & accurate as the rest of your post is, I can't get past this:
Why do you regularly stop at each others houses? Get a taxi home after your night out.

Why do you prefer your blue coat to your green?
Why do you like spaghetti but hate pork chops?
People enjoy different things. Shocker!!!!

Why are so many PP so shocked that some friends enjoy overnights at each others' houses? So shocked that they feel compelled to instruct a grown woman to stop doing it?

I think it's entitled to accept lift home every time you stay with your mate, including a £45 Uber, & refuse to reciprocate. To the point of inventing lies to make sure it goes your way.

It's possible to give without expecting to receive, AND to gradually become aware that you are being taken the piss out of on a one-way street ...

I don't understand why you didn't take your car park up, go out stay over, drive yourself back next day?

Because, in some complicated way I can't quite fathom, that didn't work for the friend so she told OP not to.

And OP went along with it, because she's used to this friend always getting her own way.

You’ve said it yourself, the friend ACCEPTED the lifts/Ubers, OP has offered those options, she didn’t have to and if her friend had asked, she could of said no but instead she’s now holding her own choices against her friend, who is well within her rights to say no! That’s not ok!

OP isn't "holding it against" she is simply waking up to the fact that she was the giver in this friendship & her mate the taker.

Personally, I don't accept multiple favours that I'm not in a position to match in the near future. YMMV.

I think I'm being fair to say if it's going to cause you potential issues getting home the the next and its a logistical nightmare (as this situation suggests), then as I say, just get a taxi home after your night out.

This whole thread is bizarre, regardless. No-one can really pass comment because we don't know the friendship dynamics.

Time to treat her the way she treats you.

I've had a few friends in the past that just take. I let one friend walk all over me for years. It took me way too long to learn how to say Fuck You.

It's sad that shes put you in the unnecessary category

£20 minimum 😆😆😆😆 what a lying CF, to be honest if it was me I wouldn’t worry about what happens next time as there would t be a next time for me. That’s no friend.

Wouldn’t it make sense for you to drive to her house And then drive home the next day?

You’re a much better friend than she is op.

Tight and selfish friend. Yes she didn't owe you a lift but is that the standard for friendships now - only doing the absolute bare minimum?

Personally I like to be generous in my relationship and when you're being taken for a mug it doesn't feel good.