Friend not giving me a lift home...aibu?

[greenbradket]

Night out with friend last night
Met her in her city which is around 20 min drive but 1 hr 20 mins by bus.
As we were drinking I couldn't take my car.
So I stayed at her house
This morning she says "sorry I can't take you home,I don't want to use petrol unnecessary "
So she drops me off at the bus stop
The Sunday service is 1 a hour and I've just missed it.
Aibu to think it's a bit crappy?
Bare in mind every time she stays over mine I drive her home or if I feel too hungover I'll pay for her Uber

Did you say or do anything last night while you were drinking that might have offended her? Because this feels like she’s giving you a massive ‘fuck you’ and like the friendship is over.

Op suit yourself next time. Bad form if a friend though.

"every time she stays over mine I drive her home or if I feel too hungover I'll pay for her Uber"

Well. Now you know to never do that again!

Why would you pay for someone else’s Uber?

It wouldn't be a 20 minute drive for her though. If it's mostly urban roads it would be closer to an hour. Even if it was mostly motorway it would be half an hour

Its maybe not the point, but, how were you planning on getting home?
Either you were planning on staying at hers, in which why didn't you take the car? Or you were planning on getting an Uber (usually more expensive at night than during day) so why not do that in the morning.

Have you text her and told her that she dropped you at the wrong place so you've missed the bud and with they wait time and journey time it'll take you 2.5 hours to get home?

Then state that every time she's stayed at yours you've driven her home without petrol money or paid for her taxi and you think she's being unfair and a crappy friend? I'd die on this hill.

This is an example of why so many people are in financial trouble. She hasn’t got £20 to top up her petrol but goes out drinking.
In that situation I would have invited a friend around to my house and bought a £5 bottle of wine from the supermarket.

Crap treatment of you, I agree.

Let's be fair - she probably does have the money, she just can't be arsed to drive nearly an hours' round trip on a Sunday morning.

I remember meeting a friend in town, my car was in the garage and I had to go in on the bus. At the end of the evening she didn't offer me a lift home. It was pub closing time and I was a bit nervous at the bus stop, I couldn't really believe she'd left me. We met when we used to work at a pub in the evenings and I'd always driven her home then, she didn't drive. I didn't consider her as a true friend afterwards, just an acquaintance.

A pity you didn't sort this out beforehand.

Anyway, you now know this women isn't your friend and you need to give her the P45

it sounds more odd that you go to such lengths to drive her and pay for her Uber.

Make sure that next time you drive to each other’s places and then you won’t have a problem with transport the next day. And neither of you has to have long journeys. 20 mins is quick, 40 mins not so much

I don't get this thread at all. You're a grown woman who went out to get drunk with no plans for how to get home, and you (and most of the replies) seem to think it's your friend's job to chauffeur you. It isn't.

Mind you I don't believe you pay for a £45 Uber for a 20 minute journey when she stays with you.

What on earth does she drive if a tankful of petrol only takes her 100 miles?

If the buses are only once an hr then the least she could do was ensure you didn't miss your bus and leave you waiting for an hr!

You did stay at her house...bit much to expect a lift home too!

Gosh with friends like these!
It was a pathetic excuse not to offer you a lift home (and I've never heard of a £20 minimum, £5 is the usual). But fair enough dropping you at the bus.
But for goodness sakes do not pay for her Uber! And drop her at the bus next time if you want to make a point.
I remember having a couple friends stay at mine after a party, and two of us had to get the train to work the next day. It would have been about two minutes out of the way for the third friend to drop us there (it was a 20 minute walk - no biggie, I did it every other day). She refused as she 'had to get home'. That was 30 years ago and I still remember how pathetic that was.

Did you point out to your friend the number of times you'd driven her home or paid for an Uber? What did she say?

Why, if OP is in the habit of giving friend a lift every time she stays over?

I Find it odd that people are in disbelief about op paying for friends uber.
I read it as OP had arranged that she'd take her friend home. She then couldn't because she was hungover/tired/didn't feel up to it so she paid for an alternative

I'd do the same (& I have before). I'd agreed to do something, I cannot fulfil my side of the agreement =my responsibility to find a suitable alternative. I see it as a bit like work, I've agreed to do a report/support a meeting/see a client. Turns out something comes up and I can't =I find a suitable person to fill in/find a reasonable alternative.

However as a pp said, the part about her dropping her children off etc so couldn't let op go to her house beforehand with her car, I don't understand that.

I'm perfectly capable of sorting my travel plans out yes .
We have did this driving each other home the following day for over 10 years so obviously I had no reason to think otherwise.
Yes I stayed at her house ,she also stays at mine too..it's a 50/50 thing.
I don't think it was petrol related or maybe it was ...I just think she couldn't be bothered.

I agree 100% with what @PinkStarAtNight says. OP's friend is doing what suits her and thinks everyone else does the same. So OP pays for friend's taxi because she wants to and therefore friend is not beholden in any way. She wouldn't give OP a lift for the £10 she offered, but (maybe) would have for £20, even though OP has paid more than that for her friend's taxi.

So for your best frame of mind, no need to bend over backwards for other people who won't do the same for you. You need to match the level of giving. Do that which is convenient for you. Drive to nights out if that suits YOU, not what your friend demands. (I hope you have nice friends as well as this one...)

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave I paid for her Uber on one occasion when I didn't feel well enough to take her home.
I wasn't going to just let her find her way home when she's not from the area