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Original poster

DH refusing dinner issue

289 replies

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 14:36

thursday morning he txt when he was at work asking what’s for dinner as he needed to know if he had to try borrow some money, with it being the day before payday we had barely any food in
I replied saying we’ve got stuff in for a roast if you fancy it? And asked what time he would be home
he was happy with this
around lunchtime on his break we had an argument unrelated and at the end he said “don’t bother with dinner it’s not worth the hassle”
I didn’t reply to this message as I couldn’t be bothered with arguing but I’m not just going to not bother as the kids need to eat
he’s then gone and borrowed money off his mum and walked in the door after work with McDonald’s
So after 2 hours of slaving in the kitchen cooking a roast the kids didn’t want any of it.
Hes been in a mood since because we argued about that too, him saying I’m ungrateful and that he told me not to bother with dinner so it’s my own fault
but the kids had to eat and I didn’t know he was going to get his mum to send him money at his big age of 37, so was I meant to take the risk and leave them with nothing

OP posts:
FanTaill · 22/10/2022 14:53

If this is a one off argument then try and move past it as a disagreement/miscommunication. (although I can’t get over being at the point where you need to borrow money for food but then spending that money on a takeaway when it could have gone so much further in a supermarket.)

But, if there are more arguments and ill feelings then that’s what you need to consider. Address the root cause, not the mini battles. I mean, you’re both still holding on to something that happened on Thursday. So there’s obviously more to it than a one off blip.

Ponoka7 · 22/10/2022 14:58

You need a proper discussion. If you've got the stuff in for a roast, why is it a hassle? He shouldn't be asking his Mum for money, unnecessarily. It sounds more of a habit that he's got into. There seems to be communication problems, address those and the bickering.

Skatewing · 22/10/2022 14:59

If he is borrowing money for a MacDonald's then you have bigger problems than his attitude.

Boredsoentertainme · 22/10/2022 15:02

I’d agree if you’re so skint he has to borrow a couple of quid for a McDonald’s then there is much much bigger issues here.

missverstaendnis · 22/10/2022 15:03

Skatewing · 22/10/2022 14:59

If he is borrowing money for a MacDonald's then you have bigger problems than his attitude.

THIS.

misskatamari · 22/10/2022 15:03

What…? He sounds an arse! You can’t “not bother with dinner” if there is you and the kids to feed (unless he is getting you all a takeaway). I’m guessing this is the tip of the iceberg?

Bettyboop3 · 22/10/2022 15:08

Boredsoentertainme · 22/10/2022 15:02

I’d agree if you’re so skint he has to borrow a couple of quid for a McDonald’s then there is much much bigger issues here.

McDonalds for a whole family costs more than a couple of quid!

GrazingSheep · 22/10/2022 15:10

It was just for him I think

GrazingSheep · 22/10/2022 15:11

Sorry - I see it wasn’t just for him

Eupraxia · 22/10/2022 15:13

What sort of grown adult, when money is so tight you have to borrow to feed your children, thinks macdonalds is a wise way to spend the money?

The issue is his whole attitude towards parenting on a budget

(I speak as someone who had to parent on a low income for close to a decade)

onlywishfulthinking · 22/10/2022 15:18

What sort of grown adult, when money is so tight you have to borrow to feed your children, thinks macdonalds is a wise way to spend the money?

This. He sounds thick as bricks, and mean.

WallaceinAnderland · 22/10/2022 15:21

So after 2 hours of slaving in the kitchen cooking a roast the kids didn’t want any of it

So did the kids not eat?

Olsi109 · 22/10/2022 15:22

Skatewing · 22/10/2022 14:59

If he is borrowing money for a MacDonald's then you have bigger problems than his attitude.

This!

thelobsterquadrille · 22/10/2022 15:25

I read it as you cooked a roast and then he came in with McDonald's for everyone?

He's an idiot for borrowing money for a McDonald's, but I don't think him not fancying a roast is a huge issue. He did tell you not to bother, after all.

sueelleker · 22/10/2022 15:28

WallaceinAnderland · 22/10/2022 15:21

So after 2 hours of slaving in the kitchen cooking a roast the kids didn’t want any of it

So did the kids not eat?

Or did they want McD after their dad came in with one?

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 15:35

Yes he bought mcds for everyone
the kids ate that

OP posts:
Kite22 · 22/10/2022 15:50

YA obviously NBU in this circumstance, but, as so many others have said, the issue seems to be far bigger than this meal.

If money is so tight you are having to check with each other if you have enough food to last until the next pay check, how does anyone's mind then think "I know, I'll spend on a takeaway" ? You both need to have some serious discussions about budgeting, finance and spending generally.

onlywishfulthinking · 22/10/2022 15:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Ragruggers · 22/10/2022 15:50

Is he usually bad with money?now he has to pay back the money so you will be short again.Save the roast for tomorrow ,not as nice but can’t be wasted.Save you cooking for next night.Is he very immature generally?.Sounds tedious to live with.

onlywishfulthinking · 22/10/2022 15:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

DeedlessIndeed · 22/10/2022 15:52

It seems an awful waste of a full roast dinner (and the energy to cook it!) for a family who have to get into debt for a McDonalds...

He comes across as short sighted and with all the fiscal sense of a doorknob.

PlutoCritter · 22/10/2022 15:54

he sounds like a child

why is he borrowing money from family to feed his family?

he sounds awful and the whole dynamic full of drama.

is life always this hard with him?

what redeeming qualities does he have?

why on earth would he think buying takeaway dinner, after you've made stuff at home and are scraping pennies together for food, is acceptable?

is this normal for him?!

ChicCroissant · 22/10/2022 16:09

You had an argument via messages when he was at work - I think that's unreasonable, tbh. He said not to bother with cooking the roast, you went ahead anyway. What needs sorting here is the dreadful communication between the two of you, how come you can have an argument and fall out yet not sort out the tea between you?

MomwasCasual · 22/10/2022 16:10

Isn't he embarrassed at borrowing money off his mum for McDonalds for his family?

knittingaddict · 22/10/2022 16:11

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

I would ask for your previous post to be deleted. It will potentially derail the thread.

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