DH refusing dinner issue

[Lisagreen12]

thursday morning he txt when he was at work asking what’s for dinner as he needed to know if he had to try borrow some money, with it being the day before payday we had barely any food in
I replied saying we’ve got stuff in for a roast if you fancy it? And asked what time he would be home
he was happy with this
around lunchtime on his break we had an argument unrelated and at the end he said “don’t bother with dinner it’s not worth the hassle”
I didn’t reply to this message as I couldn’t be bothered with arguing but I’m not just going to not bother as the kids need to eat
he’s then gone and borrowed money off his mum and walked in the door after work with McDonald’s
So after 2 hours of slaving in the kitchen cooking a roast the kids didn’t want any of it.
Hes been in a mood since because we argued about that too, him saying I’m ungrateful and that he told me not to bother with dinner so it’s my own fault
but the kids had to eat and I didn’t know he was going to get his mum to send him money at his big age of 37, so was I meant to take the risk and leave them with nothing

However obviously the bigger problem is your husbands debts - I think a serious discussion is needed on how he expects to sort them out it sounds like he’s not thinking about how it’s impacting the wider family.

It is in the OP's posts! She volunteered that! How about reading what this thread is about.

@TrussedUpLikeATurkey It doesn't sound like he's controlling over money. It sounds like she just doesn't care enough to know.

Anyone else really fancy bubble and squeak now?

The word hate means something very much more intense, bitter and angry than suggesting recipies to use leftovers Lisagreen12

It was patronising and not rigidly on topic (but talking around the topic is in the nature of a chat forum where nobody is under an obligation only to address the question exactly as asked, and sometimes it becomes clear on other threads that the question asked raises the real issue which the OP then acknowledges and wishes to discuss instead).

Most posters have been far more scathing about your steoppy, possibly controlling, definitely financially inept manchild partner.

he said “don’t bother with dinner it’s not worth the hassle” I didn’t make it to spite him I made it to feed my kids

Are your kids picky eaters generally, @Lisagreen12 ? It does sound as if he was right, on this occasion at least, in his prediction because the children didn’t want the roast dinner.

But what kid is going to turn down McDonalds?

You’re 25 - you should be out living life and having fun, not tethered to someone on minimum wage, approaching middle age

'On minimum wage, approaching middle age' probably applies to a fair amount of women on here. How offensive.

Was the McDonald's his way of trying to apologise, because he is unable to verbalise an apology for the bleach incident?
Either way this thread is nuts with all of the blame being put on op for wating potatoes, I stead pf her controlling emotionally, financially abusive husband who over rides her opinion and who icannot really safely express herself too. Some people on mums net need to get a grip in themselves.
His "don't bother with dinner" sounds like, h3 was sorting his own or not coming home.
HE cod have clarified that he was bringing home a takeaway... he gets to be fun dad too right? Bringing home a treat while mum is banging on about healthy veg.
There is a power imbalance in this relationship.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock you seem very keen to put all this on the OP. Your posts are extremely harsh and unforgiving of a poster who may be in an incredibly difficult situation at home.
Can you really not see that there is a chance in this situation that the partner might be controlling and financially abusive?

@TrussedUpLikeATurkey Not at all, but you seem to be quite keen to put 100% of the blame on the husband and none on the OP even though she herself has been quite rude and defensive. So that won't endear herself to posters and it's no surprise that some posters may have been harsh. She hasn't covered herself in glory nor has she been a sympathetic character. I've even defended her on a couple of things, so I don't get how my posts are remotely harsh, let alone extremely, I think you are being hyperbolic. Her husband might be controlling and financially abusive but I think it's more likely from the OP's shrugging shoulders/passiveness in her attitude to food wastage as well as money, that she is simply passive and doesn't pay much attention to what money goes where. Did you ever consider that?

That's what I wasn't sure of - which came first, the McDonalds or the roast refusal.

And I would say the exact same thing to any 20-something one of them had ensnared, and left at home doing all the domestic drudgery.

This is not a controversial viewpoint.

You’ve got to admit, it’s pretty hard to envisage the scenario with the sexes reversed, isn’t it?

Funny that……