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Original poster

DH refusing dinner issue

289 replies

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 14:36

thursday morning he txt when he was at work asking what’s for dinner as he needed to know if he had to try borrow some money, with it being the day before payday we had barely any food in
I replied saying we’ve got stuff in for a roast if you fancy it? And asked what time he would be home
he was happy with this
around lunchtime on his break we had an argument unrelated and at the end he said “don’t bother with dinner it’s not worth the hassle”
I didn’t reply to this message as I couldn’t be bothered with arguing but I’m not just going to not bother as the kids need to eat
he’s then gone and borrowed money off his mum and walked in the door after work with McDonald’s
So after 2 hours of slaving in the kitchen cooking a roast the kids didn’t want any of it.
Hes been in a mood since because we argued about that too, him saying I’m ungrateful and that he told me not to bother with dinner so it’s my own fault
but the kids had to eat and I didn’t know he was going to get his mum to send him money at his big age of 37, so was I meant to take the risk and leave them with nothing

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 22/10/2022 16:11

Yes, why would any adult need to borrow money to pay for a takeaway?

Georgeskitchen · 22/10/2022 16:21

If this was my house they would be having yesterday's dinner reheated for tonight . I wouldn't be getting thrown away!!

onlywishfulthinking · 22/10/2022 16:30

knittingaddict · 22/10/2022 16:11

I would ask for your previous post to be deleted. It will potentially derail the thread.

Show quote history

I have.

BadNomad · 22/10/2022 16:35

Why did you think he meant no one was going to eat dinner that evening? That's a strange conclusion to come to.

Eupraxia · 22/10/2022 16:43

Was you making the roast dinner in any way passive-aggressive?

I just can't make head-nor-tail of the cause and effect here that resulted in him buying a family meal at macdonalds when he knew you were cooking a roast dinner.

Why did he do that OP?

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:11

He gets paid weekly but he’s on minimum wage, I’m a stay at home mum to DC1 and 4

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:15

@BadNomad because he told me not to cook dinner and we had no other dinners in and no money

@Eupraxia no the original plan was to have a roast and he was happy with that

because he was getting paid the next day he probably didn’t see the issue in just getting a takeaway rather than a food shop

roast potatoes don’t do well reheated so dinner was chucked, I ate it though and reheated my McDonald’s later on and had that too

he gets around £350 a week after tax and we get a small benefits top up. Hoping to go back to work when Dc4 starts school next year but as of now it would cost over £2000 in nursery fees and I’m too exhausted after looking after 2 active children to work at night. So he’s making me feel guilty that he bought us a treat that we don’t usually get to have and I’ve ruined the mood of the night by being ungrateful.

OP posts:
lentilly · 22/10/2022 17:17

He sounds very petty

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:19

we had an argument when he was at work because he fucked up all the clothes washing by putting bleach in the machine. I asked him if he done it by accident and he doesn’t like hearing that he’s at fault

yes he’s bad at money but to be honest we really don’t get that much so it’s a struggle anyway, his commute is over an hour away for minimum wage which is another issue but the cost of fuel every week is getting too much

OP posts:
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 22/10/2022 17:21

You threw the roast away??!? They are fine to be reheated next day, what a waste 🤦🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:22

@Youcancallmeirrelevant obviously I kept the meat and stuffing for sandwiches but the cooked veg and potatoes went in the bin..

OP posts:
Kite22 · 22/10/2022 17:23

roast potatoes don’t do well reheated so dinner was chucked,

Shock

You threw away 3 dinners, yet are worried about being short of money Hmm
You sound as irresponsible about money as each other.

fleurdelee · 22/10/2022 17:24

I can't even with this thread

thelobsterquadrille · 22/10/2022 17:25

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:22

@Youcancallmeirrelevant obviously I kept the meat and stuffing for sandwiches but the cooked veg and potatoes went in the bin..

Roast potatoes are fine to be eaten cold or re-heated the next day.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/10/2022 17:25

Eupraxia · 22/10/2022 16:43

Was you making the roast dinner in any way passive-aggressive?

I just can't make head-nor-tail of the cause and effect here that resulted in him buying a family meal at macdonalds when he knew you were cooking a roast dinner.

Why did he do that OP?

-They agreed on roast for dinner in the morning after he asked if he needed to borrow money and pick up dinner.
-At noon they argued I think this is the potentially important bit here…what was the argument about?
-He told OP not to worry about dinner he would borrow money and pick it up
-Op, spends 2 hours making a roast despite DH saying he’d take care of it OP, why did you do this if he said he’d be picking up dinner?

-OP’s pissed because he followed through and brought dinner home and she wasted effort

that last bit is the confusing bit… he did what he said he was going to do and surely the effort wasn’t wasted and they could have the roast the next night.

Crazymadchickenlady · 22/10/2022 17:25

Next time just chop them up and fry them all together (potatoes and veg) in butter the next day. Tastes lovely! Warm the meat up in gravy and you have a great meal of leftovers.

BadNomad · 22/10/2022 17:26

because he told me not to cook dinner and we had no other dinners in and no money

But why would he starve the children? Why did you not think maybe he had something else planned? Why did you not ask? Thinking he meant no one was going to have dinner that night was a strange assumption to make.

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:27

@saltinesandcoffeecups he didn’t tell me he was getting dinner, sorting it, or that he was boring money, he said “don’t bother with dinner it’s not worth the hassle” I didn’t make it to spite him I made it to feed my kids

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 22/10/2022 17:27

Christ this is the kind if crap that makes me happy being single! What a nob

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:27

@BadNomad why was it a strange assumption to make when we had no money or other food in?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:28

And I also made the assumption that he was just saying that because he was mad, it was at the end of an unrelated long message, I thought he would still want dinner once he’d calmed down…

OP posts:
BadNomad · 22/10/2022 17:29

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:27

@BadNomad why was it a strange assumption to make when we had no money or other food in?

Yes it was when you know he was thinking about borrowing money.

mathanxiety · 22/10/2022 17:29

He has no business making you feel guilty 'because he bought you a treat.'

His mother bought the McDonalds 'food'.

NoMoreLifts · 22/10/2022 17:30

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:22

@Youcancallmeirrelevant obviously I kept the meat and stuffing for sandwiches but the cooked veg and potatoes went in the bin..

Bubble and squeak.
Fried egg.
Yum.

ThePoetsWife · 22/10/2022 17:32

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:22

@Youcancallmeirrelevant obviously I kept the meat and stuffing for sandwiches but the cooked veg and potatoes went in the bin..

What a waste. You could have reheated the veg and potatoes.

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