MIL said my breast milk isn't good enough for my baby

[goldenroses95]

I have a newborn who is feeding extremely often and my MIL claims that my baby is feeding so often because she's not getting enough nutrients from my breast milk. She says I need to change my diet (this is based on her seeing me eat 1 pizza takeaway on the weekend!) and even said "do you not love your child?"

I have told her that babies cluster feed and you feed breast fed babies on demand but MIL is having none of it. DH has not once backed me on this and her constant interfering is stressing me out. This incident is just one of a long list of things she's said/done.

Not an aibu as such but posting to see if anyone can advise me on how to navigate this situation!

You are completely right, your baby is cluster feeding, cluster feeding increases your supply which means eventually they will feed for longer but the gaps will also be longer. I am sure youre doing a great job x

She wants you to bottle feed so she can take over and start to take control.

Its great that your breastfeeding.

You know you’re right.
Stick to your guns.
Broken record, keep repeating why you’ve already said.
If you can be arsed show her some nhs etc info on the importance of breast milk and how it works.
Sort your DH out, he’s being a twat.

Is she physically present in your house, or is she harrassing you on the phone?

Kick her out/don't let her in or mute/block her number. It doesn't sound like she'll listen to reason.

You have a DH issue ultimately, does he undermine you in other ways or can he just not stand up to his mother?

What an ignorant, unhelpful response. Not sure why you even bothered commenting.

Just say to her... Thanks for voicing your concern, but I have done all my research and baby and I are super happy with how feeding is going, so I'd rather you stopped trying to stress me out over it. Thanks.

Do you have a Mum around OP? If so, tell your so called 'D' H, that unless he backs you up and tells his mother to stop criticising you and your every move with regard to YOUR child, you'll be taking the baby and going back to your own Mum, as you really don't need MIL taking away your confidence, and mean it!

Stop seeing her as much. And when you do just repeat how cluster feeding is normal, your feeding on demand, you don't mind, how breastfeeding is for feeding and comfort,

Wow, reading your post made my blood boil! Your MIL can FOTTFSOF with her outdated ignorance.

Your baby is feeding exactly as much as she needs to, which yes, might be almost every waking minute whilst she's tiny

How about sending her some articles to inform herself about cluster feeding? The Kellymom and La Leche League sites are both good. Then politely tell her she's upsetting you and if she wants to come and see you she needs to respect your choices and be me supportive.

Don’t justify it to her when she brings it up again.
just say ‘hmmm, ok’ and carry on doing what you’re doing.

I think she needs to be told in no uncertain terms that her opinion is a) wrong and b) unwelcome. That she can either be helpful, supportive and polite or she can stay away till she figures out how manners work.

Get blunt and fucking offend her.

Piss off MIL would do, follow it up with reminding your husband he has your back or pisses off too.

I may need chocolate though.

Wow. You must be fun at parties.

When is she saying this? If face to face just stop seeing her.

Your DP needs to either get on your team or fuck off back to mummy and her umbilical cord though. Have you talked to him about the fact he needs to support YOU, not mummy?

Just ignore her comments and if she doesn’t shut up tell your husband to shut her up or she won’t be welcome .

Tell your DH to sort his mother out, and that if he fails you will not be held responsible for the words you use while telling her to pack it in. His choice.

Is he more scared of upsetting her than you, his newly post-partum wife?

Van your MIL from your home until she learns some boundaries, manners and respect.

Well done for breast feeding and sticking to your guns. Get someone to have a word with your DH. (This is such a serious problem that the midwife will do this, if you tell her what's happening.)

Does she live with you? If not stop having her round for a bit

Tell the stupid bitch that you'll send her links about breastfeeding as she doesn't seem to understand how it is done.

And tell your husband that he either backs you up or you're not going to send any more time with her.

Why is she there so often? I would just curtail her visits.

Clear off @ClairyFlare

The op needs support in this area not another ear bashing

Wonder what she would have said to my newborn breastfeeding diet. It was mainly made up of chocolate biscuits!

Just ignore and have a strong word with your dh. You're doing amazingly well and he should be backing you up. If she has an option about this, you can guarantee she has options on lots of other aspects of motherhood. This needs to be nipped in the bud now. It will drive you potty and it could cause big resentments towards your dh.