MIL said my breast milk isn't good enough for my baby

[goldenroses95]

I have a newborn who is feeding extremely often and my MIL claims that my baby is feeding so often because she's not getting enough nutrients from my breast milk. She says I need to change my diet (this is based on her seeing me eat 1 pizza takeaway on the weekend!) and even said "do you not love your child?"

I have told her that babies cluster feed and you feed breast fed babies on demand but MIL is having none of it. DH has not once backed me on this and her constant interfering is stressing me out. This incident is just one of a long list of things she's said/done.

Not an aibu as such but posting to see if anyone can advise me on how to navigate this situation!

I was breastfeeding my first in 1971, we had our babies by the beds and fed on demand although the sister wasn't supportive the other staff were. They did have the babies in the nursery overnight but whoever was on duty would bring the babies in to you if you were breastfeeding but they would feed the bottlefed babies. Feeding on demand was normal with everyone I knew, friends, relatives, mums I met at NCT.

Where I lived feeding on demand was definitely advised in the early 70s so yes you are right they didn't say cluster feeding they said feeding on demand.

I expect it was very patchy for a long time. When my daughter was born in the early 90s I was in hospital for several days (emergency C section). I wanted to breastfeed and was really lucky that the staff were very supportive and helped me get it established. However, the majority of the other new mothers who were at the high dependency end of the ward were bottle feeding and were just being given formula already made up. Easier there, but more work when they got home and had to mix feeds, sterilise bottles etc.

I met a lot of other new mothers through the NCT and most were breastfeeding, to begin with, anyway.

My mother bit her tongue but I know she was baffled by the idea of feeding on demand. She found four-hourly feeding with formula very convenient as it meant she could get on with her cleaning, washing, ironing and cooking uninterrupted in between feeds and changes, while baby me got healthy fresh air out in the garden in the pram. None of that bothered me as I am not particularly houseproud and I was delighted to have an excuse to sit down with a book or in front of the TV while feeding.

An overnight nursery, what a luxury!

Anyway my point is that how farm animals are treated is hardly a suitable example to follow!!

I suppose it depends how you look at it, the nursery was for two wards so 48 babies, say half were bottle fed, well that left one student midwife with 24 babies to feed. I went in to get my baby, I was breastfeeding so collected mine when called or when I could hear lots of crying. One night I found the midwife sitting crying surrounded by crying babies. I got the midwife, who was covering one of the wards, to go in and help but even with two of them they weren't going to cope with 24 crying babies.

Personally I was happy to get up and cuddle my baby and feed him, I'd had some sleep and didn't want my baby left crying. It was horrible on the ward, an old fashioned Nightingale ward with 24 beds, lots of snoring as I sat feeding my baby listening to babies screaming.

I'm sure they meant well.