The arrangements for picking up dss is that dh does it all, pick up & drop offs, and thats been fine however, we have a very young baby & i am finding it increasingly annoying that he has to be away in the evenings 2-3 times a week picking up dss & dropping him home.
Dss's mum is known for being the bare minimum type of mum, so we pick up a-lot of the slack. She also has 2 other kids, neither are babies. So i feel that given how much we do & the fact that we have a baby she could try & at least share the driving?
Dh just says you know what she's like & dss will be the one to miss out but how selfish is that, she would let him miss out rather than share the travel arrangements?!
Im just so annoyed about it, we have some issues with baby & its alot to handle as well as our other child at home, so having him out in the evening is a big deal to me right now, its the most stressing time of day & to be frank i just need the help. He's obviously out all day at work so this is my time to get the help.
I know i know he has a son, im not saying anything changes in terms of him, just that the mum helps to facilitate it sometimes!
AIBU?
AIBU?
To get DH to change arrangements with DSS
tenniswim · 13/10/2022 22:31
RedHelenB · 13/10/2022 22:35
He can ask mum but if she says no what do you want to happen?
Wombat100 · 13/10/2022 22:33
You’re not being unreasonable - she should be picking up some of the slack.
Why are there so many pick ups and drop offs, is this when DSS is going between the houses? X
averythinline · 13/10/2022 22:51
Why doesn't he sleep over in the week as well ?
Or if your at home why dont you pick him up straight from school ? Still the pick up but means dh at home rather than out??
Go for him being at yours more eg 50/50 ...
What would dss want??
Arrangements can change but nedd to be thought through and agreed
Its not dss mum problem her ex has had 2 more kids.....so don't get the annoyed with her
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 13/10/2022 22:47
We do her so many favours, and help financially etc.
Do you mean you pay maintenance?
tenniswim · 13/10/2022 23:05
No much more than maintenance, dss's financial needs are covered by us 100% and then some
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 13/10/2022 22:47
We do her so many favours, and help financially etc.
Do you mean you pay maintenance?
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/10/2022 23:07
45 mins isn’t that terrible is it? Probably more reason to sleepover rather than having back and forth in one evening.
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/10/2022 23:13
DH might have done the lion’s share of transport, but sounds like his ex has done the lion’s share of care. Why do you live so far from DSS?
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luxxlisbon · 13/10/2022 23:14
I’m really struggling to see how your DH does the lions share when he has his son overnight every other weekend and a dinner or 2 in the week.
Surely considering you have other kids, and are struggling when your husband is out of the house dropping his son home you must realise it’s very different for his ex to be the full time parent?
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