To not go back full time - ever?

[Geeseflying]

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

I voted YANBU and then saw you were a teacher - YADNBU!!

Nope, if you and partner can financially support your family, why work more than you have too?! :)

YANBU

Sure if you can afford it then go for it sounds ideal!

Up to you and your partner really.

So long as it’s a mutual agreement with you and your partner.

What does your dh think?

I am similar to you, also a teacher. Have been on 0.6 since returning after dd1 was born and she just turned 14 recently 🙃

Personally, I have no intention of ever going back to full time. Might consider 0.8 at a push. But even that, I'm wary about!

Things get more difficult not less once they start school (compared to private nursery). I work 4 days not 3 and my DC has just started reception, but I can’t see me going back to 5 days anytime in the next few years.

Maybe not what you asked but if you can don't like your job and you can only bear a few days then you should think about a change of career. Children deserve to be taught by someone who wants to be there .

It's fine if it works for you as a family, loads of people stay part time,
Mine are teenagers and I've worked 3 days a week since DC1was born.
No plans to go full time again.

I haven’t discussed with DH yet, it’s a few years off.I just think if I had another two days to do this week I’d be so miserable. As it is, I can cope because I finish mid week. But it is that worry - will he expect me to go back FT when I can? I hope not!

Absolutely yanbu. Even when your child is at school, as a teacher you will have to utilise childcare before and after school. If you can afford it, have two days a week off that you can take in and pick up. It will mean the world to them. I work part time and have no intention of ever going full time if we can afford it. DH works full time and I have no idea how we would juggle everything if we both worked all the time. Teaching is a tough job and if it works for you, take the opportunity step away and not burn yourself out.

Absolutely top marks to all who work full-time and manage everything. I wouldn't. I'm just too disorganised!

It depends obviously on whether you can afford it and whether your DH is happy with it.

Personally, I would go for a career change sooner rather than later - if you hate it this much now, will you actually stick it out till retirement anyway? If you're not, you're best off figuring out a career change.

Unless you live in a bad area for this, paying for some holiday clubs is not that bad or that complicated, I wouldn't stick with a job you hate just for the holidays off

If you can afford it then definitely stay part time!! :-)

@switswoo81 i suppose it’s true that I wouldn’t work for free, but I don’t mind being there in the sense that I resent the kids or walk around glowering and snapping at everyone.

But it drains me. I get so tired I’ve never got anything left by the end of the day. Plus planning and marking and general unpleasantness from staff and students does get to me. I just need a couple of days away from it.

Not unreasonable so long as DH is happy with it.

I dream of going even to four days, but we won't be able to afford it for a few more years!

I think a 3 date working week is the perfect balance for a home life with kids. 2 days to pick up everything that's not done in those 3 days. Then the weekend clear to devote to the kids 👌

I understand I have been teaching for 21 years but you need to

Talk to your husband. I don’t plan on ever working full time again if I can help it (assuming no massive changes in our circumstances of course) DH very happy to support whatever I want thankfully.

Sorry posted too soon.. you need to think if its worth being in a job at all that you don't enjoy.

It is entirely up to you and your husband as to whether or not you are being unreasonable. Can you afford it with the rising cost of living? Would you be supportive of your husband if he wanted to move to part time?

Yanbu as long as you as a family can afford it, and it works for you all.

There are a lot of benefits to your partner of you being part time once kids are at school, as well for you, because it means you can pick up a bit more of the life admin and house stuff, and you’re free to pick up kids on those days etc.

Its obviously doesn’t mean you’d have to do all the life admin and house stuff though, or all the childcare when you’re both off! Be careful that doesn’t become the expectation. And if you’re a teacher, depending on what job he does I’d want to be clear that he’s first in line to look after kids if they’re ill on your working days - provided he’s not a teacher too or another similar key profession.

Well, if DH wanted to go part time I’d have to go full time so I’d have to put up with it then.

@switswoo81 , I work for money. I am professional and I do work hard, but that’s as much as they are getting. Slavish joy isn’t going to happen any time soon.

This. Sorry.

But in answer to your question: it doesn't matter what anyone on here thinks; if your DH is OK with it and you don't need to work FT for financial reasons, then the choice is entirely yours.