Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go back full time - ever?

374 replies

Geeseflying · 12/10/2022 17:17

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 12/10/2022 17:58

Have you considered the impact on your pension though if you never go back full time?

breadmilkandchocolate · 12/10/2022 17:58

My two are 18 and 16, eldest has jyst started uni, and I have been part time since he was born. I've changed jobs twice in that time. Being pt makes it more difficult to change jobs, but I've managed it. I was 0.5FTE until the Covid pandemic, but have gone up to 0.8 FTE since then because I now only need to do the 1.5h commute to the office one day a week and so have recovered lots of "free" time.

Original poster
Geeseflying · 12/10/2022 18:00

AnneElliott · 12/10/2022 17:58

Have you considered the impact on your pension though if you never go back full time?

I have. It doesn’t concern me overly, as I think if I had to work full time I’d end up retiring earlier anyway, so it balances out.

OP posts:
EgonSpengler2020 · 12/10/2022 18:00

YANBU. I've made a similar decision as a paramedic. I do 2 shifts a week (24 hours plus a few of hours a week overtime for finishing late). No intention of increasing my hours. It's tolerable for 2 separated shifts a week, but I don't know how my colleagues cope with the soul destroying waits outside hospital for consecutive days.

In the region I live there isn't a great choice of work outside the public sector (lots of seasonal minimal wage work) so I can earn far more part time, by being clever about picking up unsocial hours shifts and enhanced pay, than I would if I left and found a different job.

My current pondering is how I can progress my career whilst remaining part time.

Original poster
Geeseflying · 12/10/2022 18:00

@breadmilkandchocolate it definitely does. People don’t realise, they say ‘but lots of teachers are part time.’ Yes, but they didn’t start part time!

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 12/10/2022 18:02

It’s up to you and your dh

We can all say go for it but it’s down to how much you can agree

I don’t see why not imo

ASandwichNamedKevin · 12/10/2022 18:03

I worked part time before I had DC, just for the work life balance aspect of it.
DH was supposed to drop to 0.8 after DC and I was going to go up to 0.8 but in the end he didn't want to so I stayed at 0.6.
I do most of the life admin but I'm fine with that. We have a cleaner once a week and I do all laundry.

lanthanum · 12/10/2022 18:05

If it works for your family's finances and work-life balance, do it. There's no rule that you have to work full-time because your child goes to school. Part-time means you can still do some of the pick-ups and drop-offs, which is really useful for home-school communication (and collecting up their lost property - a friend's child went to after-school club most days, but on Fridays her mum collected her and rounded up the gloves/coats/hats she'd left at school during the week).

Your husband may well prefer to have you working three days and left with enough energy for housework and family life, and if your finances are working now, they should be okay when you've only got three days after-school care to cover.

(I'm biased, though - I cut to teaching part-time before even having a child - for the work-life balance.)

hellcatspangle · 12/10/2022 18:06

Do what suits you and your family. I've only ever worked P/T since the dc were born and it suits us all. I've always been there when they get back from school, never had to rush round keeping on top of chores at weekends, it's great!

Original poster
Geeseflying · 12/10/2022 18:07

Oh it’s so much better, it’s only when I look back I realise I was miserable teaching full time, counting down to each holiday. It’s actually sort of enjoyable now.

I really hope I can do some pick ups and drop offs.

OP posts:
ParentallyUnprepared · 12/10/2022 18:09

I quite like my job but I've just gone back for three days a week. I'm going to increase to four days but I've no intention of working a Friday again.

breadmilkandchocolate · 12/10/2022 18:10

Geeseflying · 12/10/2022 18:00

@breadmilkandchocolate it definitely does. People don’t realise, they say ‘but lots of teachers are part time.’ Yes, but they didn’t start part time!

Depends what you teach. If its a subject with shortages, such as maths, physics, computer science and several others, you will have negotiating power. I'm a school governor (something I can only fit in because I work part time) and often interview teachers. We do take on part time staff if they are the best (or only) candidate for the role.

gogohmm · 12/10/2022 18:10

I'm pt and dd is at university. I volunteer on my days off so I'm not sitting about

Yourstory · 12/10/2022 18:11

I wonder if later, when you felt ready, if you needed extra income, if it might be possible to get a different job for the other 2 days. Maybe something that is less stressful and that might actually feel like a break in itself.

Original poster
Geeseflying · 12/10/2022 18:13

That wouldn’t really be ideal to be honest!

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 12/10/2022 18:13

since kids both went to school I work 4 days, previously 3.
obviously there is a financial hit but fortunately dh earns a lot more than I do so it’s less important than it would be if it was the other way round.

however the whole family benefits because on my one day off I do cleaning/tidying/food shop/errands that would not otherwise get done at all.

also with not working full time and being able to move things around, school holidays are somewhat easier to manage

Yanbu at all if you can afford it. My dh is totally fine with the situation. Depends on family circumstances.

I may go back FT when the kids are at high school. Or not.

DixonD · 12/10/2022 18:14

Mine has been at school for 2 years and I only upped to three days when she started. I did two days before that. Time with them during the holidays every week without having to book leave that may not be granted is more important than work.

equaitygrey · 12/10/2022 18:16

As a full time worker who has a spouse who is part time around childcare (with SEN who will always need a degree of support) - I feel totally suffocated with the burden of having to be full time and being the bulk of money in and I know I won't be ever able to cut down unless my spouse goes full time - which won't be easy as he's self employed, lost skills etc etc. and it was my idea in the first place and necessary at the time.

Just be really sure you aren't resented by your other half for placing the financial burden on them to be FT and you are prepared financially to have 2 part time workers if it came to it.

Simonjt · 12/10/2022 18:16

I work part time, three long days, I’ve been part time since I became a parent, if we can continue to afford it I’ll remain part time until I retire. My husband also works part time, for us we either both work part time, or we both work full time, we wouldn’t consider part time if we could only afford for one person to drop hours.

AppleKatie · 12/10/2022 18:17

I work 0.9 over 4 days which is the dream and I love it. I’m ‘lucky’ in the sense that my job is more secure and I earn more than DH so there’s no guilt or feeling that I should go back full time. My 4 days are manic, but my day off is priceless. Tbh I’d ‘pay’ more for it out of my salary than I do, it’s so important.

rosegoldwatcher · 12/10/2022 18:20

Part time teaching posts are like hen's teeth, so if you have one now hang on to it!

You are absolutely NBU.
Once I had my second son I didn't teach full time for 14 years! DC loved my days off almost as much as I did.
I worked full time when I moved school (twice) but went part time as soon as I was able.

As PP have said, your pension will be smaller.

Figgygal · 12/10/2022 18:21

I always Said that but after 11 years and with kids now In school with costs rocketing I can't justify it anymore.
If you can afford it hold on to it as long as you can!!

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 12/10/2022 18:25

I was a PT teacher until my youngest went to secondary school. However, FT was tough as teenagers need a lot of picking up /dropping off/extra curricular activities. I was shattered! Looking back I wish hadn't have done it. If it works for you, your DH and DC then stay PT.

Notmenottodaynotever · 12/10/2022 18:26

I'm staying part time and I think my dh gets good value out of it - not having to do his share of the grocery shopping, holiday packing, Christmas shopping, pet care, laundry... he's not going to fight me to be part time! It is also more flexible to have one person pt when it comes to children being sick, deliveries and tradesmen coming.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/10/2022 18:27

YANBU if you can afford it.
I like my job, and at 61 have no plans of retiring any time soon - but I've been PT since DD started school (IME working full time simply doesn't fit with the school day unless you've got good family support or suchlike). I didn't want to return to FT, I like the flexibility, it's sustainable in a way FT probably wouldn't have been.