To not go back full time - ever?

[Geeseflying]

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

I’m surprised you don’t know how he’ll feel op

I just can’t imagine not wanting to know already

Absolutely, it's been quite an eye opening read.

You sound quite bitter in your last post
’thats as much as they are getting’ ????
I can see why you might end up in a run in or two with other colleagues, they must be picking up b this. And the students too.

Just leave and do something you find rewarding with your life. Not everyone is cut out to be an inspiring, excellent teacher.

YANBU to work any hours you like that fit your lifestyle but YABU to stay in a job that you don't enjoy Retrain! I have 3 young DC and thought I'd be in the PT camp forever but went for a job I really enjoy and want to progress in that is also really flexible around my responsibilities as a mother.

Yes, and no.

I have found men generally are less likely to go part time after having a child. Why this is I don’t know. DHs company is almost exclusively white middle aged men. There have been some attempts at diversifying it but while they are more varied than they were this is reflected in ethnic backgrounds not sex (not gender )

DH earns double what I did when I was full time, but another issue is he often works away. Someone needs to be here, that’s me.

I don’t think my working PT is solely responsible for the gender pay gap but I do agree there is a trend for women to step down. It’s interesting to explore why that is.

@Geeseflying

Me and my DP work 4 days each.
He compressed his hours until 4 x 10 hours and I just do 4 normal days but we have different days off so it means we only need 3 days of childcare which is much more manageable

You have to do what works for you - if we can afford for us to drop some hours in the future we will based on the fact our retirement ages will no doubt be about 70!!!

@Kissingfrogs25 , it was ‘said’ in a fairly jovial tone. I am professional and I am pleasant, I plan thoroughly, mark work quickly, differentiate, offer revision and intervention in my own time, go in on results day, give tissues, chocolates, pens, rulers, to those who need them.

Is absolute joy at all I do really a requirement too?

This can only be said by someone who isn’t a teacher.

Its not about the kids, we all love the kids, it’s about the pointless shit, pressure and accountability that goes with it. All unnecessary and driving teachers away. Away from a job they wanted to do because they like children. But it’s not about children anymore They’re about 5% of the job. The 5% that’s great.

I enjoy my job and still have only just gone back to full time. Youngest is Y5, primary years are harder than nursery as the hours are shorter and you have to cover holiday.

we all love the kids

errr 😬

lovely y9 p1 yes

my loud, annoying, know everything y10s p5 …

Become a tutor! You can pick your hours and you clients! Win Win

It doesn’t appeal at all. I’d have to do it in anti social hours, I don’t want the stress of self employment and I just don’t really fancy it, if I’m honest here.

YANBU. I'm a teacher too and went PT when 1st dc was born. I stayed PT for years and have just gone back to FT teaching age 50. My dc are 14 and 17. It's a bit of a shock to the system being FT after all this time, but I'm at a lovely school with very well-behaved kids, so it's doable!

Maybe not what you asked but if you can don't like your job and you can only bear a few days then you should think about a change of career. Children deserve to be taught by someone who wants to be there.

This may be good advice for the OP's well-being, but it's not realistic as a general statement. Most teachers who hate their job do not hate it because they are bad teachers or because they dislike or don't care about children, or because they dislike teaching in general. They hate their jobs because of the state of the education system, the very bad behaviour of students and failure of senior management to deal with it, and unreasonable workload.

If all the teachers who hate those aspects of their job left teaching, there would not be anywhere near enough teachers. There already aren't enough. I think most parents would prefer to have in front of their child's class a qualified, competent subject-specialist teacher who's secretly hating their job (how would parents know the teacher hates their job?) than a succession of TAs, non-subject-specialists and supply teachers.

I have loved some of my teaching jobs and loathed others. I have been competent and professional in either case.

If you can afford it and your husband is happy to fund your lifestyle then fine. If he left you though would it not mean your pension will be much smaller? Not sure I'd want to be a kept woman but if you are happy to be then go for it.

Me and my DP have both dropped to 4 days a week since my mat leave ended. He earns more than me but I much prefer that we both work the same (and do equal childcare/house work) than me doing 3 days and him 5. It's important to me to maintain my own career for many reasons.

Im just wondering why you feel
your DH should bear the brunt of the financial contributions for the family? You seem to have decided this is what’s going to happen because you’re in a job you don’t like. Pretty defeatist.

It's not whataboutery OP. Why so defensive? And yes, it's great that your role means you get the school holidays off, that's definitely a massive contribution. But honestly you (neither of you) should be dividing/defining your roles like this because it's how you end up down the road of him expecting you to do everything DC related, and you expecting to never have to think about the financials. You're a team, making team decisions, not warring exes throwing 'yeah but...' type comments about your contributions.

*shouldn't. Not should.

I knew you were a teacher before I even read all of your post 😂
I'm a part time teacher and don't even have kids so that answers your question! I'll never go back full time

I realise the thread has moved on a bit, and I haven’t read all of it, but just make sure you think about your pension. I’d work pt forever if I could, and did for many years, but my pension is measly compared to my ft working ex’s. I didn’t consider it as much in my 30s and a happy relationship

Posted too soon....

But if it works for you and your husband OP then that's the most important thing. To be honest, from your posts I think your question should be 'should I stay in teaching' rather than 'should I stay part time '.

@Geeseflying

Yeah, maybe l should have said most of the kids😁

🤣🤣🤣🤣
a comment only a non teacher would make.

Teaching is just a job like any other. Lots of people don’t like their jobs, and they are not told they should
leave and find another.

I teach primary. I do not like it at all. I LOVE teaching 9-3, and the kids but hate everything else around it, the 11 hour days, and work at weekends, lack of flexibility (can’t attend my
own children’s events).

Do the children know this?

No. I am freaking Pollyanna at work, and they, their parents and my SLT are happy with me.

My fear would be in the event of divorce, or spouse's untimely death, or disability -- would I be able to support myself & kids/resume full-time work, and would my old-age security be affected?

I know it's easy now to say one doesn't want to sacrifice living now for future security but when you are 70 and have no means of generating income, your savings will be paramount.

Why work more than you have to. If finances allow, then do it. I don't understand why some people feel they have to work full time and push themselves to do so. Having a full time, burnout-worthy job is nothing to brag about and a career is not a personality trait.