To not go back full time - ever?

[Geeseflying]

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

Things change a lot depending on the age of the children, but don’t neglect your pension either. So many women go part time then get to 50, and realise they will struggle to have enough pension or the relationship goes poof and struggle.

It's a discussion for you and dh. As teacher could you not earn extra by marking exams, tutoring etc if needed.

Well, the thing about pensions is I think I’d collapse with exhaustion by 50 if I had to go full time until then. Part time would probably allow me to keep going past 60.

Plus, while I don’t wish to be blase about it, planning for the future is important but I don’t plan on being miserable in my 40s and 50s to enable me to be rich in my 60s.

Marking exams is once a year and really isn’t much, it’s good professional development but barely pays for a family holiday. Tutoring - no, I never know how teachers have the energy on top of a days work!

Op there is no context here.
Do you need to work, are you both financially secure?

Do you have dreams of retiring at 50 to Barbados?

If you are financially fine why worry about it now?
A lot can happen!

There are many career choices open to you in different avenues including tutors etc.

I wouldn't worry or commit to anything now unless you're both struggling financially

YANBU I used to do 3 days and would go back if I could, I work 4 now but in a job I much prefer and can wfh most days which is much better as well.

My youngest starts school next year, DH and I can’t wait to have a day off together. We’re fortunate to be mortgage free so are ploughing money into our pensions now.

@switswoo81

noone would want to be there if they didn’t get paid!

Yanbu parenting doesn't stop at a certain age and if you can, you also get to be there a lot more for your child x

I'm a teacher,ds is 5 year 1, I've just dropped to 0.8 and won't go back ft ever! It's too much.

Sorry I thought it said your child was 7 but regardless if you can stay pt I would x

I work 4 days a week and have no intention going back full time once DS starts school next year. Way I see it, extra salary would be wiped out paying for a cleaner cos there's no way to keep on top of everything if we're both working full time. Plus life events have forced me to re-evaluate things and I just don't want to be working full time.

YAnbu - part time teaching is basically a full time job for less pay and less pupil contact anyway 😜

I didn’t go back after Mat leave in 2016 and I did get another pt job in 2020 but just sacked that off too because it was effort.

DP is fine with it and we’re fine so I guess for now I’m retired 🤣.

@Meredusoleil

she can also do stuff for herself at the weekend

does not have to devote every weekend to the kids

Teacher here!

I work four days and wish I could do three. I've worked four days since returning from maternity and my DC is now in ks2! If you can afford to stay PT I would.

Not a family friendly job at all.

All depends on how your DH feels, would the pressure to earn all fall on him working full time or does he earn enough to allow you both to be part time? he may also wish to drop hours as he gets older.

Well nobody can really answer then. It needs to be a joint decision between you and your DH, not you and the rest of mumsnet.

Definitely not unreasonable. I've just recently gone full time after being 0.8 for years and I'm going back down to 0.8 after Christmas. Im going to be doing 9-3pm Mon-Fri so I can pick the kids up from school instead of sending them to after school club. Luckily DP is supportive of this.

My only concern would be your pension. I went part time after having dc1 my plan being that having had dc2/3 I would go back 4 days when they were in ks2 and 5 when in ks3. Unfortunately I was retired on ill health grounds when youngest was in reception meaning I have a rubbish pension because it was part time for so long. You don't know what's around the corner, you need to be financially protected in your own right. This doesn't mean you go back full time but may mean you look at paying extra into your pension/other types of investment.

I don’t think anyone can really answer your question without knowing the full picture of your household. I’m self employed and I work full time. If you’ve another 20+ years ahead of you before retirement though and really dislike your job then perhaps you need to think about a career change to find something you will enjoy?

If you can affird it why not? I stayed part time (3 days per week) until my youngest was 16

My kids are in y2 and I work 3 days! People ask me what I do on my days off - I end up being quite busy, but so much more enjoyable than working!!

DH’s job just doesn’t lend itself to PT work at all. Of course, he may want to change it. Financially it’s the sort of cyclical thing where we have a high income but high costs. We’re good but I imagine an extra £15,000 or so would be welcome, isn’t it always, but then we’d have to pay for wraparound childcare too.

Yanbu. I work part time during school hours, with the benefit of being able to condense my 5 days into 3 during the school holidays, which is a godsend when it comes to childcare. I will work part time until both my children are in secondary, and able to sort out getting themselves to and from school, and not be relying on me being home as soon as they get back each day, and during the summer. Before then, it just wouldn't be feasible with the cost of ooh care. If it works financially for your family, there is no issue with one parent working part time, while the children need an adult around for school runs etc.

What happens if you DH decides he would like to be the one only working part time? Seems that you will have extra days to do what you want but he will have to go to work each day? Perhaps he would prefer to work part time whilst you work full time?

@Parker231 I’ve answered that already. In fairness, his job is a lot more flexible than mine.