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AIBU?

Bizarre incident on train...

737 replies

Redqueenheart · 11/10/2022 18:34

I had a rather unpleasant experience on my way home today on the London tube and I wonder how other people would have reacted.

I was sitting in a tube carriage and looking at images and videos I had taken from an art exhibition I visited earlier. Was really tired and just wanted to mine my own business.

A man comes in and seats next to me, fidgeting and getting a bit too close for comfort. I ignore him.

He then asks me ''What is that?''. I realise he is now looking at my phone and expects me to tell him what the picture I am looking at is.

I snap back ''That is my phone and there is something called privacy''.

To my surprise two young women who were sitting on the other said of me get involved and say ''that was rude, he was only asking you a question''.

At that point I had enough and said something in the line of ''My pictures are private and none of your business'' and moved to a different seat on the other side of the train. Heard the girls snigger but there was no more interaction after that.

I really don't get why on earth the guy thought it was OK to barge into my space and then start staring at my phone and demand my attention and why these two women actually thought it appropriate to defend him...

Afterwards I did ask myself if this was an attempt to distract me while one them would try to get something from my bag but even as it stands I was absolutely furious about these people's behaviour.

I am quite curious to hear how other people would have reacted.

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 11/10/2022 18:36

I think what you said was fine! and it's also fine to move.

I once attempted to stop a huge man from holding some poor girls arm, and he did but grabbed mine instead. That was weird.

TimeforZeroes · 11/10/2022 18:40

The only encounters like this that I regret are the ones where I’ve engaged and been friendly despite feeling totally uncomfortable. You did nothing wrong.

Hugasauras · 11/10/2022 18:40

Good for you!

confused162 · 11/10/2022 18:40

I do think you have a point about your Pictures being private. But I wouldn't speak to anyone like that it sounds rude and uncalled for. I don't want to bring out the old 'neuro diverse', but maybe he was. I am also extremely careful about my personal safety and even if I was annoyed about being asked I would play it cool and make a casual neutral remark and then get off at the next stop if I felt uncomfortable.

ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 11/10/2022 18:41

You did nothing absolutely wrong, he had no right to invade your personal space and to look at your phone. Bloody creep.

Newusernameaug · 11/10/2022 18:43

Yup he was totally creepy - really not ok!
as for the women sat opposite - honestly sometimes I give up! WTF is wrong with them to defend his behaviour? They’re probably just brainwashed into being nice polite girls 🤢

Benjispruce4 · 11/10/2022 18:44

I probably would have just said they were pictures from an exhibition . I’m quite friendly towards strangers though. Perhaps the girls picked up more from the man than you did as they were opposite him.

Darkstar4855 · 11/10/2022 18:44

I’d have been a lot ruder. I’d have told them all to mind their own business.

YANBU

RIPQueen · 11/10/2022 18:46

I could see a situation in which something bright or unusual caught my eye on a phone and I wanted to know what it was. If he wasn’t with the girls I doubt it was a scan. I think it’s fine to not want to talk to strangers but equally there’s no need to be rude

JudithHarper · 11/10/2022 18:46

If you deem your pictures private, don't look at them in a public place.

MinnyMous · 11/10/2022 18:48

JudithHarper · 11/10/2022 18:46

If you deem your pictures private, don't look at them in a public place.

It was an opening gambit and unwanted attention. If OP hadn't been looking at pictures it would have been something else.

AutumnCrow · 11/10/2022 18:48

JudithHarper · 11/10/2022 18:46

If you deem your pictures private, don't look at them in a public place.

If fact don't go out in public. Don't own a phone. Don't ever potentially upset a man. Don't really exist.

ouch321 · 11/10/2022 18:48

I would have simply said 'pics from an an exhibition' with a look to make it clear I wasn't interested in chatting.

I was born and have grown up in London but I don't see someone attempting chit chat as deserving of the outrage and snarky response you gave.

WillPowerLite · 11/10/2022 18:50

Your reaction was fine.

The girls were out of order, too.

Benjispruce4 · 11/10/2022 18:53

Ok to say ‘It’s private’ but ‘there’s such a thing as privacy’ is horrible.

Ponoka7 · 11/10/2022 18:54

JudithHarper · 11/10/2022 18:46

If you deem your pictures private, don't look at them in a public place.

So anyone can join in reading your book/paper? Everything should be a group activity?

Benjispruce4 · 11/10/2022 18:56

A book is quite different to an easy to view photo.

JudithHarper · 11/10/2022 18:56

Ponoka7 · 11/10/2022 18:54

So anyone can join in reading your book/paper? Everything should be a group activity?

I don't regard either of those private but I turn the pages when I am ready. I don't wait for sluggerbeds.

WonderingWanda · 11/10/2022 18:56

I admire your assertiveness. It is fine to look at your own photo's in a public place and you renunder no obligation to tell him what they are. In the same way it has always been rude to read over someone's shoulder it is rude to look at their phone over their shoulder.

AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut · 11/10/2022 18:58

AutumnCrow · 11/10/2022 18:48

If fact don't go out in public. Don't own a phone. Don't ever potentially upset a man. Don't really exist.

Yes, just sit there staring at the floor so you don’t risk upsetting a man.

Fucks sake.

Sapphire387 · 11/10/2022 18:59

I was born and raised in London and still live here, and I think you were rude. If you didn't want to talk, you could have said so.

FatKyle · 11/10/2022 18:59

I would have probably said something similar op.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 11/10/2022 18:59

I like your style.


Funny how he didn't ask any of the men in the carriage isn't it?

Summerfun54321 · 11/10/2022 19:00

I would have moved without the rude snappy comment. Disengage and walk off, he could have been aggressive.

sashagabadon · 11/10/2022 19:02

I think you were unnecessarily rude. Life is a lot better if we’re all a bit more polite to each other and don’t always assume everyone is acting in bad faith. And don’t sit down next time, you’ll have more luck stopping others staring at your phone if you stand up.

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