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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bizarre incident on train...

737 replies

Redqueenheart · 11/10/2022 18:34

I had a rather unpleasant experience on my way home today on the London tube and I wonder how other people would have reacted.

I was sitting in a tube carriage and looking at images and videos I had taken from an art exhibition I visited earlier. Was really tired and just wanted to mine my own business.

A man comes in and seats next to me, fidgeting and getting a bit too close for comfort. I ignore him.

He then asks me ''What is that?''. I realise he is now looking at my phone and expects me to tell him what the picture I am looking at is.

I snap back ''That is my phone and there is something called privacy''.

To my surprise two young women who were sitting on the other said of me get involved and say ''that was rude, he was only asking you a question''.

At that point I had enough and said something in the line of ''My pictures are private and none of your business'' and moved to a different seat on the other side of the train. Heard the girls snigger but there was no more interaction after that.

I really don't get why on earth the guy thought it was OK to barge into my space and then start staring at my phone and demand my attention and why these two women actually thought it appropriate to defend him...

Afterwards I did ask myself if this was an attempt to distract me while one them would try to get something from my bag but even as it stands I was absolutely furious about these people's behaviour.

I am quite curious to hear how other people would have reacted.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 19/10/2022 12:05

Liz1tummypain · 19/10/2022 09:56

Wow! Funny that it's made its way onto the Daily Fail. You couldn't make this stuff up. Or maybe you could.

It's not the only story from MN in the Daily Mail today.

And there's a couple of other threads that are Fail plants if you ask me.

Redqueenheart · 19/10/2022 13:59

I can tell you that I am actually appalled that this has appeared in the Daily Hate as I despise everything that paper stands for.

It actually concerns me that journalists can just lift stories from threads like this.

It will make me think twice about posting anything else on Mumsnet.

That's for sure...

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 19/10/2022 14:10

OP - my car is in for it's MOT so I got the bus to the dentist today. Within a few minutes of waiting at the bus stop, a man was speaking to me, but asking me quite personal questions, did I live in X street, or XX street, as he hadn't seen me before. He was elderly but what in the actual F gives him the right to ask these questions with no other preamble as we certainly hadn't met before?!

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 19/10/2022 14:44

@pinkyredrose yep reported. Gave statements until 3am at the police compound at the festival.

pinkyredrose · 19/10/2022 15:19

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 19/10/2022 14:44

@pinkyredrose yep reported. Gave statements until 3am at the police compound at the festival.

How horrible for you all 😔 Hope they caught the guy.

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 19/10/2022 17:31

@pinkyredrose I'm not sure they did or that they had enough to go on. Lots of people looking the other way or finding it amusing or whatever.

Ahsoka2001 · 19/10/2022 17:36

Redqueenheart · 19/10/2022 13:59

I can tell you that I am actually appalled that this has appeared in the Daily Hate as I despise everything that paper stands for.

It actually concerns me that journalists can just lift stories from threads like this.

It will make me think twice about posting anything else on Mumsnet.

That's for sure...

Wow...this situation warranted 700 replies AND getting into a paper? Must've been a slow news day for them OP. I can't believe people are still commenting on this tbh

I'd forget this sort of incident 2 days after it happened to me

ilovesushi · 19/10/2022 22:22

Shame the Mail didn't focus on the personal safety aspect. Whoever recommended 'The Gift of Fear' book upthread, thank you! Will be ordering and sharing with DD.

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 19/10/2022 22:43

Well, you're still reading it and still commenting on it... You've posted at least twice saying pretty much the same thing.

EBearhug · 20/10/2022 01:31

Must've been a slow news day for them

It not like anything is happening in politics or anything...

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 21/10/2022 12:11

Ahsoka2001 · 19/10/2022 17:36

Wow...this situation warranted 700 replies AND getting into a paper? Must've been a slow news day for them OP. I can't believe people are still commenting on this tbh

I'd forget this sort of incident 2 days after it happened to me

On the contrary, I think it's a very important discussion. The message can't be dinged into women's ears long enough or loudly enough that they do NOT have to sacrifice their own safety, comfort, or reasonable wish to be left alone to go about their business, to the random male stranger who demands their time and attention as his by right.

I had one do this to me just yesterday. Oddly enough I thought he was making a 'witty' quip to his companion, who was standing behind me in a shop, especially given there was no eye contact whatsoever between us and I was completely absorbed in examining products on the shelves.

The next thing I heard was a whole lot of chuntering about 'not very nice ... blah blah blah ... not pleasant ... gah bleurgh yadder'. It wasn't until this sunk in several minutes later, once I'd selected and purchased the items I wanted, that it occurred to me he was passively addressing not his companion but the only other person on the premises; i.e. me. Made me laugh. Must be frustrating unleashing a whole lot of angst on someone whose attention was so entirely elsewhere they were oblivious to his rant.

But the reaction was telling. Women don't owe these entitled men our time or conversation.

neilyoungismyhero · 08/06/2023 17:26

I think you sounded pretty rude and snooty to be honest, hence the giggles from the 2 women when you moved. If you didn't want to engage with him perhaps you should have just moved earlier. I get he was irritating but you were rude.

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