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How many of you would be happy for your children once they reach adulthood to still live with you?

222 replies

Chloefairydust · 09/10/2022 19:39

Inspired by another thread about people not always being financially as able to leave home due to rising costs. How happy would you be for your child to still live with you if they are in their 30s?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

whoamI00 · 09/10/2022 21:13

but I would be worried if they find it comfortable because I want them to enjoy their independent lives as I enjoyed the freedom of living on my own very much.


Deadringer · 09/10/2022 21:14

I am happy for my dc to live with me for as long as they want to as long as it doesn't impact negatively on their social life/relationships or mine, they contribute to bills and do their bit in the house, and they are saving up with the intention of some day buying their own place.


lizziesiddal79 · 09/10/2022 21:15

Whilst there’s breath in my body, my home will always be my daughter’s home. I would be sad for her though if she were living with us in her 30s. All adults need their own space to grow and develop away from their parents. It’s not that I would mind: I mind for her.


stairgates · 09/10/2022 21:16

More than happy for mine to stay or come and go as they please, they are a lovely bunch and this will always be home.


TheChosenTwo · 09/10/2022 21:16

They’ve always got a room in our house. However I would like to think that at 30 they will be living independently and not at home.
Eldest has just gone to uni and I’m sure she’ll be living back home again once she’s finished in a few years time. I left home for good and the age she is and never looked back, never lived at home again.


RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 09/10/2022 21:17

I do not want to ever be without my DS, 6. He can stay for as long as he wants. The more the merrier and the longer the better.


noideabutstilltrying · 09/10/2022 21:18

I am so worried about what my teens are going to do. We live in Suffolk and wages aren't great and to rent/buy is extortionate.

I'm in my 40s and struggling to cover all bills.

I'm in no rush to push my children out the door. They're welcome to stay for as long as they need


PurplRainDancer · 09/10/2022 21:19

My DC are welcome to ‘live at home’ as long as they want to.


Hbh17 · 09/10/2022 21:21

Absolutely not. Young people need to cut the apron strings and learn to become independent.


StripeyMow · 09/10/2022 21:26

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I’d feel like a failure if I posted something as tone deaf and judgemental as this. I’m glad I don’t live in such a small minded neighbourhood.


StarDolphins · 09/10/2022 21:28

This would’ve bothered me years ago but not now. My DD is welcome to stay for as long as she wants. I had it easy so was able to buy my own flat & live very well at 21. Those times have gone.


AliceMcK · 09/10/2022 21:30

Fully depends on the set up.

Cousins 35yo DS lives with her, separated from his wife, has a young child. My cousin can no longer work due to medical reasons, they get on really well, have always been close. Him contributing helps her, she gets time with her grandchild and has a loud house which she’s loves. Her adult DD has also lived with her in the past.

My adult niece, 26 lives with her parents, again they are close, always spend a lot of time as a family together. Her and her DM go on holidays with my other niece and shopping weekends together, they all work together (family business) so it’s convenient transport wise. She regularly stays with her DP but no desire to move out, it works for them. Her sister moved out when she went to uni and although works for the family business choose not to move back home because that worked for her.

I left home at 18, went back briefly twice, 20 & 23 absolutely hated it but needed to at the time. I couldn’t think of anything worse than living with my parents, particularly my toxic M. Had I had the relationship my cousin and brother have with their children then I may well have stayed home longer.


maeveiscurious · 09/10/2022 21:32

I'm fine with them living me until they are established


Benjispruce4 · 09/10/2022 21:34

DD1 is 22 has just left after graduation this summer. We were happy for her to stay a while but she was offered a good job and needed to move. We all get in better than when she was home


worriedniece · 09/10/2022 21:34

Depends what my children are like when they are older. We don't really have enough space for two adult children though, but I would be happy whilst they are in their 20s but prefer for them to have moved out when late 20s onwards


StripeyMow · 09/10/2022 21:36

Some parents of SEND children can only dream of their children will achieve such a level of independence. I will do my very best to equip my child with the means to thrive, however that looks and I will always provide a safety net if needed. There shouldn’t be a time limit on loving and supporting your child. If I can, I will.


Adultchildofelderlyparents · 09/10/2022 21:38

I'd happily have them live with me as long as they wanted to stay, so long as they were making the effort to work and live their life rather than just festering.


Kamia · 09/10/2022 21:39

Yes but I would want my child to clean up after themselves and help pay some bills. I would not want my child out there struggling if cost of living is too high.


popthecb · 09/10/2022 21:39

oldestmumaintheworld · 09/10/2022 19:50

Leaving home is a rite of passage for children and parents and I believe is essential for both of them to have a healthy adult relationship. It's difficult if your child is disabled or has special needs but even then most will get there in the end.

The only way my severely autistic DS will ever live away from me is if his hitting and strength prove life threatening to me

Otherwise he's here to stay


HighlandPony · 09/10/2022 21:39

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RoseMartha · 09/10/2022 21:39

Thank you. I hope so.


KangarooKenny · 09/10/2022 21:40

I wish mine would come home 😢 but if they did they’d want en-suites and their own lounge !


AlwaysLatte · 09/10/2022 21:40

If they truly wanted to then great, their rooms will always be their rooms anyway. But I hope they'll have bought their own houses by then!


Pinetreesfall · 09/10/2022 21:41

I see it from both sides. My mum convinced me not to go to uni so I stayed at home. My parents then imposed rules like I had to be home by 11pm (I was working in a bar so impossible) and was never allowed anyone to stay.
I left home at 18 because it was impossible to stay and lived in some really rough places after. I have never been able to afford to save to buy and will likely rent forever.

However, one of DH'a family members still lives at home at nearly 50 and another has NEVER left home at nearly 40. No additional needs. I think that's well just a bit...odd...


SnarkyBag · 09/10/2022 21:43

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I think you missed the point there but never mind

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