AIBU?
How many of you would be happy for your children once they reach adulthood to still live with you?
Chloefairydust · 09/10/2022 19:39
Inspired by another thread about people not always being financially as able to leave home due to rising costs. How happy would you be for your child to still live with you if they are in their 30s?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Deadringer · 09/10/2022 21:14
I am happy for my dc to live with me for as long as they want to as long as it doesn't impact negatively on their social life/relationships or mine, they contribute to bills and do their bit in the house, and they are saving up with the intention of some day buying their own place.
lizziesiddal79 · 09/10/2022 21:15
Whilst there’s breath in my body, my home will always be my daughter’s home. I would be sad for her though if she were living with us in her 30s. All adults need their own space to grow and develop away from their parents. It’s not that I would mind: I mind for her.
TheChosenTwo · 09/10/2022 21:16
They’ve always got a room in our house. However I would like to think that at 30 they will be living independently and not at home.
Eldest has just gone to uni and I’m sure she’ll be living back home again once she’s finished in a few years time. I left home for good and the age she is and never looked back, never lived at home again.
noideabutstilltrying · 09/10/2022 21:18
I am so worried about what my teens are going to do. We live in Suffolk and wages aren't great and to rent/buy is extortionate.
I'm in my 40s and struggling to cover all bills.
I'm in no rush to push my children out the door. They're welcome to stay for as long as they need
StripeyMow · 09/10/2022 21:26
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I’d feel like a failure if I posted something as tone deaf and judgemental as this. I’m glad I don’t live in such a small minded neighbourhood.
AliceMcK · 09/10/2022 21:30
Fully depends on the set up.
Cousins 35yo DS lives with her, separated from his wife, has a young child. My cousin can no longer work due to medical reasons, they get on really well, have always been close. Him contributing helps her, she gets time with her grandchild and has a loud house which she’s loves. Her adult DD has also lived with her in the past.
My adult niece, 26 lives with her parents, again they are close, always spend a lot of time as a family together. Her and her DM go on holidays with my other niece and shopping weekends together, they all work together (family business) so it’s convenient transport wise. She regularly stays with her DP but no desire to move out, it works for them. Her sister moved out when she went to uni and although works for the family business choose not to move back home because that worked for her.
I left home at 18, went back briefly twice, 20 & 23 absolutely hated it but needed to at the time. I couldn’t think of anything worse than living with my parents, particularly my toxic M. Had I had the relationship my cousin and brother have with their children then I may well have stayed home longer.
StripeyMow · 09/10/2022 21:36
Some parents of SEND children can only dream of their children will achieve such a level of independence. I will do my very best to equip my child with the means to thrive, however that looks and I will always provide a safety net if needed. There shouldn’t be a time limit on loving and supporting your child. If I can, I will.
popthecb · 09/10/2022 21:39
oldestmumaintheworld · 09/10/2022 19:50
Leaving home is a rite of passage for children and parents and I believe is essential for both of them to have a healthy adult relationship. It's difficult if your child is disabled or has special needs but even then most will get there in the end.
The only way my severely autistic DS will ever live away from me is if his hitting and strength prove life threatening to me
Otherwise he's here to stay
HighlandPony · 09/10/2022 21:39
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Pinetreesfall · 09/10/2022 21:41
I see it from both sides. My mum convinced me not to go to uni so I stayed at home. My parents then imposed rules like I had to be home by 11pm (I was working in a bar so impossible) and was never allowed anyone to stay.
I left home at 18 because it was impossible to stay and lived in some really rough places after. I have never been able to afford to save to buy and will likely rent forever.
However, one of DH'a family members still lives at home at nearly 50 and another has NEVER left home at nearly 40. No additional needs. I think that's well just a bit...odd...
SnarkyBag · 09/10/2022 21:43
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I think you missed the point there but never mind
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