Why do women hate an OW?

[Oatmealbiscuits]

When a woman is seeing a married man, why do people say they wouldn't want her as a friend, in their lives anymore etc? Why are they judged solely on one thing when there may be so many other positives to their character.

I'm curious really, for the record I'm not an other woman, but my friend is. It's her business and I shall be there when the shit inevitably hits the fan.

If some posters on here had their way, she wouldn't have friends and would be isolated and lonely. I just don't think anyone deserves that when in reality it's the man who has taken vows.

Lack of morals

Disrespectful
No morals
Untrustworthy

Basically the opposite of what you look for in a friend

Why are they judged solely on one thing when there may be so many other positives to their character.

Same reason as I don't want to be friends with racists or homophobes or people who are very right wing. We have completely different moral compasses.

Personally I’d never touch another woman’s bloke.

Women need to be united with each other and support each other. Build each other up.

Being the OW ain’t it.

So no, not someone I’d be friends with.

100% this

Internalised misogyny. It’s easier to blame OW, a stranger to you, than admit to the fact that your “D”H, that you love, is a cunt and not who you thought he was.

Easier to hate someone you don't have a relationship with

Because they have the morals of an alley cat.
They're selfish and greedy and as long as they're getting what they want then to hell with the wife and kids.
I apply that to both sexes and all concerned.

I would not want to be friends with someone who was knowingly fucking up someone else's life and family.

But she has broken the girl code!
I would of agreed with you when I was younger but now I am older I think the OW does have a responsibility not to get involved with a married man.
Yes the husband should take 100% blame but that doesn't mean the OW is innocent, especially if there are children involved. But if it wasn't her it would be someone else since some men are just dogs!!

Because it says a lot about a person if they’re happy to be the OW. They have no respect for themselves or the poor wife/partner of the man. They have no issue with potentially ruining a family unit and in general I can’t see how they can be a nice person! Yes the man took the vows but doesn’t mean the woman is blameless!

This. Same for male or female

No idea. My friend has had a relationship with a married man. I don’t think any less of her, other than wanting her to have more respect.

I wouldn’t go out to dinner or socialise with them, which is fine because they don’t really go out very much. But she is still my friend.

We're talking about people who would ditch an OW as a friend, not strangers who men cheat with.

DM lost her husband to an OW. I blame him of course but also her - she knew he was married, knew he was going home to his wife before he finally left in the dead of night. She knew what she was doing to another woman.

Would you feel the same if she was sleeping with your husband or your brother in law? complete lack of morals

I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who was the other man or woman.

There's a whole range of OW though - I would be wary of someone who was actively trying to break up a marriage, I don't think that's a great personality trait. But there are lots of other situations which aren't quite so black and white.

This I agree.

Some women don’t realise the man is married. The man knows he is married but chooses to cheat

Yet who is vilified more? She is

She should have known apparently

Because it's a shit thing to knowingly do.

I was in fact cheated on in my marriage, I spoke to the woman involved, clearly we would never have been besties but it was respectful as she didn't owe me anything.

Of course it changes things if it was my partner, because then she would owe me respect as a friend, she's not a stranger.

It makes me sad to see the dislike. I can dislike someone's actions without disliking them. My friend was also cheated on, and feels safer this way as she thinks she won't get hurt again, I've tried to say she will anyway but she needs therapy for that. I don't think she's a bad person.

My exdh had an affair, it was the reason our marriage ended. He was the one who cheated, and the OW knew he was married, I don't blame her but I do struggle to understand why she willingly dated a married man..........her exdh had left her for another woman so she knew how it felt to be cheated on.

Women are subject to different rules and standards. Sadly a number of women are (on some level) quite hostile to their own sex. I never hear any criticism of the OM and there are plenty of them out there. For some, having a husband is a sort of possession, it’s almost a territorial thing. The OW threatens the wife’s status and it is easier to blame her than to examine the quality of the relationship between the spouses and the failure of the husband to be honest and faithful. It’s also true that people make mistakes and do stupid things but it’s so much easier to condemn the OW, rather in the same way that step mothers are always ‘wicked’. Promiscuous women are whores. Promiscuous men are virile and playboys.

Because it would mean that we have very different morals, I don’t feel that I could be friends with someone having an affair with a married man especially if children involved too.

Someone(not a friend) in my life was the OW and I’ve never felt the same way about them since.

Why are they judged solely on one thing when there may be so many other positives to their character.

Because lying and knowingly & intentionally hurting another person are really shitty traits that far outweigh any good traits they may/may not have.