Husband won’t turn the heating on, but goes on a massive night out

[Willywonkamum]

Cost of living crisis, soaring energy bills..you know the score. DH is very much of the “put on another jumper” type (ps I’m already wearing one, thick socks and slippers in the house, on occasion a jacket), all on the pretence that we need to be cautious with bills etc. but I feel like this is the only area of his life he is frugal with, meanwhile he pays for rounds of drinks after work, going out for lunch everyday when working in the office, whilst I suppose my work doesn’t have that culture. I suppose my argument is, well maybe if you didn’t spend all that money on beers/took a pack lunch to work every once in a while then we could put the heating on, so that I’m not sitting working from home with a hot water bottle. Please feel free to tell me I am being unreasonable but I just don’t feel we are aligned on the financial priorities….what do I do?

Put the heating on.

Talk to him - come up with a clear budget for these things and put the heating on

Don’t you pay for the heating too? If you want to put it on just put it on, I wouldn’t be asking permission in my own home, why do you think this is his decision to make?

Put the heating on, he's being selfish and ridiculous.

Several things to consider:
How much is he spending every month on himself - ie lunch everyday and after work drinks? Have you sat down and discussed the household outgoings properly? Is he of the mindset that it's fine for him to spend eg £150 pcm on himself, but you should be cold in the house?

Just turn the heating on and explain to him that if he's worried about money he needs to cut right down on buying other people drinks. He is being an idiot v

You need to discuss budget and priorities. I don’t mind layering up when I’m along WFH but will not have it cold here when my kids are here.

Tell him this not us!!

absolutely NBU

Put the fecking heating on, he can make cuts in his budget.

Especially as your WFH

Do you both have equal personal money? If so, his spending should come out his personal money. With regards to the heating, you both live in the house - if you are cold, put the heating on.

lunch out everyday is such an extravagance! Tell him he needs to pack his lunch.

Put the heating on and get him told that there's plenty of ways that he can be economising.
PS a couple of years ago I bought myself a heated throw, it's wonderful and really helps keeps the bill down.

Question for those living with partners/families. How does everyone do a family budget? I wonder if we need to create a joint account for all shared bills, mortgage, nursery fees etc and each pay the same in monthly? Or say 75% of our monthly earnings each. We both have good jobs (he earns a fair bit more.) possibly that might help for my growing feelings of resentment….

It's only early October. I highly doubt you're sat there with thick socks, thick jumpers, slippers and hot water bottles while still being cold enough to need the heating on. Do you have a medical problem?

I'm on your husbands side here.

Putting the heating on is basic, going out for drinks and buying lunch are luxuries. Does he realise this?

I have been!!!

Yes that's exactly what we do and then we have a similar amount left for ourselves. That way if he wants to burn his on lunches out it doesn't impact on you.

Both partners should have equal ‘fun money’ so everything else goes on bills and essentials.

@Grandeur i have been too, currently sat with thick socks and slippers but can't feel my toes or fingers and I have a red nose! Not putting the heating on til tonight, I'm determined!

Just put the heating on.

Where on earth do you live that you need a jumper, thick socks, a jacket and hot water bottle?

Not that it matters really. Just put the heating on.

You don't even know where in the country she is grandeur. Its lovely where I am but I don't assume everyone on mumsnet lives in my neck of the woods.

Plus sitting at a desk WFH is much colder than being active doing housework/running around after kids.

Wtf op? Seriously, wtf?
Why, on earth, would he get the only way over the heating?
And, why, on earth, does he not put far more in to the costs if he earns more and you have children?
This is actually absurd.

It's been cold working in my house the last couple of weeks. I've really wrapped up. I would be more comfortable with the heating on but am being frugal in all areas. It is cold enough to put the heating on if there's money to spare for luxuries.

Scotland….😂