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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher’s assistant lying 🤥

229 replies

Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 01:35

So I was waiting to pick up my child and saw another mum who is always pushing in, at the school queue, in front of my child.

I saw her do it again in the morning and while waiting to pick up our children, I told her I saw her doing it again and asked her not to do it. She waved her hand at me and told me ‘you’ve got a problem’. The next morning the headteacher asked me to come in and asked ‘why was I making another parent cry’. I told her what was said but she said that the teacher’s assistant ( who wasn’t there at the time) reported me.
I tried to talk to the assistant and told her that I wasn’t yelling and the other mum wasn’t crying but she said she saw her crying and that ‘we have to agree to disagree’. I am gobsmacked and how do I deal with lying? Why would she lie?

What should I do?
AIBU - let it go
AINBU- complain

OP posts:
LHReturns · 08/10/2022 01:36

That would REALLY piss me off. But probably don’t escalate it. Will quadruple the anxiety….

LondonQueen · 08/10/2022 01:37

Let it go.

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 01:38

How do you know she didn’t see her crying. The other mum could have gone running to her with the waterworks after you left? I’d probably go at it with the other mum again rather than the TA. But I’m a bitch and it probably won’t help you to do that either

DramaAlpaca · 08/10/2022 01:44

Let it go

Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 01:45

I didn’t see her cry. Also she is one of those pushy mums who pushes children around. Very thick skin/ no shame, I really don’t think she would be crying.

OP posts:
Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 01:49

Also, I spoke to the other mum about it before, I really don’t like it when an adult pushes children around, especially my child. She didn’t cry before. I only told her that I saw her doing it again and ask her to refrain doing it to my DD.

OP posts:
steff13 · 08/10/2022 01:51

Just because you didn't see her crying, it doesn't mean the TA didn't see her crying. What motivation would the TA have to lie?

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/10/2022 01:55

That sounds rubbish op. She’s just been given the green light to continue. Is it not possible to block her path?

Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 01:56

steff13 · 08/10/2022 01:51

Just because you didn't see her crying, it doesn't mean the TA didn't see her crying. What motivation would the TA have to lie?

Exactly! I am gobsmacked.
I know the other mum is very pushy and also the pick-up lasts a few seconds, not sure she would even manage to cry so quickly. Also we were both there at the same time, I would have seen it.

OP posts:
HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 02:03

Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 01:45

I didn’t see her cry. Also she is one of those pushy mums who pushes children around. Very thick skin/ no shame, I really don’t think she would be crying.

I don’t mean she was crying because she was genuinely upset. I mean turning in the waterworks to get her own way with the TA.

Readytoplay · 08/10/2022 02:17

YANBU, but I have voted that you are purely because I don’t think complaining will do anything. Op she's the one with a problem, not you. sorry to hear this is happening to you. Also your headteacher sounds ridiculous.
I mean really did he actually say why did you make a grown adult cry!😬

Madagascary · 08/10/2022 02:18

You sound about 5. Move on

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 08/10/2022 02:24

I’d be more annoyed as to why the head teacher believes this is a issue for her to intervene with.

pollyglot · 08/10/2022 02:54

Quite frankly, WTAF was some mother running and telling tales? And WTAF was the Head getting involved? You're all supposed to be adults!!!

Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 03:14

I know it’s ridiculous! The Headteacher threatened to ban me from the school! Said we can’t be fighting on the school grounds! But it wasn’t really a fight 😳 I was reported as yelling and making the other mum cry.

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 08/10/2022 03:15

Is the TA friends with the pushy mum?

I does seem bizarre.

Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 03:19

The Headteacher is so ridiculous, makes us sign the naughty book if our child is 1 minute late. Now this!
Should I report the school to Ofsted, surely they should call in the one who muscles in on small children?

OP posts:
QueenCamilla · 08/10/2022 03:25

This is completely over the top.
You guys need to learn eye-rolling and tutting 😁

SpidersAreShitheads · 08/10/2022 03:30

Sorry, just to be clear, you want to report the school to OFSTED because you had a scrap with another parent and they don't believe your version of it? Or because there's a parent pushing in the queue in the playground and you're not happy the school isn't clamping down on queue-pushing sufficiently?

Either way, absolutely bloody not.

glitterfarts · 08/10/2022 03:31

Move school now. We had a power tripping nightmare of head teacher at a cofe primary. She just got worse as the kids got older. So glad we're out of the school. When local recommendations are asked for, it's never given one. All the good teachers leave and move on quickly.

Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 03:34

SpidersAreShitheads · 08/10/2022 03:30

Sorry, just to be clear, you want to report the school to OFSTED because you had a scrap with another parent and they don't believe your version of it? Or because there's a parent pushing in the queue in the playground and you're not happy the school isn't clamping down on queue-pushing sufficiently?

Either way, absolutely bloody not.

Because the safeguarding. They are letting adults push children around. That woman ‘handled’ my child a few times.
Also I don’t know what to do or say about the lying TA. It’s just bizarre.

OP posts:
BertaHoon · 08/10/2022 03:45

Safeguarding.

Hehe.

ImustLearn2Cook · 08/10/2022 03:46

@Babycakes6

Taking what you have posted here on face value, I think you should get some legal advice if you can.

False accusation levelled at you, defamation of your character, threats to ban you from the school your child attends and an adult manhandling/pushing your child and basically being given a green light to continue that behaviour by actively shutting you down and preventing you from being able to protect your child.

Have I summarised that right? Because if this is what is happening then I think you need to protect yourself and your child before it escalates into something worse.

Original poster
Babycakes6 · 08/10/2022 03:51

glitterfarts · 08/10/2022 03:31

Move school now. We had a power tripping nightmare of head teacher at a cofe primary. She just got worse as the kids got older. So glad we're out of the school. When local recommendations are asked for, it's never given one. All the good teachers leave and move on quickly.

It is a CofE primary! Hope it’s not the same school/ head/ lying TA.
I agree, best to move school, but I am also thinking of reporting them as they are not really handling the safeguarding issues/ concerns well. The head said they didn’t see it.

OP posts:
UmmMaryam2019 · 08/10/2022 04:06

Surely your not the only parent to witness this mums aggressive nature towards the children. Could you get other parents to complain about her?