Teacher’s assistant lying 🤥

[Babycakes6]

So I was waiting to pick up my child and saw another mum who is always pushing in, at the school queue, in front of my child.

I saw her do it again in the morning and while waiting to pick up our children, I told her I saw her doing it again and asked her not to do it. She waved her hand at me and told me ‘you’ve got a problem’. The next morning the headteacher asked me to come in and asked ‘why was I making another parent cry’. I told her what was said but she said that the teacher’s assistant ( who wasn’t there at the time) reported me.
I tried to talk to the assistant and told her that I wasn’t yelling and the other mum wasn’t crying but she said she saw her crying and that ‘we have to agree to disagree’. I am gobsmacked and how do I deal with lying? Why would she lie?

What should I do?
AIBU - let it go
AINBU- complain

I actually know someone who did complain last year, but I forgot to mention it and the head said (pretended?) she didn’t know about it.
I was actually trying to find someone to testify I didn’t shout and the other mum didn’t cry.

Whether the other mum cried is irrelevant and ridiculous.

If someone is pushing children, you need to report to the head. Every time. If nothing is done, then escalate using the complaints procedure.

But is she actually pushing them? I'm not sure from your descriptions. You began with "pushing in." Then you've used the vague word "manhandling." Are children being physically assaulted by an adult outside school? Touching a person is not assault, though I would not like a random parent to be touching my child, granted.

Why is the other parent moving your child? I can't get the scenario. Don't you all just get your own children?

Kids have to line up. She comes over and pushes my child and inserts herself and her child in the queue. She never goes to the back of
the queue. But it’s always my child she pushes to get herself in!
I have never seen any parent in the queue for children, totally ridiculous.

I don’t think other children would let her, but my DD does, she just moves when pushed.

Sorry still makes no sense. If she has her child why is she in line? This must be an English thing 😀Hope you get it sorted. Turn up early?

Also, once she came to a dance performance for our children late. She could only get a back seat, so she came up the front where my daughter was sitting and she pushed my daughter to make a space for her daughter (my daughter had to share her seat).

Yeah, moving and pushing still aren't the same. It doesn't sound as if your daughter is the victim of assault. However, if she is targeting your child, then you should raise this with the headteacher. Did you raise it when they asked you about the "crying?"

Am I the only one here who is thinking WTAF is a school queue?

And how or why do you push into it?

I've had 3 kids go through school, and have no idea what this thread is about....

The TA either saw you shouting and the other women being upset afterwards and you are in denial or she is mates with pushy Mum. Just stand back and if pushy Mum keeps being pushy then ask the head to come and watch. I can't really picture this situation though, how is she pushing kids out the way? We just stand in the playground and the kids come to us.

There HAS to be more to this. Do you have prior form for causing upset in the playground, and that is why the Head has spoken to you?

And why would the TA lie?

I'm so confused.

What is the queue for?

I'm having a hard time understanding this as well, don't the children just get dropped off at the school gate, and go in when the bell rings? I haven't had to drop kids off for a while. To my understanding there shouldn't be any adults in the school yard.

Yes you should report. The headteacher is threatening to ban you when you did nothing wrong. Is this how she would treat a kid if another complained about her - no chance to hear the other side and give her punishments ? Sounds like she is on a power trip

This is a place where kids go to learn. An adult pushing kids and then another unfairly blaming me you while no regards for hearing you or kids being pushed should not be accepted.

It's not your problem to figure out TA's motivation.

I don't understand the scenario either?
If you're picking your kids up surely the adults are outside the gates and the kids are inside queuing up or whatever? If that's not the case and she's inside, why is she queuing up with the children when her child is presumably right there?

Confusing story aside. The TA did nothing wrong. Quite rightly, she's reported an incident she's been told about, presumably by this other parent, who may have hammed things up a bit and turned the waterworks on. Your issue lies with a lying parent and a heavy handed head that didn't get all the faces right. Not the TA's fault.

Well presumably they’ll be keeping an eye on you now, and by default, her as well so the upside is that it’s unlikely to happen again as she wouldn’t dare.

Could you stand in line with your daughter to protect her, especially as you are being watched?

Could you work on your child to build their confidence?

You say she doesn't do it to other children as they stand their ground.

Your daughter I presume (dance recital update) needs to be confident enough to say go to the end of the line or no skipping preferably in front of the teacher.

If she is physically moving your daughter needs the confidence to say in front of the teacher to this parent 'do not push me'

I think your daughter is quiet so easy target.

On a completely different note this make her a target for bullying in later years

I don’t think the issue here is the TA lying it’s the frankly bizarre pushing - I just cannot see any scenario where that would happen more than once and not be dealt with

If she is the only parent in the line it sounds like her child neefs support to go in and this has been agreed with the school.
She might be finding things stressful and cried.
They wouldnt discuss with anyone else and tbh you are enbarrassing yourself here.
Stop being combative to other parents and focus on your own child.
Things arent always how they seem.

I don't get why you didn't use the teacher asking you what happened to resolve the issue. Rather than saying "I didn't make her cry" why would you not say "we had words because she pushes children". The teacher would then deal with the more serious issue. Instead you've just acted childishly.

Surely if there is a parent pushing another child at pickup daily there will be other parents/teachers who have witnessed this too?

In my experience this won't be resolved until secondary school my son was constantly mauled pushed around by a boy and his mother secondary school comes around this child approaches mine in the queue and says his usual "move" mine said no the shock on this child's face he told my son he wasn't "being kind" and he should move son said no again the parents arnt allowed around at secondary so he had zero adult back up he went to the back of the queue and changed schools (not just because of this obviously)

Tell your child to shout loudly-"ow, stop pushing me"?

Or would that get her into trouble?

So there#s a queue of kids & she gets in the queue?

Diagram needed!

Let it go please. There could be a good reason why she 'jumps the queue'. Maybe her child has sen or hates groups of parents and children. I say this as a parent who's child really hated all the stress and noise of kids waiting to get in and out of school. He used to go right in in the morning and first out in afternoon, I never jumped the queue, in fact my kids school have never really had a queue. The parents just seem to dot themselves around the playground and the kids go in and out. I don't get why queueing is needed.