Teacher’s assistant lying 🤥

[Babycakes6]

So I was waiting to pick up my child and saw another mum who is always pushing in, at the school queue, in front of my child.

I saw her do it again in the morning and while waiting to pick up our children, I told her I saw her doing it again and asked her not to do it. She waved her hand at me and told me ‘you’ve got a problem’. The next morning the headteacher asked me to come in and asked ‘why was I making another parent cry’. I told her what was said but she said that the teacher’s assistant ( who wasn’t there at the time) reported me.
I tried to talk to the assistant and told her that I wasn’t yelling and the other mum wasn’t crying but she said she saw her crying and that ‘we have to agree to disagree’. I am gobsmacked and how do I deal with lying? Why would she lie?

What should I do?
AIBU - let it go
AINBU- complain

That lady is pushing in mums friend obviously.

You could put in a subject access request from the date before the incident until now to see what emails or messages have been passed around the school with your name and your DD's name on. You never know, you may be able to read something describing the playground discussion from the TAs side of things or perhaps an email from the Headteacher. It may be useful when you are having future discussions with staff at the school in case they have made derogatory comments about you.

It would be very silly and unprofessional of them to have done this, however not everyone fully understands GDPR and the fact you can request everything with your name on it or referring to you. Be aware though it's a massive job for school staff to compile so only request it if you genuinely think dodgy things could have been said about you in writing following the incident in the playground with the other mother.

But you don't actually know, do you? Just because you didn't see it or you don't think she would be doesn't mean she didn't approach the assistant after you left and then turn the waterworks on. She might have gone back after to play the victim.

You can't ignore this as you maybe banned!! But don't know why there are queues in your school!! Tell your child to tell the teacher when this woman pushes her out of the way too. Its a bizarre scenario.

@Babycakes6 I’m sorry to say that you’re not going to get the result you want if you push this. They’re obviously all pals and couldn’t care less. Either move your daughter or just get her to queue at the back.

You're not wrong for being annoyed but complaining officially or to Ofsted is way OTT. Just let it go and avoid the other parent as much as possible. There are parents like that at every school gate and they quickly become unpopular with other parents. There's a very pushy and unreasonable mother at my granddaughter's school and if I do pick-up I literally make sure I have my back to her. I know a lot of the mums and dads dislike her too.

You need to raise this issue via the governors of the school and bypass the headteacher to get an independent review.

Testify? Are you trying out the plot for some kind of undercover crime at the school gates novel?

And also you don't safeguard people in a line in and out of school. But it certainly sounds like all the children would benefit from a parent free zone. But look forward to seeing the full story in 'Take a Break' or wherever

You def need to report your issue. This other mum is pushing kids around and that's not on. If she cried cos you called her out, that's just tough.
Don't know if the TA is a friends of hers, but you do need to be firm that this is about the children not anything else.

I'd try to film it if I was you using your phone. There's no denying it happening if its on camera...

Make it the heads problem, no adult should be laying hands on a child…. Technically can be construed as an assault. After two reports you can withhold the child from school and go to the LEA and ask for another school due to safeguarding concerns.

Always 2 sides to a story.

To be honest, I don’t see it as a physical assault, more as a ‘psychological assault’ / bullying.
It doesn’t help that the last year report I received was that my daughter was ‘scared of adults’ and has a low self confidence because she never puts her hands up in the class. I now think that this woman is where ‘scared of adults’ comes from.

DD was 7 too. They're now late teens and wouldn't put up with someone shouting now!

I did actually switch schools myself in the end, not specifically due to this but it was the first of several really badly managed situations with both my DCs. And both were far happier when they moved.

Make a complaint to the head teacher Say you will not tolerate bullying or being lied about And that you found her behaviour concerning that 1..one she lied 2. And a sister reported you without haven’t seen anything and was disparaging toward you 3. You’re not happy about the other mum being able to push in

I meant teachers assistant not sister!

This was my first thought!

So, she's not pushing your daughter?

I feel like you are trolling us, because nobody would put up with their child being push about by another adult. If this bizarre version of events is taking place then you need to do better as a mother to stop this from happening.

Jus a TA’s point of view, but I recently got accused of dragging a child across the playground by a parent at hometime.
This couldn’t have been further from the truth… the child in question realised they had forgotten something as we were in our line to the children's pick up point. I told them to go back to the classroom to get it, which they did. We then had to catch up with the rest of the class and negotiate the crowds of people who insist on crowding round the door, making it difficult to keep an eye on them.

I held their hand and guided them through the crowd, (albeit rushing them through). The person who saw this decided I was “dragging” their child!!! A child I get on well with.
When the head told me this, the next day, I was aghast and so upset that someone would say that about me… I’ve never dragged a child in my life!!!. Luckily, I was backed up in this.

I just want you to understand that sometimes, things are not what they seem.
I’m certainly very wary now 🫤

So she isn’t pushing a child at all then? She’s pushing into a queue?

Yes, she moves my child physically out of the way, with her hand, to insert herself in the queue.
At the school dance her daughter put her foot on my DD’s chair and mum leaned forward, they were pushing her away, trying to take her chair.

At the beginning I thought she was just rude, pushing kids out of the way. However, most of the time it’s my DD, so I am also afraid it has become bullying. My DD doesn’t fight back, just moves away when pushed to let them in, whereas I witnessed another girl saying a lound no, standing her ground and wasn’t push further.
That’s what I’m working on at the moment. My child has to learn to yell out loud- it’s the only way to deal with this.
I have sent a letter to the Head, suggested to ban adults from the lineup or install a CCTV to review the line up footage, so she can see what I’m talking about.
It’s impossible for one teacher to oversee 30 kids in a queue, while getting swamped by parents and their questions.

Could you please tell this to the Headteacher.

It really is not normal my child is pushed out of the way. It’s a quick push to get herself and her child in a queue but still it’s an adult pushing a child away.

Do you think that TA just thought she saw her crying? TA was in the class and we were outside, there are windows looking out. She might have been looking through the window to see the other mum waving her hands at me and moving away from me and concluded it was a fight?
I get what you are saying, but not sure that was the case. 🤔

Complain about her say she physically assaulted you when she pushed in. She is a bully and needs to be dealt with!