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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still hold this party if Covid ++?

193 replies

Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:19

DP has a 40 coming up and we’re having a party - 40/50 people at ours. A couple of friends now have Covid, though should be fine by birthday time.
DP and I were discussing what would happen if either of us were ++ - do we still go ahead? We have events in the run up plus kids in school and we know it’s spiking/spreading.

but UK now just says - get on with it. Don’t even test. Is that right? If someone’s worried or vulnerable they wouldn’t come anyway.

YANBU - just have the party - life goes on

YABU - you have to cancel if someone in the household has COvID, morally if not legally.

OP posts:
TigerRag · 05/10/2022 07:20

Just because the government says it's ok, doesn't mean it is. Cases are rising.

ItsNotReallyChaos · 05/10/2022 07:21

If you go ahead you'd have to forewarn your guests at the very least.

Heronwatcher · 05/10/2022 07:22

I don’t think you have to cancel but you absolutely must tell everyone who is due to come.

AceofPentacles · 05/10/2022 07:22

What if you feel like utter shit as many do with covid?

Original poster
Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:23

I suppose my Q is - if you think you have Covid and feel okay, are you honestly going to self isolate or do we just treat it like a cold or flu??

OP posts:
Untitledsquatboulder · 05/10/2022 07:23

Well I think you are morally obliged to at least tell people if you are positive, and let them decide if it's a risk they are happy to take. Ime people would still rather avoid it if they can.

Lurkerlot · 05/10/2022 07:23

it would be selfish to continue

familyissues12345 · 05/10/2022 07:24

I would cancel personally, but if not at least warn people! I'd warn people even if I had a cold/flu

Whinge · 05/10/2022 07:24

Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:23

I suppose my Q is - if you think you have Covid and feel okay, are you honestly going to self isolate or do we just treat it like a cold or flu??

I'm guessing you've never had the flu? Confused

I've had it twice, and the last thing I wanted to do was host a party.

Untitledsquatboulder · 05/10/2022 07:24

Well I wouldn't host a party if I had flu, or drag myself into the office to infect my colleagues. And if someone invited me over but told me they had flu I wouldn't go.

Original poster
Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:26

We would absolutely tell every one, and yes obvs if one of us is laid up in bed that would be different.just as if one of us came down with bad flu or similar.
But so far we’ve had it several times between us and it’s been like a cold.

OP posts:
Canthinkofaname79 · 05/10/2022 07:26

I've currently got Covid, I've not had it before, had all my jabs but I feel horrendous. I wouldn't inflict this om anyone.

Enidcat5 · 05/10/2022 07:26

My colleague died earlier this year from covid. It's still dangerous for some people. let people know who are coming

HighlandPony · 05/10/2022 07:27

Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:23

I suppose my Q is - if you think you have Covid and feel okay, are you honestly going to self isolate or do we just treat it like a cold or flu??

I caught covid 11 weeks ago while 36 weeks pregnant. Ended up a GA section. We both nearly died. Just cancel the bloody party. As for what the current gang of Tory fuckwits are saying it doesn’t matter. They’ve proven in every other way they’re useless so why would this be any different?

Lunabun · 05/10/2022 07:27

If you tell people and they still want to come, no problems. Probably some people won't care.

But if you were my friend and I found out you'd deliberately not told me you had covid and then exposed me to it, I'd honestly not speak to you again. I have particular circumstances right now which would make getting covid a very bad idea. Do not assume you know everything about your friends' medical lives.

notdaddycool · 05/10/2022 07:28

Had it last week, government advice is still to isolate at home for 5 days, I don’t think isolating at home includes bringing 40 people in. You don’t know all their medical histories and certainly not those of everyone they are in contact with. If I was warmed in summer for an outside event I might just come, in winter, inside, I wouldn’t. Frankly I’d just postpone.

Givenuptotally · 05/10/2022 07:29

If you are symptomatic and you know there are people attending who are vulnerable, those people need to know so they can make their own decisions. They don’t need a covid test, just a ‘we know you’re worried about covid, we have bad colds and sore throats’. The suggestion that those who are vulnerable simply should avoid attending anything where people might be is unacceptable because of the isolation and distress it causes. And it pretty much removes the over 50s from normal life. I admit, however, at this time of year, being in a public space inevitably means you are going to be sharing air with people with a cold!

As an aside, Wasn’t there an article yesterday about the concerns the government has re: people in their 50s who are now missing from the workplace as a result of covid and who are not going back? That’s a lot of missing expertise and productivity.

RedHelenB · 05/10/2022 07:29

How would you know you had it? I've not tested at all, if I'm ill I'm ill and I act accordingly. A little bit unwell I'd carry on with life.

NotLovingWFH · 05/10/2022 07:30

If I was ill I’d cancel or postpone as I always would have. I don’t think I’d test for covid specifically unless I had to for work now.

ihatethecold · 05/10/2022 07:32

I actually quite shocked you need to ask this.
my teenage dd currently has covid for the 3rd time this year. Missing more and more college. She is fully vaccinated.
she is ill and it takes her ages to recover each time.
no underlying illness at all.

please don’t be selfish and host a party if you have covid.

TheBirdintheCave · 05/10/2022 07:32

YABU.

If you know you have it or even suspect you do then you should cancel. Any one of those guests could have a parent or child with immune deficiencies. Throwing a party when Covid positive is very selfish at best and actually dangerous at worst.

This is coming from someone whose father had a stem cell transplant as a Leukaemia survivor during the height of the pandemic. I suppose I'm naturally more careful for fear for him and people like him.

That's not to say I've lived in a bubble though. I've been to three weddings in that time and taken six flights (with precautions like masks and hand sanitiser). I've attempted to live my life as normal and have never caught Covid.

phishy · 05/10/2022 07:38

Lunabun · 05/10/2022 07:27

If you tell people and they still want to come, no problems. Probably some people won't care.

But if you were my friend and I found out you'd deliberately not told me you had covid and then exposed me to it, I'd honestly not speak to you again. I have particular circumstances right now which would make getting covid a very bad idea. Do not assume you know everything about your friends' medical lives.

OP has clearly said she would tell everyone about the Covid, so why say she is assuming anything? Hmm

Even her OP says ‘If someone’s worried or vulnerable they wouldn’t come anyway.’

SoupDragon · 05/10/2022 07:38

I don't think you necessarily need to cancel but you absolutely need to tell everyone and let them make their own decision. If most people are OK with it, go ahead. If not, cancel.

it's all very well people saying "What if they are vulnerable...?" etc but what if they aren't? Not everyone is. That is why letting people know is key.

Eryr22 · 05/10/2022 07:39

I'm another one who has just caught Covid at 36 weeks pregnant and feel like death. Also wouldn't inflict this on anybody.

phishy · 05/10/2022 07:40

TheBirdintheCave · 05/10/2022 07:32

YABU.

If you know you have it or even suspect you do then you should cancel. Any one of those guests could have a parent or child with immune deficiencies. Throwing a party when Covid positive is very selfish at best and actually dangerous at worst.

This is coming from someone whose father had a stem cell transplant as a Leukaemia survivor during the height of the pandemic. I suppose I'm naturally more careful for fear for him and people like him.

That's not to say I've lived in a bubble though. I've been to three weddings in that time and taken six flights (with precautions like masks and hand sanitiser). I've attempted to live my life as normal and have never caught Covid.

Why would people with immune deficiencies attend a party where someone has Covid?