Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still hold this party if Covid ++?

193 replies

Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:19

DP has a 40 coming up and we’re having a party - 40/50 people at ours. A couple of friends now have Covid, though should be fine by birthday time.
DP and I were discussing what would happen if either of us were ++ - do we still go ahead? We have events in the run up plus kids in school and we know it’s spiking/spreading.

but UK now just says - get on with it. Don’t even test. Is that right? If someone’s worried or vulnerable they wouldn’t come anyway.

YANBU - just have the party - life goes on

YABU - you have to cancel if someone in the household has COvID, morally if not legally.

OP posts:
DillDanding · 05/10/2022 10:11

I had it in July. Only knew because we had some tests still. Was less ill than a cold.

We don't have any tests in the house now, so if we got it, we wouldn't know.

I think the pandemic has made some people overreact and there is still paranoia.

SugerNiner · 05/10/2022 10:12

Well there's no guarantee that even if you tested it would show positive if it's Covid...both times we've all had covid my daughter tested positive on ONE day but had symptoms and was ill for ten days. My OH only tested positive for two days.

Topgub · 05/10/2022 10:14

@bodie1890

You personally can obviously afford to do that.

Not everyone can.

Numbat2022 · 05/10/2022 10:15

Obviously you don't host a party when you have Covid. Be sensible, for fuck's sake.

Jizzle · 05/10/2022 10:15

Totally fine to carry on in my opinion. Times have changed, people have moved on. I had Coivd two weeks ago and went in to the office anyway, didn't feel the need to tell anyone as the symptoms weren't too bad. This seems to align with the advice from government and my employers, so all good.

shinynewapple22 · 05/10/2022 10:16

If we have something important coming up we try to limit our contact with others as much as possible so reduce the likelihood of getting it - so these kinds of decisions wouldn't be necessary . Obviously you need to work and your DC go to school but I wouldn't arrange a meet up or go out to something not necessary during the week before. I am thinking of planning for things like a holiday (or in your case an important party) so I'm not talking of completely putting lives on hold still.

TheLoupGarou · 05/10/2022 10:19

If you felt fine presumably you wouldn't test so wouldn't know you had it. If you were unwell why would you want to host a party? I wouldn't want to go to a party where I knew people were likely to infect me with anything, be it chicken pox or norovirus or a cold or ebola!

I've just had Covid for the first time (triple vaccinated) and it has absolutely floored me for a week - the exhaustion is unreal. I wouldn't take it lightly again - I was very blasé before I got it. I'm in my 40's, no underlying health conditions. While family has had it - everyone symptomatic and unwell.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/10/2022 10:19

Numbat2022 · Today 10:15
Obviously you don't host a party when you have Covid. Be sensible, for fuck's sake.

well, quite. Thanks. It’s that obvious to me, too. Was beginning to think I live in a parallel universe.

TonTonMacoute · 05/10/2022 10:20

I'm just getting over Covid atm.

If you do catch it and feel half as bad as I do, you won't feel like hosting a party!

Thefaceofboe · 05/10/2022 10:26

Just don’t test? I’ve felt grotty lots of times since covid testing wasn’t made compulsory and I haven’t thought for a second about testing

MGMidget · 05/10/2022 10:27

A party with 40 people in close proximity talking loudly at one another face to face (and hence projecting their breath at one another in close proximity) to be heard above the din in certainly a super-spreader event. I think you would be very selfish to go ahead. It wont just be the 40 people at your party who are exposed but potentially a load more they come into contact with afterwards plus those people’s contacts and so on. What is the situation regarding any losses if you cancel? If its just in your home and there are no venue costs couldnt you just rearrange? For a big birthday I think you can schedule the actual party at a time to suit and have a small celebration close to the actual day. In all honesty given that covid will likely be a problem throughout the winter months I would consider waiting until the summer and throwing an outdoor party for friends/family when you can enjoy having everyone there with minimal worries. Have a small celebration and nice meal now.

Jumperoo56370000 · 05/10/2022 10:28

Heronwatcher · 05/10/2022 07:22

I don’t think you have to cancel but you absolutely must tell everyone who is due to come.

This. I would never forgive you if you let me come to an event with you knowing you had Covid (and that includes having strong symptoms with close contacts but not testing).

maranella · 05/10/2022 10:30

I think if you know you have Covid (i.e. you've got a +ve test result), then you have a duty to warn people - even now when it's not legally required. It's just kind and a courtesy and allows those who choose to be cautious to make an informed choice.

People are still ending up in hospital with and dying from Covid, even after all the vaccines. Two 80+ year old members of my family had to go into hospital this week, due to low oxygen and struggling to breathe.

PeloFondo · 05/10/2022 10:31

Topgub · 05/10/2022 09:49

We cant stop covid spreading

People are asymptomatic and can also be infectious prior to symptoms developing and for up to 10 days after symptoms develop.

The govt are no longer providing tests so unless you're willing to pay for 1, you wouldn't necessarily know you had covid.

Unfortunately all that means that those who are more vulnerable need to manage that risk

Although as far as I know, death rates from covid remain relatively low as does the incidence of true long covid.

The problem is managing the risk
So I'm immunocompromised and will be for life
Half this site says get on with it, some say manage your own risk... but how exactly
Managing my own risk seems to be never going to a gathering, supermarket, holiday, anywhere ever again
But then other people say I shouldn't still be shielding and it's just a cold and nobody needs to wear a mask
Genuinely (not being goady!) this is why it's so hard because my blood disorder is lifelong and not months/couple of years. I can manage my risk by asking people who visit me to test but anywhere else is like playing Russian roulette Sad

But I can't stay isolated forever although it's been a long few years now

Pollydon · 05/10/2022 10:31

Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 08:07

‘Or do vulnerable people not matter?’

I’d expect those people to manage their own risk accordingly. My BIL is in that category and he won’t be coming, nor would I expect him to. He chooses where and when he goes to places himself. And whether or not he thinks going on holiday is worth the risk of a plane flight - yes for him - or not.
so while he’ll go on holiday, he avoids indoor crowded situations. He’ll go to an outdoor party or event but not indoor.

it’s not up to the rest of the world to tiptoe around vulnerable people, not in general.

Be honest and let people choose if they wish to risk it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/10/2022 10:32

If you were to go ahead you must tell all of the invited guests, so they can make an informed choice.

Very wrong otherwise.

milveycrohn · 05/10/2022 10:32

Frankly, when I had covid last Xmas, I was not as ill as when I had a bad cold in October 2021. Away with DC and DGC over October half-term, pre-booked, etc was constantly testing , all OK, despite persitent cough.
However, day after Boxing Day 2021, felt rough; (woke up with temperature), tested and positive straight away.
Otherwise all OK, but had to keep testing until clear, a few days later.

StarlightLady · 05/10/2022 10:36

You should not hold a party if you have a bad cold, let alone Covid. The whole Covid thing is not over, fortunately fewer people are dying. But would you know the vulnerability of everybody in the room? You could be directly responsible for something quite nasty happening to someone.

Dontcareforthehaters · 05/10/2022 10:36

I'd stop replying on this thread. The OP has clearly made up their mind. Not sure why they even bothered to post the question.

Original poster
Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 10:40

‘Read about Long Covid and then tell me it's just a cold.’
i didn’t say that I said ‘MY experience of it’s been like a cold. If I had t tested I would never have realised it was Covid.

OP posts:
Topgub · 05/10/2022 10:41

@PeloFondo

Yes, I appreciate how difficult a position it is

I'm not sure there is an answer. The lockdowns were as harmful as covid imo

Original poster
Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 10:41

‘The OP has clearly made up their mind.’

To do what?? You seem to have some insight into my mind that even I don’t have!

OP posts:
Original poster
Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 10:42

‘You should not hold a party if you have a bad cold,’
flipping hell, the whole world would stop if everyone cancelled life for a cold! You would HONESTLY cancel a party because you had a cold? Wise up.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/10/2022 10:43

Keep testing daily from 4 days before the event and tell people if you test positive. Then it's up to them.

FrangipaniBlue · 05/10/2022 10:48

Splutteramo · 05/10/2022 07:23

I suppose my Q is - if you think you have Covid and feel okay, are you honestly going to self isolate or do we just treat it like a cold or flu??

I think that's the question you have to ask yourself.

If you had a cold or flu would you still host a party for 30-40 people in your home?

Swipe left for the next trending thread