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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD's friends "fancy" DH

243 replies

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 20:53

DD is in year 8, it's her birthday next month and she's having a sleepover with 5 of her mates from school.
The issue is, according to DD then DH has apparently developed a little fan club consisting of a few school friends who apparently think he's "fit" one of her friends who's slept over in the past found his Facebook and a few of his profile pics have been passed around the classroom so the others can decide if he's "fit" or not.
DH was mortified when she was telling us in the car earlier and has said he's staying at a friends house the night of the sleepover as he wouldn't feel comfortable being around them.

Am I wrong in thinking he's being stupid and overthinking it far too much? They'll be in her bedroom the majority of the time not like they'll be sat downstairs watching tv with us etc.

If I'd known I was gonna be left alone with 6 of them then I wouldn't of agreed to so many staying over but it's too late to cut down on numbers now.

Not sure whether to tell him to stop being stupid or just suck it up and let him stay at his friends house for the night?

OP posts:
lisaJN1986 · 01/10/2022 20:59

I can see why you are a bit peed off with him but my DH just said he would feel unconfortable enough to flee the house for the night as well 😂

cinnabongene · 01/10/2022 20:59

Is your husband her father?

TimeForTeaAndG · 01/10/2022 21:01

I bet DD will be happy if he isn't there and she can have a fun sleepover rather than her pals spending the entire night giggling over your DH.

Amsooverthis · 01/10/2022 21:02

Christ, poor bloke. I can understand his predicament and why he might want to stay elsewhere, if they are already using that language and looking at photos, whilst it might be no more than giggling around him I can sympathise why he would stay clear

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 21:04

cinnabongene · 01/10/2022 20:59

Is your husband her father?

Not biological but as good as, he's raised her from being 3 months old and she doesn't have contact with her bio dad.

OP posts:
Meatshake · 01/10/2022 21:04

I think I'd flee too in his position! It's fairly sensible, both to avoid any embarrassment for your daughter and also to nix any bs from the teenage rumour mill.

I'd have more concerns if he was leaning into it and letting it fluff his ego!

Pottedpalm · 01/10/2022 21:05

I would let him
stay out of the way.

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 21:06

TimeForTeaAndG · 01/10/2022 21:01

I bet DD will be happy if he isn't there and she can have a fun sleepover rather than her pals spending the entire night giggling over your DH.

Yes tbf DD agrees with him.
She didn't want him to pick her up from school on Friday as her mates would be staring and giggling. She said it's too embarrassing & winds her up.

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 01/10/2022 21:06

poor bloke, let him go

Grandeur · 01/10/2022 21:06

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 21:04

Not biological but as good as, he's raised her from being 3 months old and she doesn't have contact with her bio dad.

He's not her biological dad? This could be the reason..

Hoppinggreen · 01/10/2022 21:07

I can see his point.
Also, if there is a room full of 13 year old girls sleeping over he should be well out of the way in any case so you would be “left to it” anyway

OriginalUsername3 · 01/10/2022 21:07

I don't think I'd feel comfortable with being in a house with 6 of DSs friends who fancied me.

Teenagers do stupid shit and honestly when I was a teenager we would definitely flirt with him in a group situation and even wander around him in not much clothing because we were idiots and thought we were soooooo grown up.

butterfliedtwo · 01/10/2022 21:07

of her friends who's slept over in the past found his Facebook and a few of his profile pics have been passed around the classroom so the others can decide if he's "fit" or not.

It's so weird, especially passing his photos around! Is your daughter happy about this?

No wonder he wants to be elsewhere for the evening. I understand that completely. How awkward.

SpaghettiSquash · 01/10/2022 21:08

I don't blame him! My friends and my friends' mums used to fancy my dad when I was a child and it was so embarrassing. I think it will be much better for your DD if he isn't there rather than have her friends giggling over her dad.

Imissmoominmama · 01/10/2022 21:08

Can you invite one of your friends over for a night in/back up?

I don’t blame him at all for being uncomfortable.

MrsTimRiggins · 01/10/2022 21:09

Aw your poor daughter, that would get old really fast!! Itd be better all round for him to disappear for the night I think. Let him go.

Spudina · 01/10/2022 21:09

I actually think that’s not a bad idea.....in an absolute worst case scenario, scantily clad teenagers with over active imaginations, and later rumours flying around school..... why risk it??

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2022 21:10

At this age, their behaviour around men they 'fancy' can be quite silly and some of the rumours they make up can be brutal. He probably is better off out of the house for the night.

Meatshake · 01/10/2022 21:10

OriginalUsername3 · 01/10/2022 21:07

I don't think I'd feel comfortable with being in a house with 6 of DSs friends who fancied me.

Teenagers do stupid shit and honestly when I was a teenager we would definitely flirt with him in a group situation and even wander around him in not much clothing because we were idiots and thought we were soooooo grown up.

That was exactly my thinking, I know exactly what me and my friends would have done. Totally having a cringe gland flare up right now!

Myotherusernameisonholiday · 01/10/2022 21:11

A few of my friends used to fancy my dad but it was all laughing and silly jokes, he never knew though (until we were all in our 30s) so I can appreciate your DH wanting to avoid them. However, id also be pissed off he'd not be around to help...

saveforthat · 01/10/2022 21:12

Hoppinggreen · 01/10/2022 21:07

I can see his point.
Also, if there is a room full of 13 year old girls sleeping over he should be well out of the way in any case so you would be “left to it” anyway

Why?

LetMeSpeak · 01/10/2022 21:13

Tell him to man up and deal with it. Why is he so afraid of a few teens. I was unfortunately but in the same position with my Db’s friends. You immediately make it known to them what is and isn’t appropriate. I can’t see them crossing any boundaries though.

user19888891 · 01/10/2022 21:14

Spudina · 01/10/2022 21:09

I actually think that’s not a bad idea.....in an absolute worst case scenario, scantily clad teenagers with over active imaginations, and later rumours flying around school..... why risk it??

I agree with this. I would let him stay elsewhere

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 21:15

Spudina · 01/10/2022 21:09

I actually think that’s not a bad idea.....in an absolute worst case scenario, scantily clad teenagers with over active imaginations, and later rumours flying around school..... why risk it??

Yes I think this is what he's most worried about. I suppose you can't be too careful especially in the age of social media etc.

I guess a night alone with 6 teenagers is better than any harmful rumours spreading.
He has offered to take DS with him too, so I suppose we can turn it into a "girls only" night.

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
LemonDrop22 · 01/10/2022 21:15

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2022 21:10

At this age, their behaviour around men they 'fancy' can be quite silly and some of the rumours they make up can be brutal. He probably is better off out of the house for the night.

This.

Anyway, this is hilarious, and kudos to you for pulling such a 🔥 partner. 😁