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Original poster

DD's friends "fancy" DH

243 replies

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 20:53

DD is in year 8, it's her birthday next month and she's having a sleepover with 5 of her mates from school.
The issue is, according to DD then DH has apparently developed a little fan club consisting of a few school friends who apparently think he's "fit" one of her friends who's slept over in the past found his Facebook and a few of his profile pics have been passed around the classroom so the others can decide if he's "fit" or not.
DH was mortified when she was telling us in the car earlier and has said he's staying at a friends house the night of the sleepover as he wouldn't feel comfortable being around them.

Am I wrong in thinking he's being stupid and overthinking it far too much? They'll be in her bedroom the majority of the time not like they'll be sat downstairs watching tv with us etc.

If I'd known I was gonna be left alone with 6 of them then I wouldn't of agreed to so many staying over but it's too late to cut down on numbers now.

Not sure whether to tell him to stop being stupid or just suck it up and let him stay at his friends house for the night?

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 02/10/2022 19:44

I don’t blame him.

Missingpop · 02/10/2022 19:56

Year 8 girls are hormones at 100 miles an hour if they’re already stalking his Facebook account & passing photos around discussing if he’s fit; then I’d say he’s darn right to stay away for the night; the last thing he needs is to have to deal with the furtive imagination of a teenager going into overdrive back the poor guy up & agree it’s for the best; of course the little minxes will be devastated he’s not home but they’ll get over it just steer clear of this type of thing in future for his sake.

TheColorIndigo · 02/10/2022 20:35

I'm interested in how people think they can lock down Facebook settings so profile pictures are not visible to the public.

liveforsummer · 02/10/2022 20:38

TheColorIndigo · 02/10/2022 20:35

I'm interested in how people think they can lock down Facebook settings so profile pictures are not visible to the public.

Also it's no surprise they found him easily. The search will be influenced by location and friends of friends of friends . No need to have actual mutual friends to find someone pretty easily

Angrywife · 02/10/2022 20:48

Rumours and accusations from teenage girls have ruined lives.
He's got the best idea to stay away.

MsTSwift · 02/10/2022 20:55

Sorry but you have to be super paranoid around teenage girls. We hosted international teen girls for years Dh was careful never to be alone with them. Just takes one loony with a false accusation…

Angrywife · 02/10/2022 20:56

ElectedOnThursday · 01/10/2022 22:10

No they don’t, this is a sick fantasy. Children consider anyone over age 18 to be old. And they don’t say”fit”.

It's been way too long since you were a teenager, either your memory is getting a bit rusty or you were schooled in a nunery

Madmeerkat · 02/10/2022 20:57

is It wrong that I want to see a photo of him now too?!!! Sorry but I bet everyone else wants to as welI 😂
he’s very sensible, he should stay away, it’s not worth the risk. Teenagers make ul
all sorts of rubbish

TheLassWiADelicateAir · 02/10/2022 21:02

Tootels · 02/10/2022 18:55

@TheLassWiADelicateAir my dd is y8 she's 13 in august so 12 and 13.

Thank you.

2bazookas · 02/10/2022 21:03

You should get your priorities right. No way should a bunch of ill mannered silly girls drive a man out of his own home.

I'd tell DD that their inappropriate behaviour has made you and DH feel really uncomfortable. For that reason the sleepover is cancelled and she will have to rethink her birthday celebration.

Derkle · 02/10/2022 21:08

Spudina · 01/10/2022 21:09

I actually think that’s not a bad idea.....in an absolute worst case scenario, scantily clad teenagers with over active imaginations, and later rumours flying around school..... why risk it??

This.

2bazookas · 02/10/2022 21:10

Angrywife · 02/10/2022 20:48

Rumours and accusations from teenage girls have ruined lives.
He's got the best idea to stay away.

Nope. The best idea is that he stays home and the girls stay away. DD needs to learn a lesson about boundaries.

What parents would host their son's teenage pals after making ribald sexual commentary about his mother?

Mollymoostoo · 02/10/2022 21:22

I think you need to see it from his point of view. If he was home and the girls started to make comments about him in anyway, he could be accused of inappropriate behaviour. Respect his view and discuss boundaries with you DD. This sint an acceptable conversation for her friends to be having and if he feels uncomfortable this should be respected.
If this was another father and your daughter, how would you respond?

RecklessGoddess · 02/10/2022 21:27

Since his pics have been passed around the classroom, I would be inclined to speak to the school about it. It is highly inappropriate for young girls to be passing pics of a classmate's let alone a friend's father, in class or even in school. Your poor daughter must be mortified, I know I would be.

MuftiFriday2 · 02/10/2022 21:31

BMW6 · 02/10/2022 07:18

My niece (14 at the time) had a crush on my DH (45 then) several years ago.

It was very obvious - even my old Mum noticed it and remarked on it without us having said anything.

Very odd because a) Age b) Balding rapidly

I remember my first fantasy man was Mr Spock. I was around 13, he was old enough to be my dad and an alien.

Early 80s, aged 13, I had the same crush. My BF preferred Captain Kirk. Looking back, she had more sense.

How2Support · 02/10/2022 21:35

@CustardySergeant and @ItsaPeppaPink I assumed the PP (@Grandeur ?) who mentioned the DH isn't biological dad meant he would maybe feel more vulnerable to teen friends of DD seeing him as "fair game".

xogossipgirlxo · 02/10/2022 21:38

I think he’s right to stay away. Btw. why do you find it funny? If it was the other way round, I bet you wouldn’t think it’s amusing.

Tootels · 02/10/2022 21:45

2bazookas · 02/10/2022 21:03

You should get your priorities right. No way should a bunch of ill mannered silly girls drive a man out of his own home.

I'd tell DD that their inappropriate behaviour has made you and DH feel really uncomfortable. For that reason the sleepover is cancelled and she will have to rethink her birthday celebration.

Same

TheLassWiADelicateAir · 02/10/2022 21:47

xogossipgirlxo · 02/10/2022 21:38

I think he’s right to stay away. Btw. why do you find it funny? If it was the other way round, I bet you wouldn’t think it’s amusing.

I initially thought, yes, very sensible for dad to be away for the night but later posts have made me think- yes, this is not funny and not ok.

I'm another one who fancied Captain Kirk as a teenager but that's quite different from fancying, or claiming to fancy, a friend's father.

TheLassWiADelicateAir · 02/10/2022 21:49

Tootels · 02/10/2022 21:45

Same

Show quote history

Same

2bazookas. I initially thought your post was OTT , but you're right

HRTQueen · 02/10/2022 21:56

I don’t blame you dh for not wanting to be there abs your dd will feel more relaxed

a few of us fancied our friends dad and would make it obvious he was a taxi driver I’m not sure if he always worked nights or choose to work the nights she would have sleepovers but we certainly would try our best at flirting with him

my nieces friends fancied my brother he stayed out of there way as much as he could (single dad)

CelestiaNoctis · 02/10/2022 22:31

Smart man. Send the boys out of the house. Tell the girls something gross about your dh and kill the attraction lol.

CelestiaNoctis · 02/10/2022 22:32

Also it's definitely a harmless joke though but as you say, can't be too careful these days and I get why he's uncomfortable.

xogossipgirlxo · 02/10/2022 22:49

TheLassWiADelicateAir · 02/10/2022 21:47

I initially thought, yes, very sensible for dad to be away for the night but later posts have made me think- yes, this is not funny and not ok.

I'm another one who fancied Captain Kirk as a teenager but that's quite different from fancying, or claiming to fancy, a friend's father.

Show quote history

I think times changed for worse, better safe than sorry especially with teenagers. Weird reality 😵‍💫

ForestFrank · 02/10/2022 23:05

Two ways to deal with this.

  1. DH does a swift 'exit left' and does not get involved. Or much more fun...
  2. DH wears the grottiest, most stained white t-shirt he owns with matching foul Y-fronts (think Rab C Nesbit) and then sits with the young ladies farting and belching loudly at every available opportunity One teenage crush, instantly 'crushed'.