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Original poster

DD's friends "fancy" DH

243 replies

Dollydea · 01/10/2022 20:53

DD is in year 8, it's her birthday next month and she's having a sleepover with 5 of her mates from school.
The issue is, according to DD then DH has apparently developed a little fan club consisting of a few school friends who apparently think he's "fit" one of her friends who's slept over in the past found his Facebook and a few of his profile pics have been passed around the classroom so the others can decide if he's "fit" or not.
DH was mortified when she was telling us in the car earlier and has said he's staying at a friends house the night of the sleepover as he wouldn't feel comfortable being around them.

Am I wrong in thinking he's being stupid and overthinking it far too much? They'll be in her bedroom the majority of the time not like they'll be sat downstairs watching tv with us etc.

If I'd known I was gonna be left alone with 6 of them then I wouldn't of agreed to so many staying over but it's too late to cut down on numbers now.

Not sure whether to tell him to stop being stupid or just suck it up and let him stay at his friends house for the night?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollydea · 01/10/2022 22:20

ElectedOnThursday · 01/10/2022 22:10

No they don’t, this is a sick fantasy. Children consider anyone over age 18 to be old. And they don’t say”fit”.

It's definitely not a sick fantasy!
Wtf?

We're in the north of England and "fit" is still a common expression here.
I've never trolled in my life and certainly wouldn't do so over something like this. 🙄

OP posts:
Smoem · 01/10/2022 22:21

I think it’s great your DD felt safe to discuss this with you. Poor thing.

Can imagine your DH wants to leave the house when they’re there. Tough for you, but better safe than sorry. Girls do fantasize.

TwoWrightFeet · 01/10/2022 22:21

I’d just be grateful he’s not suggesting you sleep at a friends house the night of the sleepover!

Talia99 · 01/10/2022 22:21

Tootels · 01/10/2022 22:12

What 13 year old would fancy a 40 odd year old?

Lots? An older married man makes for a ‘safe’ crush at that age. Things only go wrong if the man in question isn’t a decent man like the OP’s husband and either gets an ego boost out of encouraging the girls or worse actually responds.

Dealing with one or two of DD’s friends visiting the house is very different to 6 girls in nightwear, possibly winding each other up to do something silly.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 01/10/2022 22:22

I think he's being very sensible - it only takes one of them to post something on tiktok or Snapchat with him in the background and it could look very dodgy. If he's not there then there can be no suggestion he has done anything that could be misconstrued.

I remember being that age, like PP there's a serious cringe going on here just thinking about how overt my and my friends 'subtle' crushing was Blush

One school friend even intentionally failed her streaming tests when the teachers for the streams were switched around, so she'd stay in the class of the teacher she fancied. He would have been late 30s I reckon.

Ffs I quite fancied Bruce Willis!!!

spongedog · 01/10/2022 22:24

Perhaps a good idea that he does stay away overnight. But he can still help with prepping for any food and clearing away the day after, such as washing etc.

Hairymaery · 01/10/2022 22:26

Grandeur · 01/10/2022 21:06

He's not her biological dad? This could be the reason..

Show quote history

Rubbish, he's as good as.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 01/10/2022 22:26

I had my eldest young. Both DH and I have been the object of a bit of stalking and comments made to DD. Probably just because we are younger than most other parents. I've locked down my Facebook as apparently some of the boys in DD's class found me. I'm a very average looking 31 year old for what it's worth!!

We just don't pay any attention. I don't think DH would flee but I understand the concerns. It's very unlikely to be anything but harmless nonsense, albeit a bit embarrassing for your DD.

Adultchildofelderlyparents · 01/10/2022 22:27

Tootels · 01/10/2022 22:12

What 13 year old would fancy a 40 odd year old?

Oh come on! As a teenager you never had a crush on a teacher, pop star, actor, and other adult?

EntertainingandFactual · 01/10/2022 22:31

I’m sure most people did.
We didn’t stay overnight at their house and eat breakfast in our PJs with them though.

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2022 22:31

@ElectedOnThursday

I remember fancying quite a few celebrities who were in their late twenties and early thirties at that age. I didn't think that they were old, albeit I understood that any man of that age was too old for me. I also use the word 'fit' quite a lot. It is common vocab in many places, at least in the North.

Tootels · 01/10/2022 22:32

You can't compare your friends dad to an actor or singer though.

NormalNans · 01/10/2022 22:34

ElectedOnThursday · 01/10/2022 22:10

No they don’t, this is a sick fantasy. Children consider anyone over age 18 to be old. And they don’t say”fit”.

Don’t be ridiculous, lots of young kids fancy adults. My friends used to call my dad superman because they all thought he looked like Christopher Reeves and fancied him. I fancied loads of adults when I was a teen, as did lots of my friends.

It’s a bit odd to be labelling things like this as a ‘sick fantasy’

iekanda · 01/10/2022 22:34

Spudina · 01/10/2022 21:09

I actually think that’s not a bad idea.....in an absolute worst case scenario, scantily clad teenagers with over active imaginations, and later rumours flying around school..... why risk it??

I completely agree with this. Minefield. No way would I stay in the house if I was him.

friedbrainrightnow · 01/10/2022 22:36

I think him being younger than their own dads (most probably I imagine) is probably making him seem alluring in some way.

marlowe5 · 01/10/2022 22:39

Yep. Let him leave. I was horrified when my DS1 told me that there was whole peer thing about 'dadbod'. While I was finding the whole reality at the time of dadbod not pretty unattractive myself, some teens apparently think this is lovely. I can understand him wanting to be well out of it - the last thing any of you would want would be dealing with any false allegations.

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 01/10/2022 22:39

ElectedOnThursday · 01/10/2022 22:10

No they don’t, this is a sick fantasy. Children consider anyone over age 18 to be old. And they don’t say”fit”.

Don’t be ridiculous - plenty of girls have crushes on teachers, actors etc much older than them. I know there was at least one fit dad among my friends as a teenager and my celebrity crush at the age of 16 was a bald man who easily looked like he was in his 40s, (although i had no idea of his actual age, which it turns out was 26! )

girlofsandwich · 01/10/2022 22:41

Oh god there were definitely some silly mob infatuations among my friends when I was that age... A new teacher in his 30s, a lad working in the local shop. Just something to talk about and all short lived. I really feel for your daughter but it will pass. Girls night is a great idea.

They'll be delighted with oven pizzas, snacks, watching movies and chatting way too loudly. Help yourself breakfast bits.

Hopefully it'll be very hands off for you. You won't be able to switch off but hopefully you're not run off your feet! Nice takeaway at the end of it all.

peassandcarrots · 01/10/2022 22:42

I'd leave him to stay out for the night, for his sake and your daughters.

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2022 22:43

@Tootels

I used to fancy a guy who used to work in a cafe that me and my mum used to visit a lot, would have been in his late twenties/early thirties.

If any of my friends had handsome dads in their thirties, there is nothing to say that I wouldn't have fancied them.

Pineappleflowers · 01/10/2022 22:49

He’s right to flee. There’s a real risk that he’ll be put in an awkward situation that will be exaggerated in the retelling later. Children that age do often make up stories for attention, it would be easy for the girls to start a rumour about him flirting with them that could get out of hand and cause problems for him. What can he do if they pose next to him and take a selfie and then pass it round the class while making up fantasies? If a teacher overhears you’d be in a serious conversation with social services pretty quick.

Best he stay away. I wouldn’t invite the girls overnight when he’s there again.

Kissingfrogs25 · 01/10/2022 22:53

Teens can be brutal
Your do is completely right to remove himself. The whole night will be about him.
I would feel relieved I had such a sensible dp and my dh would make himself scarce too.

AnotherForumUser · 01/10/2022 22:54

"Not sure whether to tell him to stop being stupid or just suck it up and let him stay at his friends house for the night?"

Who the fuck do you think you are?

midlifecrash · 01/10/2022 22:54

Get your mum and mil round instead.. that’ll learn em

Gensola · 01/10/2022 22:57

My friends fancied my dad when I was at school and called him Ryan because they thought he looked like Ryan Giggs (thankfully long before all the nasty truth about RG, this was the 1990s!) - he’d have been 30s then and we were 13. Not sure why people are so shocked lol, I also had a crush on a teacher at school who could have been anything 35-45 😅