To think you can learn a lot about someone from the way they speak to waiters & shop assistants

[chatterbug22]

Or anyone they perceive to be lower than themselves

Nothing repulses me more than hearing people patronise waiting staff and people who work in retail. Slow timing them, being ‘assertive’ with them, demanding the nominal service charge for the table to be removed for literally no reason than ‘they shouldn’t have put it on the bill without asking me’.

Just think all of it is gross. Even if your new jumper has a snag in it or your food was cold, the person you are speaking with is almost always not to blame and they are at the bottom of the ladder just trying to earn an honest living.

I’ve been told previously that this opinion means I am virtue signalling but I really admire those working for minimum wage as often it’s jobs that have little thanks in exchange for a lot of manual effort.

AIBU?

I wouldn’t have thought “do you think this baby is included in the nappy advert” was actually a serious question. But no. Obviously. But HOW does that relate to my situation. There was ONE picture of a product that WAS available and I got one that WASN’T pictured.

The correct analogy for what you have given would be “There was a child in the Hot Wheels picture but I only got the Hot Wheels not a child”.

Rather embarrassing that you think this was a ‘gotcha’ moment.

Nobody said you should give a sniveling apology - that was the point of my post. Speaking in a polite and respectful manner isn’t making a sniveling apology.

And I don’t mind swearing at all. But being called obtuse and thick and sworn at for disagreeing with someone? I don’t think that shows you in such a good light.

Whilst they didn’t say this word for word their word and attitude did convey this.

And I wasn’t rude. I simply said “That’s not what I ordered” and got spoken to like I was a moron. I don’t appreciate, or stand for things like that. The fact you’re rewriting the situation is plain odd.

You disagree with what sorry? That I wanted to be spoken to rudely?

Have you told them the reason you're no longer friends with them? I mean going from your OP and how their behaviour sickened you, I presume you're going NC?

Lol. Classic reply of someone who has no comeback. Never mind. Can’t win at everything.

I didn’t swear AT you.

And I didn’t call you thick - I called you obtuse. Which you are.

I WAS polite and I got a snotty attitude back. How would you have dealt with that?

What did they say that conveyed that message?

Perhaps you ‘simply saying’ you hadn’t ordered an item when they did give you the item you’d ordered conveyed some similar hidden message to them the way them simply saying ‘it’s a packs may vary item madam as stated on the website’ conveyed that message to you?

I would have said ‘oh packs may vary. I didn’t realise when I ordered it, I must not have read it correctly. Is it possible to refund it or swap it for this one please? Thank you for your help.’

No sniveling apologies, but also no imperious orders for them to go and fetch what I want, complaints about the website I didn’t read, or ‘feedback’ for how they should improve a company they have no control over.

I work in retail and we have the habitual complainers come in week after week. They don't do themselves any favours and it's quite amusing to see them being sent deliberately down wrong end of store for an item after being rude to a colleague the previous week. I work on dot.com and our trolleys come in useful for "accidental" bump if customers insist on bad mouthing or barging into us and not bother apologising as they are fond of doing. Most customers are very nice, but you always get the odd few. Fair enough if we are in the wrong but most of the time they are in a bad mood before they set foot in the store and we bear the brunt.

For the love of God.

They didn’t give me the item on the website. That’s clear. That’s enough for the to say “Fair enough she thought she ordered something else and I can see where she’s coming from”.

Even if there HAD been other varieties pictured (there wasn’t) and I didn’t get the one I wanted, I can’t process a refund and I don’t know where the item is so it’s weird to think I shouldn’t have raised any issue. Or do you think ‘she’s cocked uo therefore should just walk away’.

He said “What am I supposed to do?!” But in a REALLY arsey sneery way that I can’t describe just through words. But think of the snottiest customer you’ve dealt with. That kind of attitude. What would you do if you were spoken to like that? (Prediction “I wouldn’t have ordered the wrong thing in the first place”.)

See that to me is a snivelling apology. It was a completely misleading page. I’m not going to be all “oh silly woman what am I like not reading every last word”. The page was misleading. End of.

You think saying ‘oh I didn’t realise, please could I swap it? Thanks very much’ is a sniveling apology? I mean what would you say?

I work on dot.com and our trolleys come in useful for "accidental" bump if customers insist on bad mouthing or barging into us and not bother apologising as they are fond of doing

What do you mean by this?

I said “Well there is one picture on your website and it’s misleading. Could you check to see if you have the pack that’s advertised please?”

Like I say if you only expect sweetness and light in the face of poor service then maybe retail isn’t for you

I wouldn’t have thought “do you think this baby is included in the nappy advert” was actually a serious question. But no. Obviously. But HOW does that relate to my situation. There was ONE picture of a product that WAS available and I got one that WASN’T pictured.
The correct analogy for what you have given would be “There was a child in the Hot Wheels picture but I only got the Hot Wheels not a child”.
Rather embarrassing that you think this was a ‘gotcha’ moment.

Hardly a gotcha moment, just pointing out how ridiculous it is to buy based on an image alone, but I needn't have bothered, you're already doing a good job of showing how ridiculous and unhinged you sound. So crack on.

Lol. Classic reply of someone who has no comeback. Never mind. Can’t win at everything.

Are you 12 years old ?

And you think saying ‘oh I didn’t realise it was packs may vary, please could I refund or swap it, thanks for your help’ is a ‘sniveling apology?’

Yep I agree, but I also totally disagree with service charges automatically being added to your bill! I was a waitress, barmaid and shop assistant in my time, and take a very dim view of people who are rude, to them, or anyone else really.

It was one image of a Mario Kart set (that was available). Nothing else in the picture What should I have expected it be? A giraffe?

The only ridiculous thing was your poor analogy.

Why would I realise there were different pack when there was one on the website?

And no I wouldn’t say that. This place is full on women (rightly) telling other women not to always apologise and simper and take blame, and I subscribe to that notion. I wasn’t to blame (IME you obviously feels differently but I think any normal human not overthinking this because it’s 3pm on a Friday and the kids need picked up shortly). I think anyone would agree that it’s perfectly reasonable to think you ordered the pack in the picture.

However, as a PP has said, shit service shouldn't just be accepted. I've had plenty of experience of people, and it has tended to be younger staff in shops like H&M, not even breaking off from their conversation whilst serving, or putting items through the til. That is bad practice and shit customer service!

This is what I mean - the expectation customers have to be overly sweet, even when something has gone wrong that’s not their fault, otherwise the sales staff hold the right to speak to them like shit.

I didn’t ask of you’d say it - I wanted you to confirm what you said, that you think saying ‘I didn’t realise it was packs may vary, please could I refund or swap, thanks very much’ is a ‘sniveling apology.’

Totally agree. I’ve been known when appreciating a till and they’re chatting about their personal life and ignoring me to ask them to serve me please. Can’t wait to see THAT one rile up the easily offended 😂 And it isn’t me as a PP claims - there’s a definite slip in standard, it was there now and again pre-COVID (but mostly great service) but really prevalent post-COVID.