To think you can learn a lot about someone from the way they speak to waiters & shop assistants

[chatterbug22]

Or anyone they perceive to be lower than themselves

Nothing repulses me more than hearing people patronise waiting staff and people who work in retail. Slow timing them, being ‘assertive’ with them, demanding the nominal service charge for the table to be removed for literally no reason than ‘they shouldn’t have put it on the bill without asking me’.

Just think all of it is gross. Even if your new jumper has a snag in it or your food was cold, the person you are speaking with is almost always not to blame and they are at the bottom of the ladder just trying to earn an honest living.

I’ve been told previously that this opinion means I am virtue signalling but I really admire those working for minimum wage as often it’s jobs that have little thanks in exchange for a lot of manual effort.

AIBU?

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

There was one picture on the website, I fairly assumed that’s what I was ordering and I was handed something different. Should I not have questioned it? The reason I went on the page was because he spoke to me like I was thick as pig shit for not assuming something with one picture was actually a ‘packs may vary’ item. And actually there ARE places that will note feed back from customers and ‘run it up the chain’ so to speak rather than scoffing in their faces. Tesco are a good example

The feedback is best given online, there is an option for that. If I told my manager that some woman who didn’t read the information when ordering a toy wanted the website changing I doubt I’d even get a reply.

And yeah, you really should read the info when ordering an item online. Nobody’s saying you should ‘assume’ it will be a packs may vary item - that’s why they include that information!

If he was rude that’s obviously a different issue, but you’d be surprised how many customers confuse ‘rude service’ with ‘didn’t take the blame for my mistake.’

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

It wasn’t my mistake, the website should have been clearer. Yes I could (and did) have nipped to find it myself but this just reinforces my point that customer service isn’t good anymore, nobody wants to give good service, it’s the bare minimum and we apparently have to tolerate it because the places we shop decided not to pay a shit tonne to their staff. I don’t subscribe to that. And nothing can persuade me that speaking like shit to customers is something we should all be expecting and tolerating.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

I don’t agree it was my mistake for not reading every last sentence of the description. I saw the item online based on the photo, the one and only photo, and ordered it. It’s a fair assumption that I’d get what was on that picture. I’m not the type of person to go “Oh dear silly me what am I likel - i assumed they’d got the wrong one (a very fair assumption) and raised it with them. To be met with a patronising twat tone

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

It wasn’t my mistake, the website should have been clearer. Yes I could (and did) have nipped to find it myself but this just reinforces my point that customer service isn’t good anymore, nobody wants to give good service, it’s the bare minimum and we apparently have to tolerate it because the places we shop decided not to pay a shit tonne to their staff. I don’t subscribe to that. And nothing can persuade me that speaking like shit to customers is something we should all be expecting and tolerating.

It was your mistake. This is sort of the problem - if you went in with the attitude it was their fault you marked yourself as someone who they don’t want to help. You did not read the information on an item you bought. You then were given that item and said it was the ‘wrong one’ because you hadn’t checked the information before buying it. That was your mistake.

And yeah, most retail workers do give the bare minimum if you come in with an attitude like they are at fault because you didn’t read the information when you ordered an item.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

If that was me when I was in retail I’d have said oh sorry yes fair enough I’d have thought the same I’ll go and check and see if there’s the one pictured. It’s really not hard, and I don’t think that’s a wildly ridiculous expectation. The jobs I worked in, if I spoke down to customers I’d have been sacked on the spot. I also always thought difficult customers were a PITA but you learn and grow a thick skin from it. Unlike these days where they run to the stock room and livestream themselves crying on TikTok

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

It was your mistake. This is sort of the problem - if you went in with the attitude it was their fault you marked yourself as someone who they don’t want to help. You did not read the information on an item you bought. You then were given that item and said it was the ‘wrong one’ because you hadn’t checked the information before buying it. That was your mistake.

And yeah, most retail workers do give the bare minimum if you come in with an attitude like they are at fault because you didn’t read the information when you ordered an item.

I didn’t say this guy was at fault I excuse me that isn’t what I ordered (a fair assumption). When he said packs may vary I checked on the website and asked to look for the one pictured and explained that’s why I thought they’d got it wrong. If that is enough to make a sales assistant believe they have a right to be a dick then they should probably find a new job for thin skinned people

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

I didn’t say this guy was at fault I excuse me that isn’t what I ordered (a fair assumption). When he said packs may vary I checked on the website and asked to look for the one pictured and explained that’s why I thought they’d got it wrong. If that is enough to make a sales assistant believe they have a right to be a dick then they should probably find a new job for thin skinned people

But you made a random assumption based on your mistake - if he was a dick that’s because he was a rude person but that’s got nothing to do with your insistence that the website isn’t clear and it wasn’t your mistake. And it’s annoying to have to deal with customers who make mistakes then feel they can just act like someone else has it wrong.

[Kanaloa]

And for clarity this is how obvious the website is. So you can see why it would make you eye roll a bit to have a stroppy customer insist it isn’t their mistake, you’ve given them the wrong item, and offer ‘feedback’ on how the website isn’t clear enough. It’s very clear that it’s a packs may vary type of toy.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

But you made a random assumption based on your mistake - if he was a dick that’s because he was a rude person but that’s got nothing to do with your insistence that the website isn’t clear and it wasn’t your mistake. And it’s annoying to have to deal with customers who make mistakes then feel they can just act like someone else has it wrong.

I don’t think it’s a ‘random assumption’ to believe that you’re getting the same thing as the picture on the page of the item you’ve ordered. It’s a very fair assumption in fact. When I was handed something that wasn’t pictured on the page I questioned it. I’m genuinely failing to see how I was in the wrong here 🤣 and it’s ok to be a dick of a customer fairly assumes they been given a wrong item….ok. Should I have said nothing to spare his feelings?

[Kanaloa]

But I do think it’s a difference of approach. If a customer approached me and said ‘hi, I ordered this online and I just didn’t read it properly - I thought I would get x package. Is there any chance I could refund or swap it for this one?’ Then I’d be happy to help.

If they came up saying I’d given them the wrong one, expected me to leave my area to go looking for the alternative and deliver it to their hand, then gave me feedback on how it was the website’s fault and not their own, I’d think ‘maybe you should have read it beforehand instead of blaming everyone else.’

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

I don’t think it’s a ‘random assumption’ to believe that you’re getting the same thing as the picture on the page of the item you’ve ordered. It’s a very fair assumption in fact. When I was handed something that wasn’t pictured on the page I questioned it. I’m genuinely failing to see how I was in the wrong here 🤣 and it’s ok to be a dick of a customer fairly assumes they been given a wrong item….ok. Should I have said nothing to spare his feelings?

Well it is a random assumption when it’s extremely clearly stated on the website that packs may vary and there’s no guarantee of receiving the one in the photo…

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

And for clarity this is how obvious the website is. So you can see why it would make you eye roll a bit to have a stroppy customer insist it isn’t their mistake, you’ve given them the wrong item, and offer ‘feedback’ on how the website isn’t clear enough. It’s very clear that it’s a packs may vary type of toy.

Funnily enough I just checked it and the page has changed since to reflect all packs! That wasn’t the pictures on the page at the time I ordered. There’s one picture. Perfectly reasonable to assume what you are ordering is what is pictured. And if not - it’s a fair mistake, no need to be a cock about it

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

Well it is a random assumption when it’s extremely clearly stated on the website that packs may vary and there’s no guarantee of receiving the one in the photo…

No. You don’t I’d erayand what random means Random would be “Why have you handed me this chicken? I wanted a Turkey”. Whereas I just wanted what was pictured on the order page. Heathen that I am!

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

*you don’t understand

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

Funnily enough I just checked it and the page has changed since to reflect all packs! That wasn’t the pictures on the page at the time I ordered. There’s one picture. Perfectly reasonable to assume what you are ordering is what is pictured. And if not - it’s a fair mistake, no need to be a cock about it

That’s weird, because that message appeared below the buy now button even when I used to work there.

Yes, it is a fair mistake - I wasn’t suggesting you did it maliciously. More that you were acting like it wasn’t your mistake but the store had messed it up, which isn’t really what happened. I think there’s a lot to be said for just saying ‘oh I made a mistake by not checking properly, is there any way you can help me’ rather than coming to it with the wrong frame of mind.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Also when I ordered I didn’t scroll down to that bit because why would I? The title always Mario Kart Hot Wheels 4 pack die cast. There was one picture. Is it REALLY reasonable to assume I’d check in case there were other unpictured packs? I’d expect an assistant’s response to be “Oh yeah fair enough you’d assume that I’ll go see if we have that pictured pack” rather than effectively saying “stupid woman you didn’t read ALL the words, away with you peasant”

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

No. You don’t I’d erayand what random means Random would be “Why have you handed me this chicken? I wanted a Turkey”. Whereas I just wanted what was pictured on the order page. Heathen that I am!

I understand perfectly. It was a packs may vary/lucky dip type of item. You randomly assumed you would get one of the specific items despite the website clearly stating that you cannot request a specific one. You could have just said ‘oh, I made a mistake and did this incorrectly.’

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

That’s weird, because that message appeared below the buy now button even when I used to work there.

Yes, it is a fair mistake - I wasn’t suggesting you did it maliciously. More that you were acting like it wasn’t your mistake but the store had messed it up, which isn’t really what happened. I think there’s a lot to be said for just saying ‘oh I made a mistake by not checking properly, is there any way you can help me’ rather than coming to it with the wrong frame of mind.

Nah I don’t do that self deprecating kinda begging. Too many women do that, the whole ‘so sorry but’ spiel and I refuse to. It’s not a court of law, the blame can’t be given a technicality, and I’m not going to apologise when I’m not sorry.

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

Also when I ordered I didn’t scroll down to that bit because why would I? The title always Mario Kart Hot Wheels 4 pack die cast. There was one picture. Is it REALLY reasonable to assume I’d check in case there were other unpictured packs? I’d expect an assistant’s response to be “Oh yeah fair enough you’d assume that I’ll go see if we have that pictured pack” rather than effectively saying “stupid woman you didn’t read ALL the words, away with you peasant”

Why would you scroll down to read the information directly under the add to basket button? Well I always tend to, because I’m aware that the information is included for a reason. And yeah, I think it’s fairly reasonable to assume customers will read the clearly stated information before they buy an item. Although I have had more than one customer coming in complaining that they ordered a big pikachu teddy and it was small when it arrived… before I point out the size which is stated right under each one on the website.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

I understand perfectly. It was a packs may vary/lucky dip type of item. You randomly assumed you would get one of the specific items despite the website clearly stating that you cannot request a specific one. You could have just said ‘oh, I made a mistake and did this incorrectly.’

I didn’t randomly assume 😂😂 I fairly assumed I’d get the item pictured. Doesn’t everybody?! Randomly assuming would be ordering the hot wheel set and expecting a game of Monopoly

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

Nah I don’t do that self deprecating kinda begging. Too many women do that, the whole ‘so sorry but’ spiel and I refuse to. It’s not a court of law, the blame can’t be given a technicality, and I’m not going to apologise when I’m not sorry.

I didn’t tell you to say ‘so sorry.’ I told you that you’d get better service by admitting that it is your mistake rather than trying to blame staff for your own lack of care when buying an item.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

Why would you scroll down to read the information directly under the add to basket button? Well I always tend to, because I’m aware that the information is included for a reason. And yeah, I think it’s fairly reasonable to assume customers will read the clearly stated information before they buy an item. Although I have had more than one customer coming in complaining that they ordered a big pikachu teddy and it was small when it arrived… before I point out the size which is stated right under each one on the website.

That’s not the same thing though. If they ordered what they thought was a picachu because that was the only picture and got a random Pokémon instead then that would be a fair comparison. And it’s ridiculous to expect anyone to read the whole page when the vast majority of people see the picture and click ‘add to basket’. Don’t like the idea of ‘a customer fucked up therefore we do not help them’ - mistakes happen but I don’t work in the store, you do and you can help me. Don’t be a dick, just help out!

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

@Kanaloa

I didn’t tell you to say ‘so sorry.’ I told you that you’d get better service by admitting that it is your mistake rather than trying to blame staff for your own lack of care when buying an item.

That’s ridiculous - the staff need some sort of acknowledgment from me that I agree with them it’s ‘my fault’ before they’re willing to help? Sounds a bit power trippy to me, or like a parent/child relationship dynamic. I’m so pleased I worked in these jobs before this was a thing, I think I got a much better work ethic from just helping customers even if they didn’t get things 100% right in the first place.

[Kanaloa]

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

That’s not the same thing though. If they ordered what they thought was a picachu because that was the only picture and got a random Pokémon instead then that would be a fair comparison. And it’s ridiculous to expect anyone to read the whole page when the vast majority of people see the picture and click ‘add to basket’. Don’t like the idea of ‘a customer fucked up therefore we do not help them’ - mistakes happen but I don’t work in the store, you do and you can help me. Don’t be a dick, just help out!

Nobody is saying if a customer makes a mistake (even now you seem to think it’s ridiculous to read a clearly stated piece of information when buying an item) we don’t help them. It’s more of a customer makes a mistake and has a shitty attitude and wants to act like it’s the store’s mistake and not their own, then you don’t bend over backwards for them. You made a mistake by not checking what you’d bought. You questioned it, thinking they’d made a mistake. The sales assistant corrected you. You then found the item you wanted.

[Kanaloa]

But yeah, this is pretty much what it is like dealing with difficult customers. They expect you to bend over backwards to help them while taking a snotty attitude and refusing to accept any responsibility when they themselves have made an obvious mistake.